My Attempt at a TruthorDare FanFiction
by msfcatlover
Summary: The title says it all. Rated T for safety.  Discontinued.
1. My Attempt at a ToD FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda, or any people, places, or concepts therein.

Don't worry, I'm not abandoning SotH, I just can't continue it until I get a vacation. In the mean time, I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING! SOMETHING NON-SCHOOL RELATED!

* * *

A Twili girl walks out on stage. She has waist-length wavy hair (flame orange, of course) and wears a light blue sundress with matching slippers. Her shadow markings look like a set of elbow-length gloves and knee-high boots.

Twili: Hi! I'm Emily, Sophie's first OC. Well, actually then I was permanently trapped in imp-form, but she felt like restoring me for the sake of this story. *twirls around to show off the little flair in her skirt* And I couldn't be happier! So anyway, this is a Truth-or-Dare fic for Legend of Zelda. It's in script format because the author feels lazy, please don't report us. We're trying to have fun over here, after all. The focus games will be Minish Cap, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks, and Four Swords Adventure because those are the ones Sophie has either played, or read the manga, or both. No other fandoms, please, we know very little about them. I'll be your host, though feel free to Truth-or-Dare the author. Now, for the characters. *summons them through Twilight Warp*

Tetra: Huh?

Darunia: Where are we, goro?

Vaati: *looks around, sees Emily* Hey! Long time, no see!

Em: Hi, Vaats! Good to see you! *enthusiastic handshake* Sorry about this, but you're in a ToD fic.

Vaati: *shrug* You get used to it after a while.

(A/N: In case you can't tell, Vaati and Emily were the leads in my first *coughCRAPPYcough* fanfic. Which I hated the moment I reread it, and never showed to anybody.)

Em: I should probably tell the others, right?

Vaati: Probably.

Em: *summons megaphone* Might want to cover your ears. *through megaphone* LISTEN UP, EVERYONE! MSFCATLOVER (aka Sophie) IS ATTEMPTING TO WRITE A TRUTH-OR-DARE FANFICTION! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALL HERE! PLEASE SETTLE DOWN!

Some one in the back: NEVER! *is zapped with Twili magic*

Em: *still through megaphone* AS THE HOST, I AM REQUIRED TO ENFORCE THE RULES!

Everyone else: *dead quiet*

Em: *lowers megaphone* Good. I'm Emily, Second-in-Command for this fic. You _will_ obey the rules, or I _will_ have to enforce them, as you have seen. I expect every single one of you has done at least one Truth-or-Dare fic before, probably more. In case you haven't, the rules are simple. Reviews send in either Dares, which are activities you must perform, or Truths, which are questions you must answer. Oh, and we have to keep some semblance of order in here. Which means none of this random-spazzing you were doing a second ago. Reviewers are allowed to insert themselves as characters, but only until the end of their set of ToDs. OCs last 'til the end of a chapter, with the exception of yours truly. You are not allowed to leave the studio, unless it is required for a Dare. Are there any questions?

Tetra: Why is there only one of me here?

Em: Because the author doesn't want to get involved in the Sheik Gender Issue Debate, so she only summoned one form of Princess Zelda. I assume you can transform into either of your other forms, right?

Tetra: Well, yea–

Em: Then we only need one of you. Next?

Ganondorf: Why am _I_ in my WW form?

Em: Because Sophie doesn't take you seriously. Be happy you're not a blue pig. Next?

Midna: I AM YOUR QUEEN! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?

Em: Do you want to take that up with the author? Because I don't.

Midna: *silence*

Em: Anything else?

Everyone: *silence*

Em: Good to know. Well, it's up to the reviewers now.

* * *

Em: So please Read and Review, or we'll have no where to go!

Oh, I don't know. I could have you and Vaati re-enact the final scene in that fic I never showed anyone.

Em: *facepalm* Oh please no...You hate it as much as we do!

Vaati: *vigorous nodding*

*cringe* True, but we have to keep the readers interested. I suppose I could ask my family, but they wouldn't be able to come up with good ones. It'd be things like, "Why didn't you do this?" or "Why are you evil?" So...yeah...You might have to go through that again.

Link: But...That was so _corny!_

Tetra: And we had to _watch!_

Link: And Zel and me only appeared in _two scenes!_

Tetra: Don't call me/us that.

Ow, my head hurts... Anyway, Read and Review, **_please!_**


	2. The First Dares

Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda, nor any people, places, or concepts therein.

So, we got some reviews-

*Relief sweeps through the studio*

-which means you don't have to act out any of my earlier writing. HOWEVER! Now you have to carry out the Truth-or-Dares!

Link:...Some one save us...

* * *

Em: HI! And welcome to the second installment of this Truth-or-Dare FanFiction. I'm your host, Emily.

Vaati: Thankfully, some Dares were sent in.

Em: So let's get started!

_First of all I agree WW Ganondorf IS lame. Anyway this DARE is for him. I dare Ganondorf to were a pink ballarina outfit and scream embarassing things like "I'm a pretty princess" and all that whatnot. Also he must bow to Vaati, call him king, and admit the simple truth that Vaati is 1,000,000X better then him and finally he must scream "VAATI RULES AND I'M A WHINY STUPID BABY."  
Love the whole truth or dare idea, i love it when i find them and i can't wait to see what happens in this one. Hope you update soon and also VAATI RULES!  
Y._

_-Everia_

Em:…Wow, Vaati, I think we've located _another_ of your fangirls!

Vaati: *incomprehensible muttering*

Link: Cheer up, man, this one only humiliates Ganon.

Ganondorf: *looks at Dare* Uh…

Vaati: *visibly happier* You know what? This might be fun. *zaps Ganondorf into a pink ballerina outfit* Skip while you're at it, pig-boy.

Ganondorf: *skips in a little circle muttering to himself*

Vaati: *gleefully* What was that?

Ganondorf: I'm a pretty princess. Vaati is a king. He is one-million times better than me.

Everyone: *snickering*

Vaati: And the last two.

Ganondorf: *grumbles* *bows to Vaati* VAATI RULES AND I'M A WHINY STUPID BABY!

Vaati: *grinning from ear to pointy ear: Excelent. Thanks Everia!

Tetra: As if he needed an ego boost…

Em: Moving on…

_I'll be keeping my eye on this one. Partially because I inspired it and am a god in all things I see._

_Ganondorf: As a way to piss Everia off, stab Vaati with your dual swords. In fact, do that with anyone who doesn't think your WW form doesn't deserve at least a little bit of badass cred for having dual swords.  
Every major girl that has interacted with Link: Catfight for Link's affections. Also, gang up on Ruto.  
Everyone: Go to a rave and go freaking crazy. I mean really off-the-wall stuff, here.  
Midna and Link: Make out, and then fight each other.  
Toon Link and Tetra: Make out, and then fight each other.  
Sheik: GO AWAY GENDER DEBATES! -attempts to stab Sheik- (This will lead to a fight scene between me and Sheik)  
Link: Play the Elegy of Emptiness and scare everyone with the statue's cold, dead, soulless, demonic face.  
I never said I was going to go easy on you, hehe._

_-keybladeboy_

Ganondorf: REVENGE! *stabs Vaati through the stomach*

Em: *pushes the two apart and heals Vaati* You okay?

Vaati: No, that hurt like hell.

Ganondorf: GOOD! *turns to rest of cast* ANYONE ELSE?

Everyone: *dead quiet*

Em: Next Dare. *reads it* Right. Tetra, Malon, Nabooru, Ruto...and the rest of you. Catfight for Link! * shoves them into the girls' dressing room and locks the door*

All boys: Aww…

Em: Too bad. Next…*reads it*…Oh dear…

Majora: *throws pies*

Link: *lets girls out of dressing room*

Ilia: RODIO! *rides Epona around the studio*

Midna: *summons an entire circus*

Em: ENOUGH! *Banishes circus, locks up Epona, makes all traces of pie disappear and gives everyone an electric shock* I TOLD YOU, WE WILL KEEP SOME SEMBLANCE OF ORDER, OR SO HELP ME GODDESSES…

Everyone: *shocked silence*

Em: *pats down hair* *sugar-sweet voice* Do we understand each other?

Everyone: *fervent nodding*

Em: Good. Next Dare.

Midna/Link: *kiss*

Vaati: *wolf-whistle*

Midna: *uses her hair-hand to throw Link against wall*

Link: *passes out* *automatic loose*

Em: And the next…*revives Link* *turns Link into "toon form"*

Link/Tetra: *kiss*

Aryll: *wolf-whistle*

Vaati: *pats Aryll on head*

Tetra: Sorry about this. *sticks dagger in Link's back*

Em: *revives Link* Sophie? I think you're best qualified to deal with this next one.

A Human girl materializes. She's short, pale with frizzy brown hair and freckles. This is me.

Me: *summons a Sheik separate from Tetra* s/he's _all_ yours. *sends Sheik to keybladeboy's studio* This one's a fake though. Erm…s/he's really an "it," I didn't give them any private parts of any type. *vanishes in a poof of purple smoke*

Vaati: *from behind Ganondorf* Is she gone?

Em: *sighs* Yes, the recovering fangirl is gone. You can come out now. Last Dare for this set.

Vaati: *creeps out from behind Ganondorf* *looks around nervously*

Link: *looks at Dare* But which form? I mean…I have a lot…

Em: Stay in that one. I've always wondered what the toon version of your "statue" would be…

Link: Okay…*pull out ocarina and plays the Elegy of Emptiness* *is engulfed by swirly green lights*

When Link steps out of the lights, he leaves behind a shell. It looks a little like his toon form. Except taller, with longer hair, a permanent leer and the whole body is as close to a triangle shape as it can be.

Everyone: *simultaneous shudder*

Em: *banishes the horrifying sight* Let's agree never to do something like that again. It looks like Link and Dark had a kid, than killed it.

Link/Dark: HEY!

Em: Moving on…

_Ok first i want my username to be Link's Twin...i hate momo15951...it dosnt sound as cool...anyway i dare Link to poke Vatti until Tetra hits Vatti...shell get it eventuly... you can mess with this or what ever just an idea._

_-momo15951_

Link: *pokes Vaati in the temple once*

Tetra: *slaps Vaati on the back of the head* That was easy.

_FINALLY, SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME WHO THINKS WW GANONDORF SUCKS! Whoever I ask dosen't bother answering or just shrugs. But thats not why I'm here, you should know that.  
Everyone: *Ties Ganondorf to a tree with UNBREAKABLE AUTHOR ROPE, blindfolds everyone and hands them baseball bats!* GO ON GUYS AND GALS, HIT THE PINATA!  
Vaati: Finish this sentence 'Chuck Norris loves ...'  
Link: *Gets kicked out a random window by me and lands in a room filled with Ganondorf and Link fangirls* Wow, what a coincidence, have fun fighting for your life dude.  
Tetra: Do you enjoy being a freak who is tanned and has dumb blonde hair?  
This should turn out humorous, very humorous indeed,  
MHWAHAHAHAHAHA-*starts coughing*_

_-Gamefreak1397_

Everyone: YEAH, PINATA! *go nuts beating Ganondorf to a bloody pulp*

Em: *revives Ganondorf* It's not that we like him, because we don't, he just happens to be a main character.

Vaati: Um…round-house kicking things?

Link: *muffled scream*

Em:…I'll bring him back when this set of Dares is over. I'm not actually allowed to interfere with the fans…

Tetra: If _you_ lived on a boat your entire life, you'd be _at least_ as dark as me. *draws dagger, still coated in blood* *menacing voice* And is there something _wrong_ with being blonde?

Em: *summons Link*

Link's clothes are in shreds and he's gasping for breath.

Link: WHY THE _HELL_ DIDN'T YOU DO THAT EARLIER?

Em: *gives him a light zap to calm him down* Can't, it's in my contract. *summons piece of paper and waves it in Link's face*

Link: *tries to grab contract, but it disappears in a puff of purple smoke*

Vaati: *eyes widen* *whisper* She's still here…

Em: You need to get over your fear of the author, Vaats. In the mean time, that's all the dares we have for now. See you next time, everybody!

* * *

I realize I didn't _actually_ have them do all of keybladeboy's Dare, but having them attempt to wreck the studio is so much more fun.

Em: *drags Ruto's corpse out of the girl's dressing room* What do I do with this?

*sigh* She's a main character, so we have to revive her.

Tetra: *pats the Ruto-hating author on the back* There, there. We _all _feel your pain on this one. Especially Link.

Link: *runs into the boy's dressing room and locks the door.*

Em: Please Read and Review. *revives Ruto*


	3. Warning: Much Torture Inside sorta

Disclaimer: THIS IS BORING! I do not own Legend of Zelda, nor any people, places, or concepts therein. I _do_ own Emily, my sense of humor, and...All other un-claimed things mentioned in this chapter! Yeah!

Gods, this is fast! I finished my homework, and then I was checking my messages, and then I thought "I'm _bored!_ There's got to be something I can-Hey, my ToD got some new reviews!"

...And here we are.

* * *

Em: *appears humming to herself* What? Oh, sorry. The author's listening to Ghost by Daughtry. Consequently, I have that same song stuck in my head. Should we get to the dares?

Everyone: *look up expectantly*

_That didn't take long. Just like when I was starting out. Oh, the memories...  
Link and Ganondorf: Fight scene. (Actually write it, msf.)  
Vaati: Why is your last form a giant eyeball? That's lame. I wanted a sword fight against you at the end of Minish Cap, not pathetically weak eyeballs.  
Happy Mask Salesman: Go scare the crap out of everyone.  
Author (not Emily): Do you have any special powers?  
Tingle: Become a ninja.  
Ruto: Become a pirate  
Tingle and Ruto: Fight each other._

_-keybladeboy_

Me: *appears, randomly mini-ized so that I can sit on Emily's head* I'm just going to cut-and-paste the battle between Link and Ganon from _The White Wolf_. Technically, I already wrote it. *preens*

* * *

The King of Evil lunged, sweeping his sword out. Link dodged, landing an easy hit on Ganon in the process. Midna watched in shock as she suddenly spotted the change. Ganondorf's eyes flickered around the room, while Link's stayed locked on his opponent. It was as though the concentration levels between them had switched.

Another lunge, another backslice. No wonder Ganon hadn't attacked before; the hero was not just smaller, he was faster, more agile. The dance of blades had changed, still just as terrifying, but now much more dangerous, steadily speeding up. Lunge, slash. Lunge slash. Lunge-slash…

The King of Evil kicked off from the ground, practically flying through the air, blade aimed for Link's head. Link jumped to the right, and gasped as Ganon changed direction in mid air. The hero dodged again, just before his opponent collided with him.

Burning pain shot up Link's leg. Gritting his teeth, the boy stared at his leg. The glowing sword had barely _scratched_ him, and it felt like he'd been sliced from knee to ankle? Somewhere in the distance, Ganon was laughing. _Well, this isn't good._

…

The hero was worried. Ganon seemed to have gotten a second wind, while he himself was tiring. If this became a matter of one outlasting the other, Link knew he would lose.

_Just one thing left to try…_Link raised the Master Sword, and stood his ground. Ganon lunged.

The impact slid both of them towards the throne a few feet. The two swords met half way between the opponents. The blades quivered as each barer pressed on his weapon with all his strength. Link felt the swords begin to inch towards his neck. The King of Evil loomed over him, grinning.

******"****And so the hero falls. When you fight only for yourself, you'll find you win more often."**

Link glanced over to the side. Midna was practically vibrating with tension and worry…Cal was sitting up, eyes filled with silent pleading…Somewhere in Kakariko, the children and Ilia were waiting for this adventure to finish so they could go home…He looked back to his opponent.

"You're wrong. When you fight for others, you find a strength you never knew you had." Ganon stumbled back in shock as the blades collided sharply with his chest plate. The hero darted forwards, fire in his eyes. "This one's for the kids, wrenched from their homes," Link muttered, slashing the King of Evil's right arm, "This one's for the parents, caught in worry," _left arm_. "This one's for the Twilight Realm, and everyone you cursed," _right leg._ "This one's for the three lights you stole,"_ left leg._ Ganon fell to his knees and stared at the hero. They were now the exact same height. The Gerudo's eyes were filled with a deep burning hatred.

Link drew back the Master Sword. "And this is for the lives that have been twisted and ruined by your acts." The blade sunk into the hole in Ganondorf's armor, and punched another one in the back.

The King of Evil screamed.

* * *

Me: You're not the only one who loves loopholes, KBB. Cailin ("Cal")'s my OC, for those of you who haven't read _TWW_. It's a retelling.

Em: Stop promoting your other story.

Me: Cal _could_ have gotten this job. I don't think you're in a position to tell me what I can and can't do.

Em: N-next!

Vaati: *whisper* Do I have to?

Me: I can go away, if that's what you're worried about, Wind Boy. *grins when I say his title (sorta. Midna Hytwilian made that one up) then vanishes in the puff of purple smoke.*

Vaati: *peeks out from behind Midna* R-really? *doesn't see author* *sigh of relief* Okay. I wanted to show off my sword fighting skills too, but the Light Force had other plans. I'll admit, I got a little high off the power, and maybe went a little nuts…Believe me. If I'd remembered my original back-up plan, you wouldn't have all these people who say I cheated in that tournament…*sniff*

Em: Aww…*hugs Vaati*

Me: *invisible sits on Emily's head (yes, I was there the entire time!)* Coming back for the next two Dares.

Vaati: eep! *goes back to hiding behind people*

Me: *reappears* Right. Next.

HMS: *normal creepy grin and clichéd evil-villain hand rubbing* hehheh! My very existence...*twists head around in a full circle*

Everyone: *hides in their respective dressing rooms*

HMS: ...is terrifying, no?

Em: *zaps him unconscious through keyhole*

Everyone: *slowly fill studio again, with obvious "Are you sure it's safe?" looks on their faces*

Tingle: clearly thought ahead and canged into a ninja suit*

Ruto: *also thought ahead (WHAT?) and is wearing an eye-patch, pants, and a very mermaid-like sea-shell bikini top*

Me: Wait, Ruto's wearing clothes? Really? REALLY? *throws a little mini-ized party (just me and the Minish) on Emily's head in celebration*

Ruto: *sits on Tingle*

Tingle: *can't move, therefore can't fight, therefore automatic loose*

Me: Finding a way around each of these fights will be my personal ongoing amusement! *giggles like Midna* On my dare, Emily is actually one of my OCs, not an avatar of me. So we are different people. And yes, I can alter reality in this studio and for my OCs if I want to. Moving on…*vanishes for real this time* *yes, with the puff of purple smoke*

_Dare Ruto to renounce her love for Link.  
Dare Navi to be quiet for more than 5 minutes.  
Truth ask Ganandorf if he is a pedo (I mean Zelda's only like ten in most of these games)_

_-king3809_

Ruto: Do I have to?

Midna: Just do what I do when there's a romance Dare: lie. It's a Dare, not a Truth.

Ruto: Okay! I _don't _love, adore, obsess over, or stalk Link!

Midna: …That might have been going too far…

Navi: *reads her Dare* Fine. I am in Ocarina, you know. I just like to make little ringing noises. Start the timer.

Em: *summons timer and sets it for five minutes* Started! In the mean time…

Ganondorf: I am not in _love_ with her! There's a difference between kidnapping and affection.

_Hope you had fun seeing Ganondorf in a ballarina costume because I sure did. Anyway another dare that humiliates Ganondorf(YAY!). I dare all the girls to give Ganondorf A REALLY BAD MAKOVER. Makeup, Lipstick, the whole nine yards and he must dress in a really, really, really frilly, girley dress that is pink and white. Also while dressed as this to make Link feel better Ganondorf must scar Ruto for life by KISSING her until she faints. And finally to get revenge for the whole stabbing thing, for one hour Ganondorf must be tied up and Vaati is allowed to torture him anyway he sees fit, so get creative Vaati! Also Ganondorf must still be wearing the dress when Vaati tortures him.  
Great first chapter and be expected to get reveiw from my sister. Don't worry Vaati she's on your side too and Ganondorf you better be scared.  
Again good chapter.  
Y._

_-Everia_

Girls: *pull out their make-up kits and swarm around the Gerudo king*

**2min later…**

*little ringing sound*

Navi: And that's five.

Girls: *back away from Ganondorf*

They really didn't hold back. Mascara _and_ kohl, eye-shadow, blush, silver lipstick…Tetra donated one of Zelda's dresses from Ocarina and they somehow shoved him into it. Ganondorf took on his Twilight Princess form at some point, and someone let down his hair so that they could pull it back into a traditional Gerudo ponytail. He looked, all in all, like an utter idiot.

Malon: *shove Ruto forward* Pucker up, pig boy.

Ganondorf: *grimaces, then grabs Ruto and starts kissing her*

Ruto: *goes through the five stages: shock, denial, anger, dizziness, unconsciousness. From lack of air, you know*

Ganondorf: *drops Ruto and wipes his mouth* I think she drooled on me!

Vaati: *waltzes forwards with a big grin on his face* What was it you said the other day, Ganon? Oh yes, REVENGE! *magically ties Ganondorf to a chair*

Over the next hour, Vaati used fire-orbs to burn Ganondrof, levitation to drop him on his head (repeatedly) various blade spells, and once attempted a one-man reenactment of the piñata Dare. When he got bored with that, Our purple Wind Mage moved on to testing new spells and potions on Ganon, finishing it all off by forcing slightly enhanced Black Chu Jelly down his throat.

Em: …You are one sadistic little mage.

Link: Black Chu Jelly's not so bad though…

Ganondorf: *grabs stomach* THE PAIN!

Vaati: This one doesn't break down. Think constant migraine pain. In your stomach.

Everyone: *sympathetic wince*

Em: And that's all for this chapter. See you next time, readers!

* * *

*heals Ganondorf* Sorry all Ganon-haters (myself included), but he's sorta part of the main cast.

Em: Please Read and Review. Remember, it'll actually show up in the story!

Ganondorf: Sadly...Why doesn't anyone like me?


	4. TWO REVIEWS!

Disclaimer: See previous

HEY EVERYONE, IT'S FER-HI-DAY!

Em: ...Why are you talking weird?

Because the weekend's _finally_ here, and I'm exited! On with the fic!

Malon: Oh dear goddesses...

* * *

Vaati: Are we safe?

Em: *sighs* Yes, barely. The author got _two_ reviews.

Vaati: *cringe*

Em: My thoughts exactly. Still, the show must go on, so…

_Ok, I have a dare: Link is to turn into his TP form, and Vaati is to be the same height as TP Link and must have the same build as TP Link, and they are to strip off their shirts and wrestle each other in a mud puddle until one of them final submits to the other. You can play around with it a little bit and I don't care who submits to who, and I love this fic, keep going_

_S._

_-__Everia_

Somewhere far away, the author fainted. After a few minutes, she came to, and warped to the studio.

Me: *echoing voice* INCOMING!

Vaati: *disappears into the crowd*

Me: *appears, still mini-ized, on Emily's head* Sorry, I wanted to witness this. First hand. Now. *claps hands, warping Link and Vaati to the front of the room, and switching their styles to TP*

Vaat/Link: *look very puzzled*

Me: Okay boys, we all want to see this! Shirts off, fight on *blows random whistle*

Vaati shuddered, but still tossed his cap and cape to the side and began working on his belt. Link just slid out of his tunic, with the ease of much practice.*

Em: *raises eyebrow at Link*

Link: What? I have to change into different tunics _hundreds_ of times. You don't do that without learning how to get out of one quick.

Vaati: *has finished undoing his belt, and slides the tunic off relatively easily after that*

Me: *faints again*

Em: *points to Vaati and Link* Try.

Vaati/Link: *shrug and take up starting positions*

Before anything else could happen, the boys were tackled by their various fangirls. Fortunately, the author came to again, just in time to save the boys. Their shirts, hats and Vaati's cape, however, were beyond help. She summoned them new ones.

Me: I think I deserve thanks.

Link: I don't. You decided to do a ToD, so technically, it's your fault.

Vaati: *carefully places his hat back on his head* *mutters* At least we didn't have to do the Dare. That's something.

Me: Yes, but in order to satisfy people, I will have to post links to pictures of the two of you topless. Most likely. If I can find them…

Vaati/Link: WHY?

Me: I still have to find them, idiots. *turns to camera* They'll be at the end of the chapter. ON WITH THE DARES!

_I see you got my sister's reveiw, good one sis! To answer your question Ganondorf no one likes you because your LAME!_

_Anyway a truth for Ruto. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU AND LINK WILL END UP TOGETHER? Really, you're lame and you're crazy, no way Link would end up with you. You would be better of with some one lame and creepy like you like Ganondorf or Tingle which gives me an idea for a dare._

_Tingle and Ganondorf must fight for Ruto whoever passes out first looses and the winner MUST MARRY RUTO, which means Link won't have to worry about her anymore.  
Also wether he wins or not, I dare anyone who hates Tingle to shove him in a bottle since he thinks he's a fairy.  
Again good job on this fic.  
Y._

_-Everia_

Ruto: *starry eyes* Because we're _**meant to be…**_

Link: *gags*

Tingle: *floats out of reach on his little balloon. Floats too high, passes out from lack of O2, looses, and slowly floats back down*

Me: *points to Ganondorf and Ruto* You are now husband and wife. *rings materialize on their fingers*

Ruto: *runs into girls' dressing room crying*

Me: And the last Dare goes to…dang. Who thinks they can do it without making a bloody mess?

Link: *steps forward* May I?

Me: *mini-bow*

Link: *walks up to Tingle, and bottles him in one, quick movement*

Everyone: How'd you…?

Link: Same way I bottled the Deku Princess (A/N in Majora's Mask you actually do this. And she's taller than Tingle.)

Em: And that's all we've got for today. See you next time.

* * *

And here are those links:

deviantart(DOT)com/?qh=§ion=&q=Vaati+shirtless#/d1y5pus

deviantart(DOT)com/?qh=§ion=&q=Link+shirtless#/dtk7km

...Yes. Just replace the (DOT) with .

Link: *facepalm* WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

Because I had to. Oh, and it was fun.

Em: *sigh* Please leave a Reviews. We need Reviews. Without Reviews, this fic cannot go on.

Kafei: What's with the speech?

Em: We only got _two_ Reviews last time! _Two! AND SOPHIE DOESN'T "STOP WRITING" SHE JUST FINDS OTHER FODDER!_

Kafei: _..._A little strung-up, are we?

Anju: *holds her fingers about an inch apart* Just a leetal.

**EDIT: Those [link]s didn't work when I went back to check them. So I got new ones.**

**Vaati:** **animemother(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/Gift-For-Keiko-2-117839908**

**Link: hylianknight246(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/TP-Link-Shirtless-49651798**


	5. So There!

Disclaimer: see previous

Yes, it's only been one day. And yes, there's only one Dare. But you know what? I had fun and wanted to get it out there. So there!

* * *

Em: *falls from ceiling, Sheik-style* …Because the author wanted me to, that's why. *rubs her knees* Dunno how s/he did that so many times…ow…

Vaati: Do we have any Dares?

Em: Yes. So let's get (OW!) started.

_Sorry I didn't review last chapter, I just couldn't think of any dares. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!  
Authoress: Stop half-assing every single one of your dares. Actually put some seriously good descriptions in your fic. A 2 line quip does not a good response make.  
Vaati and Em: Sing a karaoke duet.  
Ruto: Eat this. -lays out a platter of sushi-  
Ganondorf and Majora: Hold some kind of competition. Author decides what you guys do.  
Link: Go to an anime convention dressed as a female anime character.  
Zelda: Go to an anime convention dressed as a male anime character._

_-keybladeboy_

Somewhere far away, the author stuck her tongue out at the screen.

Em: Fine. *summons karaoke machine* Sophie's been waiting for an excuse to make some one sing this song anyway.

(A/N music: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=huelbch4wn4)

Vaati and Emily stepped up onto a stage with bright red faces. They picked up a pair of microphones and swallowed hard as the music started.

Em:

(chorus) This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like it's forever. Then live the rest of our life, just not together.

(1st verse) Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life. Can't get no love without sacrifice. If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well…Mm, a lil' bit of heaven, but a lil' bit of hell.

Vaati:

(chorus) This is the hardest story that I've ever told. No hope or love or glory, happy endings gone forevermore. And I feel as if I'm wasted. And I've wasted every day…

Em:

(chorus) This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like it's forever. Then live the rest of our life, just not together.

Vaati:

(2nd verse) Two o' clock in the morning, something's on my mind. Can't get no rest, keep walking around. If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong…I can get to my sleep, I can think that we just carried on.

(chorus) This is the hardest story that I've ever told. No hope or love or glory, happy endings gone forevermore. And I feel as if I'm wasted. And I've wasted every day…Oh I feel as if I'm wasted. And I feel as if I'm wasted. And I've wasted every day…

Em:

(chorus) This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like it's forever. Then live the rest of our life, just not together.

Vaati: Little bit of love. Little bit of love.

Em: Lil' bit o' love (X7)

Vaati: Mm-hm, little bit of love.

Em: Lil' bit o' love (X4)

(Then they go back and forth for a little while before Emily continues with the "lil' bit o' love" while Vaati goes back to "And I feel as if I'm wasted")

Together:

(chorus) This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like it's forever. Then live the rest of our life, just not together. This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like it's forever. Then live the rest of our life, just not together.

Em: This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending.

Vaati/Em: *bow their heads as the lights go down, then race off the stage*

Me: *dabs her eyes* Beautiful. I got hooked on this song in chorus. *vanishes with puff of purple smoke*

Ruto: *walks out in a kimono, plops herself down and calmly eats the sushi with flawless chopstick control* It's not cannibalism, any more than a shark eating tuna is cannibalism, so stop saying that, jerks.

Me: *puffs in* I've wanted to know this for a while, WHO WAS BETTER LOOKING BEFORE THEY TURNED EVIL AND LET THEMSELVES GO!

Ganondorf: *holds up picture of himself as a little boy.*

The Ganon in the picture is actually cute, with pudgy little boy cheeks, and a big grin. He's absolutely filthy, and his hair is mussed. On either side of him, Kumme and Kotake have doting smiles plastered across their faces. He's making a little "V" with his fingers.

Everyone: Aww…

Majora: *smirks before being surrounded by swirling smoke*

When the smoke cleared, everyone found themselves looking at a young woman, maybe in her twenties, in an outfit like Midna's minus the cloak. She has slightly yellowish skin, like aged parchment, and just-beneath-shoulder-length blood-red hair that was pulled back in cornrows on the top of her head, but allowed to hang loose and tangle on the back. She's about 5' tall, and slender. She has the same, disquieting green eyes as the mask, but they're softened by her thick lashes.

Majora: *flips her hair* I think I win. Ikana trump everyone when it comes to appearance.

Ganondorf: *staring at her* You're a girl?

Majora: *eyeroll* Yes. Godesses, did no one _listen_ to me? I still _had_ a feminine voice in my final form. Just because I was muscled, doesn't make me _male_.

Em: Well, you didn't look very feminine…

Majora: And Vaati's not very attractive in his final form. Are you going to tell me that changes what he is normally?

Em: *blush*

Majora: Exactly.

Me: So…Yeah. Majora wins. Moving on…Hmm…I only read/watch so much anime/manga…Which, of course limits our choices greatly, right? *summons two boxes and hands them to Link and Zelda* Go put these on. Oh, and Zelda? Trim and braid your hair. Like this. *slips her a picture*

Zelda looked at the picture, then made her way to the girls' dressing room, muttering to herself. Link shrugged, and headed into the boys' dressing room.

**2min later…**

Me: Okay guys, we all want to see this. Come on out!

Zelda: *steps out of the girls' dressing room, still muttering to herself* *dressed like Edward Elric* Happy?

(A/N On Fullmetal Alchemist, I'm only on book four of the manga, and episode five of the original. No spoilers, please)

Me: Very. Yours isn't the funny one, though. HEY, LINK! GET OUT HERE!

Link: *from inside boys' dressing room* DO I HAVE TO?

Zelda: May I?

Me: *bows from waist* Certainly.

Zelda: *bangs on door to boys' dressing room* Link! I had to dress up at the freakin' _FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!_ Get your butt out here!

Link: *slowly opens the door and steps out* *is dresses like Karin (from Chibi Vampire)*

(A/N Again, not very far in, no spoilers please)

Me: *snaps pictures of them* Excellent. Now, off to the con' with you. Let's see how many of your fans recognize you! *warps them out* Oh, and KBB? Is this descriptive enough for you?

* * *

We'll bring them back at the beginning of the next chapter. Whenever that may be...

Em: You're evil.

Perhaps. In the mean time, Read and Review. Link and Zelda suffer less if you do...

Em: If only because the sooner she gets Reviews, the sooner the next chapter gets up, the less time there is for them to risk being recognised.


	6. Longest Chappy Yet

Disclaimer: see previous

Okay! *claps her hands, summoning Link and Zelda back to the studio*

Link: *still in costume, which is in near-perfect condition* *marches up and grabs the author by the collar* FOUR DAYS! FOUR DAYS YOU LEFT US THERE!

...You might want to back off, Hero. The only reason I'm getting this up now, and not this weekend, is because I've been home sick all day.

Link: *drops her and wipes his hands on his dress (A/N snicker...)*

Zelda? What happened to you?

Zelda: *has lost the coat, is missing a boot, and her hair is a mess* *gasping* The fanboys thought it was _cute!_

Link: *removes red contact lenses and wig* ...Embarrassing as these are, I suppose they helped hide my identity...

*ahem*?

Link: This is still your fault.

Link/Zelda: *go into their respective dressing rooms to change*

* * *

_Yes, that's descriptive enough. Now keep that up for the rest of the chapters and you'll do really well. (I'll try and endorse your fic for my last chapter, get some more readers and reviewers for you.)  
Ruto: Fine, eat this. -lays out a plate of Zora sushi-  
Vaati and young Majora: Go on a date and get into all sorts of wacky shenanigans and hi-jinks that ends with a happy ending.  
Everyone that isn't the Author or Sophie: Force Author and Sophie to watch the date in its entirety so that they can't do anything about it. (This is assuming you're both Vaati fangirls.)  
Saria: Hi.  
Everyone: Two words: Toga. Party.  
Ruto and Tingle: You two clean up.  
Saria: You're the queen of Hyrule for one day. What do you do?_

_-keybladeboy_

Ruto: *looks at plate and visibly pales* Oh…I suppose I should have seen this coming, huh? *slowly eats each piece* *gags* I think I'm going to be sick… *dashes for girl's dressing room*

Me: *puffs in* I'm sure she'll be fine. Reading ahead… *yanks list out of Emily's hands and hovers out of reach* I'm going to assume when you say "Author" you mean "Emily," since Author is _my_ title in this story, but as the host Emily has sorta-but-not-really the same job as Author from _your_ ToD. And I'm _so_ not going through that alone.

Em: *eyes widen* Suddenly, I'm wishing I read ahead…

Vaati/Majora: *are warped to Hyrule field, under a starry sky, with a full moon*

**In the studio…**

Emily and the author were tossed into a magic-proof room with a television, broadcasting LIVE from…Navi, who was tailing Vaati and Majora with a camera!

Em: …I hate you.

Me: I can still hire some one else for your job, you know.

**Back with our "free" villains…**

Vaati: *looks around* Well…this is boring.

Majora: *yawns and plays with a braid* Wanna go wreck something?

**Studio…**

Em: Hey, Link? You might want to do something about this…

Me: Shush, let them have their fun. I'll set everything back to normal once we get out of here.

Em: Are you alright?

**And back…**

Majora comes running into the town square. Several buildings are in flames behind her. Statues are scattered around town.

Majora: *looks at statue of a little boy running* HEY, VAATI! BET I CAN DISTROY MORE THINGS THAN YOU BEFORE DAWN!

Vaati: *from somewhere off in the distance* YOU'RE ON!

**Now let's skip forward a few hours…**

The sun is rising, revealing Vaati and Majora, sitting on a ledge. He's still in his Demon form, while she's streaked with soot, dirt and blood. Majora's grinning from ear to ear. Vaati's doing the equivalent.

Vaati: So, I destroyed eight villages, three caravans and set fire to a forest. You?

Majora: Burned two villages to the ground, murdered twenty-one people, and successfully ruined fifteen relationships. *licks her lips* So far.

Vaati: So far?

Majora: Wait for it…

The moon came speeding over the horizon, and quickly vanished into the distance. A split second later, there was a flare of light…then darkness.

Majora: *clapping* And for the grand finale, the moon punches a hole through the sun, effectively extinguishing it. Bravo. Good show. I win, you owe me two hundred Rupees.

Vaati: …Damn…*changes back and pulls out his wallet*

**And back to everyone else…**

Link: *yanks open door* WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?

Me: *points to screen* Vaati lost a bet.

Midna: *facepalm* No, I think he means, why did it just randomly turn to night outside?

Me: *points to screen again* Vaati lost a bet.

Midna: …What kind of bet?

Em: The destructive kind.

Me: But, like I said, I'll set everything right again. Just let the Wind Mage finish paying Majora…

On screen, Vaati dropped a red rupee into the Ikana's hand, then threw up his in a "There!" gesture. The author warped them back to the studio, then fixed up the various spots of extreme destruction (including the sun) on Hyrule.

Me: And, incase anyone's wondering, yes, I'm still a fangirl. But I'm recovering, and can now happily settle for shipping couples. And Em's been over Vaati for a while, right Em?

Em: No comment. *glares daggers at Majora*

Me: Moving on…

Saria: *waves* Hi!

Everyone: *looks at each other* *pictures each other in togas* Um…

Me: I think they'd all have to be drunk and/or high before that would ever happen, and be enjoyable to watch. I'll skip this now, and save it for a later date, 'kay?

Ruto/Tingle: *point to each other* HOW?

Saria proceeded to play around the castle for the next day, scaring several servants.

_Okay here are my dares  
Navi: try to makeout with Link emphasis on try.  
Midna; kick Zant in the balls and then use his pointy head to stab Ganondorf through the heart and now with your newly made hammer of failure villans bash Tingle on the head.  
Vatti: slap the author in the face and don't run away  
Tetra: say pirates are lame sisies infront of everyone with a megaphone  
Saria: fight Ruto, Mallon, and Zelda over who gets to marry OoT Link  
Ganondorf: give youself an atomic wedgie and with your underwear over your head sing take me out to the ballgame in a girly voice while doing the running man.( Saw it on TDWT)  
Tatl: mud wrestle with Navi with your vails off_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: Um…*is caught in jar by Link*

Link: NO.

Midna: With pleasure.

Midna kicked Zant, causing him to double over, yanked the helmet off his head, turned around and jammed it into Ganondorf's chest as hard as she could. Then she pulled it out, and brought it down on Tingle, trapping him inside.

Vaati: *shudder* Why me? *slowly walks forward, lightly slaps Sophie across the face, then goes invisible on everyone*

Me: *blink* Wow…and he's such a care-free, destructive guy usually…Was I really that scary when I was in Rabid-Fangirl-Mode?

Everyone: Yes.

Tetra: *smirk* Pirates are lame sissies in front of everyone with a megaphone. There. And I said it, and I didn't break the rules.

Me: Zap her anyway, Em.

Em: *shrugs (still in a bad mood after the "date")* *zaps Tetra*

Tetra: Why?

Em: Um…Because you know what they meant. Yes.

Ganondorf: Physically impossible.

Link: And since when has that ever been a problem in our world? *gives him the wedgie*

Majora: *kicks him, like Midna kicked Zant* Now SING!

Ganondorf: *winces* Erm…Take me out to–*is kicked again by Majora and faints*

Majora: *snorts* Pussy.

Tatl: "Vails"? What "vails"?

Navi: *is released from bottle* I think he means our auras.

Tatl: *blushes* Oh. *drops her glow*

Navi: *drops her glow*

**Pause…**

Tatl: This is embarrassing…

Navi: Let's get this over with.

And the mud-wrestling began. I'd describe it for you, if I could see past the boys. And somehow, I doubt most of them can see anything either.

Me: PERVERTS! LET ME DO MY JOB!

Vaati: *uses wind to shove everyone out of the way. Holds Navi, coated in dirt, above his head* WE HAVE A WINNER!

Navi/Tatl: *pull their glows back up, and fly off towards the girls' dressing room to take showers*

Me: Dammit…THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, KBB!

_dares  
Make King Zora (OoT) go on a diet and exercise plan.  
Ganon fight Link from MM and Link must use the three transformation masks and fierce deity mask.  
Tingle steal a great fairy mask from the happy mask man._

_-king3809_

Me: *warps everyone to the royal chamber, because she can't be bothered to bring him here*

King Zora: *inhales spinach* *starts doing jumping jacks while making his "moeep" noise*

No one bothered to tell the over-weight fish how close he was getting to the edge of the ledge, until…

King Zora: Help! I've fallen, and I can't get up!

Majora: Your fault, fatty. Try push-ups. *warps back to studio*

Me: *warps everyone back to studio* Ganon! Link! Do this quick, I'm getting tired.

Ganondorf: *turns into pig-Ganon and charges*

Link: *dodges, while shoving the Fierce Deity Mask onto his face*

Ganon: *charges*

FDL: *drops to the floor and shoves the Double Helix Sword into the glowing crack on Ganon's stomach, smiting him with both the glowy-magic and blade*

Me: If you want better than that, Dare me when I'm healthy.

Tingle: Tingle-tingle-koolimpah! *kicks the HMS in the back, over balancing him* *fishes through the bag, eventually finding the Great Fairy Mask, which Link got rid of as soon as possible* Now Tingle can be a fairy! Yeah! *does a little dance*

Majora: *whacks him over the head with a wooden shield* Damn, it feels good to have hands again. Next time, I'll bring my whips.

Em: Okay…that's all for now, see you all next time! *goes off to sulk*

* * *

...I think Majora's helping to bring out my violent side...

Vaati: *grinning* *whispers to Shadow Link* She's bringing out _everyone's_ violent side. I haven't had a good rampage in years!

Shadow: Good for you, man.

Vaati: What?

Shadow: Oh, nothing. Just, well, you had a chance with a _really_ hot girl, and did nothing...well, _with_ her. And that doesn't seem like you, that's all.

Vaati: Let me give you a piece of advice: never hook up with another villain. It never ends well.

Em: Read and Review, please!


	7. 42

Disclaimer: See chap.1

HEY!HEY!HEY!GUESSWHAT,GUESSWHAT!

Em: _Breathe_, girl!

*deep, gasping breath* I DREW A PIC OF MAJORA! AND I WAS SO SCARED, BECAUSE IT WAS MY FIRST TIME DRAWING CORNROWS, BUT IT CAME OUT REALLY GOOD AND I'VE BEEN WAITING _ALL DAY_ TO TELL YOU GUYS! http:/msfcatlover(DOT)/#/d30c9sa

Shadow: "All day"? When did you draw this picture?

Um...*nervous laugh* Well, I started at 1:30...

Em: p.m.?

a.m.

Em: ...It's official. You're insane.

I thought we established that a long time ago. ON WITH THE FIC!

* * *

_Oh no, you're sick? That's terrible...And now I don't care anymore. DARES!  
Vaati: You seemed to be speaking from experience when you told Shadow Link not to hook up with villains. Care to elaborate? (Translation: Elaborate or else.)  
Majora: Wow, you're pretty good at destroying stuff. Tip of the hat to you. (Translation: Make everyone sandwiches or else.)  
Tingle: Go fight Captain Falcon. (Translation:...Actually, no need for a translation here.)_

_-keybladeboy_

Vaati: *rubs the back of his neck* You…heard that, huh? Well, at one point Veran and I attempted a "normal" relationship…

Veran: It ended with me kicking him out of my house.

Vaati: The problem with fellow villains is we're too much alike. And women, even ones like Veran, always want more from me than I'm willing to give. Period.

Majora: *evil grin* Okay. *snaps her fingers, and a tray full of sandwiches appears above her hand*

Tingle: OOH! SNACKS! *snatches one, and eats it in about two seconds flat*

**Pause…**

Tingle: Tingle doesn't feel so good…*keels over dead*

Majora: *plucks a leaf out of one of the sandwiches and fans herself with it* Growing up in the desert certainly has its advantages.

Link: NO ONE TOUCH THE SANDWICES!

Majora: *shrug* I got my laugh. *platter and snacks vanish* *points to Tingle* I don't think he can fight like this, do you? And we all know he'd just get pounded into the ground anyway.

_awesome job on the dares you did great especially since your feeling sick.  
this time I have some truths for you.  
Navi do you love Link like every other girl in OoT?  
Tatl why do you think Skullkid ditched you?  
Link which girl besides Zelda do you like the most?  
Ganondorf why are you evil?  
Zant why do you sound so stupid ?  
Majora what was it like being stuck in a mask?  
Vaati why are you such a pussy when the author is around ?  
Author how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?_

_-Kozan the Darkainnian Kokiri_

Navi: He's like a son to me! I don't know where that boy would be without me!

Link: On a date, most likely.

Navi: Shut up.

Tatl: Well, _then_ I didn't know. But now I do. _She_ *points accusingly at Majora* possessed him!

Majora: *smirks* Well, actually I couldn't do that fully when he was awake. But the brat didn't take much convincing; he already thought you were annoying and controlling.

Tatl: *gasp* TAKE THAT BACK!

Majora: Oh? And what are you going to do, you little ball of glowing fluff?

Link: *bottles Tatl* Can we avoid this argument?

Majora: *pouts* You always ruin my fun! Answer your Truth, then!

Link: …I like all of them equally. It's the only way I could ever have survived _any_ of my adventures.

Ganondorf: I blame puberty.

Everyone: *WTF? looks*

Ganondorf: I was answering my question!

Zant: *points at the reviewers* MEANIE!

Midna: I poked him in the soft spot when he was a baby. Our mothers never spoke again.

Zant: *points at Midna* MEANIE!

Majora: Not too bad, actually. I could still slip out as a spirit, though I didn't have any powers in that form. And possession was a neat experience, though I still prefer any of my forms to using some one else's.

Vaati: *glares* Clearly you do not and never have had stalker fangirls. It is not a nice experience, and has scarred several individuals in this studio, I among them. Call me paranoid, but I still fear for my life around them…

Me: *puffs in, blocking Vaati from view* *raises her finger above her head* Forty-two! *puffs out*

Vaati: *hiding behind Emily's boot in Minish form* I-is she gone?

Em: *sighs* Yes, Vaats, she's gone.

* * *

And...That's it. I'm down off my sugar high...*mopes*

As you can probably tell, I over-thought Majora before writing this, so she might just be more more developed than some of my OCs...

Please Read and Review.


	8. Here's Your &ing Chapter

Disclaimer: see chap.1

I wanted to get this up Sunday, so I could make more 42 jokes, but...something came up then (don't remember what...weird...) and I couldn't. So _then_ I was going to get it up Monday, and make belated 42 jokes, but Mom kicked me off the one computer in our house before I could finish, and wouldn't let me on for the rest of the day. So now it's Tuesday, and I suppose I could still make belated 42 jokes...but frankly I'm tired, and they wouldn't be very funny after two days.

Em: ...Why were you going to be making 42 jokes to begin with?

101010 is 42 in binary code. On with the fic, because I've already put an ungodly number of hours into this chapter, and it's $%&#ing going up tonight!

* * *

_Great job on this so far, it's great. Anyway, time for dares that torture Ganondorf, yay!  
First, I dare Ganondorf(OoT form please) to drink from a toilet. No reason for this dare, I just want him to.  
Second, I dare Ganondorf to spend a day giving the mothers of Hyrule with babies to four year olds a break by baby sitting.  
Finally a dare my sister and I REALLY want to see which involves my OC Ruby from my fic Fate is a Strange Mistress. I really would prefer you read Fate(only 3 chapts. right now) so you get an idea on Ruby and Ganondorf's relationship since it would take too long to describe it.  
Anyway I dare Ruby and Nabooru to have an all out brawl with Ganondorf, with Ruby and Nabooru winning and Ruby as your creator, if you do get to do this dare, go all out and don't hold back, make him wish he was never born!  
Again good work on this fic.  
Y._

_-Everia_

Ganondorf: *cringes before heading into the boys' restroom*

Me: *puffs in* Sorry for the wait, sorry for the misunderstanding. Here you go.

* * *

It was really a simple situation. He had bragged there was no one in Gerudo Valley who could best him in combat. They hated him, and had taken it as a challenge. The arrangements had been made before he had time to argue.

Ganondorf stood at one end of the arena, feeling the sweat pour down his face. He still wasn't sure how the two women across from him had talked him into this fight. _It was probably a question of my leadership…_ he mused, before hauling himself back to reality.

For their part, the girls were fairly calm. Each was confident in her fighting skills, and her ability to work together with the other. The older one hefted her axe with a grim smile.

"Are you ready?" Nabooru asked.

Her daughter drew her blades. "I think we all know the answer to that."

A scout stepped up on the podium, well above the arena, and called out, "We are gathered here today to witness an…unusual event. On one side, we have our king and leader. On the other, our queen and heir. The fight shall go on until one of them is incapacitated. For your own safety, I recommend spectators do not take bets. And the battle begins…NOW!"

Ganon took a deliberate step towards his opponents. _I'll focus on one of them, and pin her down,_ he decided, _she'll be out of the fight, and I'll win._ His eyes flickered back and forth between the two.

Ruby and Nabooru slowly inched apart, making their way around the edges of the arena, waiting to see who he'd watch. When Ganon turned his body to keep an advantage on Nabooru, Ruby darted across the space between them and slashed at his shoulder. The giant man roared and whirled on her, allowing Nabooru to come up behind him and slam the back of his knees with the head of her axe (they were only using practice blades, as no one wanted the royal family to seriously injure (or kill) each other, even by accident). Ruby slammed the hilt of her right-hand sword into the side of her father's neck.

"Is that all?" She asked with a wry smile, "I thought for sure such an 'all powerful ruler' would provide more of a threat."

He snarled at her, and got the flat of his wife's axe on the side of his head. Ganondorf collapsed.

Ruby put her foot on the back of his head and raised her arms up in a victory gesture. Beside her, Nabooru muttered, "And _that's_ why he always fights his opponents one-on-one."

* * *

Me: Hope you don't mind that it's not much of a fight. I just noticed how bad he was at keeping track of both Link and Zelda in the final fight in Wind Waker…

Ganondorf: *mutters something*

Me: *ignores him* Is it alright?

_Hmmm...have I not reviewed/dared with this? I say we change that!  
Truths:  
Zant-what is the average wingspan of a turnip?  
Ganondorf-who's that Pokemon?  
Veran-why am I asking you anything? I barely know who you are.  
Dares:  
Navi-go find the North Pole and stick your tongue to it. IF you claim to not have one, let the author give you one.  
Msfcatlover-no immunities. Nobody likes it when their dares are canceled out.  
Talon and Ingo-fight the Mario Bros. for your right to wear overalls and...uh...something.  
Don't think I'm all nice to the villains. If I remember, they'll get theirs eventually._

_-Foxpilot_

Zant: What's a turnip?

Midna: It's a light-realm vegetable.

Zant: VEJ-IT-BULL'S DON'T HAVE WINGS!

Ganondorf: …What's a Pokemon?

Veran: I'm not a mind-reader.

Me: I haven't even _played_ the Oracle games. I take it you haven't either, Foxpilot?

Navi: …Hyrule's flat. We don't have…oh.

Me: *summons a red and white striped pole* Well, here's _our_ North Pole.

Navi: *winces and licks it* Ith thill colth…Guyth? Ah tink ah'm thuck… *tugs head back*

Em: *shrugs and thaws the pole and Navi* That was the Dare. Sophie? You going to put the marker back?

Me: *shrugs* Why bother? The magnetic North Pole is migrating South anyways. *fuses pole to the ground* And I think it really spiffs up the place. Oh, and Foxpilot? I don't skip Dares unless I've already done something like it, or it involves another fandom. I asked you guys not to do other fandoms for a reason… We *gestures to whole studio* know basically nil beyond *gestures to studio* this. Sorry, I'm not looking it up just so that my life can become even more hectic.

_Man, those sandwiches were good. Poison? What poison?  
Msf: I can't see your picture. Just saying.  
Link: Which dungeon bosses were the most and least fun for you to fight? Whoever they were, I dare you to fight them both at once.  
Zelda: Dress in drag and go to the nearest Red Light district.  
Ganondorf: See Zelda's dare.  
Vaati and Majora: Plan and execute a bank heist in the most creative way you can think of. (As in, no blasting through the doors, killing the guards, and shooting through the vault door with lightning. Come up with something original.)  
Talon: Have a footrace against Malon while she's riding Epona.  
Darunia: Envelop everyone in a massive bear hug.  
Ruto: I don't like you. How do you feel about this?_

_-keybladeboy_

Me: …Oh. Let's try that again. http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/#/d30c9sa

Link: …Gyorg. In Minish Cap they were the most fun, in Majora's Mask it was the hardest.

Me: Video time!

Minish Cap: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=by8HFFPDi2w

Majora's Mask: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=l5NcUJyUHi0

Zelda/Ganondorf: *shrug and head for the dressing rooms.*

Zelda: *walks out* You know what occurred to me? You need to send someone with me. So that, if anything happens, you have a way to get me out.

Me: I–

Zelda: I mean *waves hand* last time, when you sent Link and me to that convention, we stayed there and waited for you to warp us back. But suppose I get kidnapped? You said you could only alter reality in here, Hyrule and for your OCs. If I'm not near where you warp me, wouldn't you need an OC with me, so that you can find us and warp us back?

Me: What about–

Zelda: Oh, no one's going to mess with _Ganon._ He's, like, eight feet tall for Nayru's sake!

Me: …Fine. You'll get a body guard. *pinches the bridge of her nose and waves her hand*

A young man appeared. He had spiky silver hair, with shoulder-length light blue "ear-tails." He was a little on the tall side, but had none of the awkwardness of a growing teenager. There was something in his poppy-colored eyes…he looked dangerous.

Me: This is Will. I originally created him as Cal's over-protective little brother, but never really developed him.

Will: *brushes at his ear, even though not one hair is out of place* Hey.

Me: Will, I need you to stick with Zelda for a little while, and make sure nothing…_excessive_ happens.

Will: Sure.

Zelda: *raised eyebrow* Man of few words?

Will: *raised eyebrow* Something wrong with that?

Ganondorf: *comes out of boys' dressing room* Done.

Me: Don't kill each other. *warps them out*

Majora: *flutters her lashes* Are we allowed to flirt, shamelessly?

Me: …I think I already know how this is going to go. *shoves them into the back room* You two plot in there, and we'll see the results at the end of the chapter, 'kay? *locks the door*

Talon/Malon/Epona: *stand at staring line*

Ingo: *waves flag* GO!

Talon: *takes off, puffing along*

Malon/Epona: *take off, pass Talon*

**30sec in…**

Talon: *1/4 of the way around the ring*

Malon/Epona: *running over the finish line*

Ingo: WE HAVE A WINNAH! *waves flag*

Darunia: Very well. *walks up to the HMS and hugs him*

HMS: *something cracks inside chest* GODDESSES! *faints*

Me: …I'm outta here! *puffs out*

Darunia: *drops him and walks up to Ruto*

**20min later…**

Em: *heals her own fractured spine before fixing up everyone else* *groan* There's another experience I could have done without. This job is proving to be mentally scarring…

Me: *puffs in* Suck it up, Em. You're the one who wanted to appear in my next story.

Em: *sigh*

Ruto: That's fine, KBB, I don't like you either.

Me: So, let's check on our villainous duo. *opens door to see a blood-soaked Majora holding a DVD standing in front of an impeccably dressed Vaati*

Majora: Already did it. This *waves DVD* is from the security camera. Wanna see?

Everybody: *hesitant nods*

Majora: *slides DVD into a projector*

On the screen, Majora walked through a set of double doors, talking to Vaati. They appeared to get into an argument, and he took a swing at her. Two security guards quickly broke up the "fight," and Majora seemed to break down crying against the chest of the one who grabbed her. Vaati smirked, and an odd silvery blur knocked his guard unconscious. The camera didn't catch what Majora did, but it was _explosive._ She pretended to panic, and took off down a hall, Vaati right on her heels.

There was a moment of static, and now the camera was looking through a circular room and down a hall. Majora came running down alone, and bumped straight into a nerdy-looking young man. They heard her shout "Help me, he's after me!" before sinking her fingers into his chest and vanishing. The young-man jerked a few times, before straightening his tie, glancing around, and walking back the way he'd come.

Another second of static, and the young man was standing in front of what had to be the vault. He bent down and typed something into the keypad set into the wall.

"Code word in. Phase two start."

Vaati appeared at his side. The Wind Mage turned his back to the camera and bent down before what had to be a scanner. His outline blurred.

The screen went white.

Majora: It was an iris scan. Vaati here took on the form of each person who had deposited, and when all the inner chambers were open, we entered the vault and warped everything to the back room.

Vaati: I gave Majora a power boost before we went in, so she could possess some one who might know the vault code.

Me: *invisible* Fine. *warps back Zelda, Ganondorf and Will* Anything interesting happen to you guys?

Will/Zelda: No.

Ganondorf: *shrug*

_Shad (from Twilight Princess)has to give me his autograph. And his book.  
Link must marry Zelda.  
Midna, do you love Link?  
Ganondork, one word, DIE! By jumping into a volcano._

_-Wildheart_

Shad: *hugs the book* But…it's my father's journal…

Ashei: You have more than one book, yeah?

Shad: *perks up* I guess…*fishes around in bag for a minute* Um…would you accept a copy of The Heroes' Legend? *signs the inside cover quickly and hands it to Emily*

Em: *warps it out*

Me: *points to Link and Zelda* You are now husband and wife. *rings materialize on their fingers*

Ganondorf: …This is what I hate about ToDs…

Me: Too bad. *warps him to Death Mountain*

Ganondorf: *gulps, then jumps*

_Okay no more guy thanks to Zant's insult I've decided not to hold back anymore. I was trying to go easy on you but now you can forget it!  
Tael: Go on a date with Navi. ( explain in good detail )  
Tatl: Follow them on said date and humiliate/embarrass Tael at every possible opportunity.  
Zant: Shoot yourself in the face.  
Ganondorf: Makeout with a cactus for two hours.  
Tingle: Go up 5000 ft in the air in you balloon then pop it.  
Link: Go on a date with every girl you ever met at once.  
Zelda: Fight Ganon by yourself.  
Vaati: Tell Sophie that you love her and want her to stalk you for all eternity. And you can't run away from her anymore  
Majora: Watch Barney for 24 hours straight without looking away or plugging your ears.  
Midna: In imp form wear a pink dress and sing i need a hero  
Navi: After the date with Tael kiss him then scream you caught his cooties.  
And now for the closer. After all the dares everyone must play the CDI Zelda games.  
And remember all of this happened because Zant insulted me._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Tael: …Ho, boy...

Em: *warps them to a fancy restaurant*

Tatl drifted over to Tael and Navi's table. "Fancy meeting you here!" she cried, just a little too loud.

Tael winced. "Sis, please! This is hard enough without…well…"

Tatl ignored him, and plopped herself down in a third chair (that had no reason to be there) "You're Navi, right? I thought you were with Link."

Navi smiled, a little tightly. "Link's more like my son, or little brother than my boyfriend. What are you doing here?"

Tatl grinned. "Oh, they have great wines."

**Roughly 1hr later…**

"And (hic!) _that's_ why my brother's the only dark-colored fairy you'll ever see!"

Tael squirmed in his seat. He knew it would be rude to ask his sister to leave, but he wasn't sure how many more of her drunken baby stories he could take! Or her almost endless dirty jokes about Navi and Link…

Me: *warps them all back to studio, and sobers Tatl up* They suffered enough.

Navi: *kisses Tael* COOTIES! *winks at him before flying off*

Tael: *turns bright red*

Zant: *takes a bow and tries* Can't.

Ganondorf: *is revived*

Em: *warps him to desert*

Tingle: Tingle's already floated too high on his balloon! He cannot pop it if he faints!

Midna: Let us help you with that! *turns into giant spider-deity and grabs the fairy-wannabe* HEY LINK!

Link: *turns around*

Midna: THINK FAST! *chucks Tingle up as hard as she can*

Link: *pulls out bow and shoots off three arrows*

Tingle: *Link's second arrow pops his balloon, and he plummets to the ground*

Link: *shrugs* Can't, I'm married.

Everyone: *nod sagely*

Link: It'd take forever anyway.

Zelda: *warps to a mesa overlooking Ganondorf's "kissing booth" and shoots him full of Light Arrows* I win. *warps back*

Em: …Those things are over-powered.

Everyone: *nod sagely*

Em: Stop doing that.

Vaati: There is nothing any of you can do to or for me to make me do that. _Nothing._

Em: …Vaats, do you know what I have to do to people who don't do their Dares without a good reason?

Vaati: …No.

Em: One word: fangirls.

Vaati: *walks up to the author* I-love-you-and-wish-you-would-stalk-me-for-all-eternity! *breaks down in tears*

Me: …*reads Dare*…*pats Vaati on the head* There there. You'll be fine. You said it, nothing's going to happen.

Majora: *shrugs and goes into the back room*

**24hrs later…**

Majora: *walks out* Kinda stupid, but I don't see what's so bad about it.

Me: …You are the only person I know who would think that. That show is hell.

Majora: *shrug*

Midna: *bursts out of the girls' dressing room in imp form and an elegant pink ballgown with her hair down* Let's get this over with. *walks up on the stage*

Emily, Malon, Zelda and Majora stepped up behind her as the back-up singers. (A/N "back-up singers" will be represented with B.U.S.)

(A/N: Music, as I think she sings it: youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=vgQayqoZGvw&feature=related but with just piano music and the B.U.S. humming the drum line)

The room darkens so that the stage is black. Piano music starts up. A soft blue spotlight turns on, revealing Midna, head bowed. She slowly lifts her head, and smiles sadly at the audience.

"Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a White Knight, upon a Fiery Steed? Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need…"

Pink spotlights go on, illuminating the B.U.S. The light on Midna turns white. She grins, and raises her voice.

"I need a Hero!" random cannons on either side of the stage go off, showering the audience with glitter. "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the end of the night! He's gotta' be strong and he's gotta' be fast, and he's gotta' be fresh from the fight!" The imp gaves a little spin on the last line, the slit in her gown drawing one or two wolf-whistles from the audience. "I need a Hero!" (glitter cannons) "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the morning light! He's gotta' be sure, and he's gotta' be soon, and he's gotta' be larger than life!"

(B.U.S.: "Larger than li-hife…") Midna smils flirtatiously at the audience as the piano takes a brief solo.

The lights dim slightly, the one on Midna shifting to red. She goes back to her sad smile and her soft voice. "Somewhere after midnight, in my wildest fantasy," (the imp closes her eyes, and sways slowly as she sings) "somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me." Her smile begins to get a little wilder as she continues with the verse, "Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat…It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet!" She snaps her eyes open an shows off her fangs in her trademark evil-grin

(A/N skip the instrumental that's here)

"Up where the mountains meet the heavens above!" Someone turned on the big screen and a picture of Yeto's snowy home appeared behind her. "Out where the lightning splits the sea!" It switched to Lake Hylia under the Twilight. "I can swear there is someone somewhere watchin' me! Through the wind and the chill and the rain!" Now the screen showed her riding on Link's wolf form in a storm. "And the storm and the flood!" Lake Hylia normal. "I can feel his approach like a fire" (she snarled the word "fire") "in my blood!"

(B.U.S.: "Like a fire in my blood!" X4) (then they hum along to the piano)

Midna _and_ the B.U.S: "I need a Hero!" (glitter cannons) "I'm holding out for a Hero 'til the morning light! He's gotta' be sure, and it's gotta' be soon, and he's gotta' be larger than life!"

(A/N shorten this instrumental to about fifteen seconds)

(B.U.S.: "HERO!)

Midna throws one hand into the air as she begin the final section. "OH! He's gotta' be strong and he's gotta' be fast, and he's gotta' be fresh from the fight!" (A/N _now_ play that slow, soft bit that came at the end of the instrumental) Midna drops to her knees and sighs into the microphone. Every light except for hers turns off and she sings the last line at barely a whisper, "I need a Hero…" The last word was soft and breathy. Midna's light turns off.

Everyone: *silence* *eruptive applause*

Midna: *slips off stage and back to the girls' dressing room to change back*

B.U.S.: *slip off stage and mingle with the crowd*


	9. Thank you

Disclaimer: see previous

Aaand...I'm back. No intro today, just straight into the fic!

* * *

_Why Msf, whatever made you think that absolutely correct assessment? It's almost like it was obvious. *Stupid, if odd grin.*  
Truth:  
Msfcatlover-what influenced your pen name?  
ST Link-which train set is your favorite?  
Vaati-tell the world your darkest secret. Because it's fun.  
Dares:  
Link-so you don't like the MM Gyorg, huh? Well in that case...go to sleep!  
All cuccos and WW pigs-ATTAAAAAAACK!  
Ganondorf-walk over that piece of land that is clearly not a pit of Master Sword blades covered by a cheap tarp. (It's a trap!)  
Now for some words of wisdom:  
"I am the walrus. Goo goo ga joob." ~The Beatles._

_-Foxpilot_

Me: "msf" are my initials. I go by Sophie because that's what I've always been called, and I hate my first name anyway. And "cat lover" is because I absolutely adore cats!

Link: Um…None of the full train sets, but a few combinations look pretty neat. Like using the Royal Carriage engine in front of an otherwise purely demon train? That's a pretty good one. The Candy Train engine works too.

Vaati: …Which one?

Link: *shrugs and walks into the Stock Pot Inn, firmly closing the door behind him*

Cuccoos/Pigs: *briefly glance up before going back to whatever it is they do*

Ganondorf: *raised eyebrow* *walks forward and falls to his death* I HAVE NO REGR-OW!

_Wow, talk about a modern day Bonnie and Clyde.  
Everyone: Go on Chatroulette for about an hour.  
Msfcatlover: That is a very nice picture of Majora...Nothing else, just that.  
Ruto: You...don't like me? How could you not like me? I'm so likeable! I'LL KILL YOU! KILL YOU IN THE FACE! -stabby stabby-  
Tingle: Tingle! Ol' buddy, ol' pal, you like me, don't you? -wraps the arm that's holding the still-bloody knife around Tingle's shoulders-_

_-keybladeboy_

Me: We'll do the first one last, 'kay?

Ruto: *dies*

Tingle: *trembling* Tingle is not sure…Right now, Tingle's liking feelings are being covered by Tingle's frightening feelings…

Em: *gives everyone laptops*

Everyone: *shrug and start typing*

**1hr later…**

Vaati/Link/Kafei: *slam their laptops shut* THE FANGIRLS!

Zelda/Malon/Medli/Midna: *slam their laptops shut* THE FANBOYS!

Ruto/Ilia: *slowly close their laptops with dreamy smiles* The fanboys…

Everyone else: *close laptops and shrug*

_I dare each and every one of the characters who have shown up thus far in this Fic to say something kind and flattering to Ilia. *Smug* Because I'm tired of everyone hating on her.  
*Leans back* Oh, and Ganondorf, I want you to apologize to Nabs for brainwashing her...and kiss her feet. That's a dare, too._

_-Lenn.n.n_

Me: *puffs out*

**2.5hrs later**

Vaati: …Your hair looks nice.

Ilia: *pout* you're the fifth person to say that!

Vaati: *walks away slowly*

Me: *puffs in* And he was the last one. *revives Ganondorf*

Ganondorf: _I_ didn't do anything to her! It was my mothers!

Nabooru: *points to her feet*

Ganondorf: *mutters, then kisses them*

Nabooru: *kicks him in the mouth. Hard.*

_Shad: We're going to the City in the Sky. Okay?  
Midna: For not saying whether or not you love Link, you must go on a date with Zant.  
Ganondork: Listen to the Gummy Bear song for two days._

_-Wildheart_

Shad: O-okay…*is warped out*

Midna/Zant: *are warped to a romantic restaurant*

Ganondorf: *shrugs and goes into backroom*

**30min later…**

Midna/Zant: *walk back in*

Zant: *spin* That was fun!

Midna: *facepalm* Worst "date" ever.

Everyone: *sit down expectantly and wait for Ganondorf's Dare to be over*

**47hrs later…**

Ganon (pig-form): *comes charging out door* NO MORE! *grunt* NO MORE!

Me: *changes him back*

Em: …You're doing my job, you know.

Me: So? Lemme have my fun *pout*

_you are freaking amazing at this thing I decided to let the loz cast have a break from my dares this week so I'll have some that are twice as funny/ evil next week._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Link: …I'm not sure whether to be relieved or terrified…

_like i promised no dares this week to let them have a break so i'll give you some truths.  
Navi (child time in oot) how old are you and what do you look like without you aura?  
Tatl same as Navi's but also explain why Tael is the only dark colored fairy (Sorry Tael but I really want to know)  
Midna which of your forms do you prefer?  
Ganondorf same as above.  
Saria what are you feelings towards Young Link.  
Vatti do you still have feelings for Emily because it's obvious she hasn't gotten over you  
Sophie here's a cookie_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Link: …Terrified.

Navi: I was twenty-five, and I just look like a normal Hylian. Except with blue skin.

Tatl: I'm about fifteen, and I have yellow eyes and pale-ish skin. Tael's dark because…*blush* Well, _actually_ because when we were learning magic, one of my spells went wrong and tinted him from lilac to dark purple.

Midna: Twili.

Ganondorf: Twilight Princess Gerudo.

Saria: *giggle* He's my bestest friend!

Vaati: I have feelings for every woman I meet, but they vary dramatically. Emily, however, is one of my best friends, even if we don't see eachother very often.

Me: YEAH COOKIE! *grabs it*

Em: Great, now she'll be on sugar-high.

Me: n.n

_I've got dares! And truths!  
Truths  
Ganondorf: do you hate the author for dragging you into this?  
Zant: where'd you get that bird mask thingy from?  
Link: do you like explosions or something? Cause bombs are in every single Zelda game ever.  
Fangirls: how much do you love Vaati?  
Dares  
Anyone: kill Ganondorf/Ruto/Both in the most painful and creative way possible. That means nothing half-assed!  
Tingle: give every rupee you have to the person next to you, and you will never get it back!  
Vaati and Link: have an actual swordfight  
Midna: confess your love to Zelda  
Vaati: cheat on the author  
Dark Link: try and destroy the studio beyond the author's ability to repair it_

_-TheBrick_

Ganondorf: Yes.

Zant: *starry eyes* My god gave it to me…

Everyone: *gag*

Link: …No, but they are very useful, which is probably why we still cultivate Bomb Flowers in Hyrule.

Fangirls (outside of studio): SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!

Deku Princess: *jumps on Ganondorf's head, driving him into the ground*

Link: *turns into wolf and buries the Gerudo king*

Zelda: *drags Ruto up Death Mountain, positions the terrified fish-girl on the rim and shoots her with light arrows*

Ruto: *falls into Death Mountain Crater in _slow motion!_*

Me: *holds something up* Hope you don't mind I borrowed this. Can you give it back to your Navi before she kills me? *warps remote out* Thanks.

Tingle: *turns to Majora* Tingle has to give you his Rupees, but Tingle wants you to know right now that Rupees aren't the only thing Tingle likes. *reaches for his purse*

Majora: *bends down, grabs him by the ankles and shakes him until all his Rupees, Force Gems and Kinstones are in a heap on the floor*

Tingle: Fairy-lady, those are Tingle's-

Majora: *lets the patterns of the mask flicker across her face* *snarling* Shut up!

Tingle: *faints*

Majora: *drops him on the (huge) pile and laughs*

Vaati: For how long? "First blood", or a "death duel"?

Link: "First blood" *backslice* I win.

Vaati: *muttering* Now that wasn't fair… *goes off to sulk*

Midna: …WHAT! How can one confess something that doesn't exist? AND I ASSURE YOU IT DOESN'T!

Vaati: *from his corner* WE WERE NOT, ARE NOT, AND HAVE NEVER BEEN "TOGETHER"!

Me: *nods sadly* I'm just another fangirl…

Dark: *performs "Essence of Shadow"* (A/N It's this really awesome move he's got in this fan-made RP I just downloaded!)

The studio crumbles.

Me: *repairs it* This is my own little pocket of Reality, only I can truly destroy it. And I can always remake it.

_MSFcatlover: You should take all of these songs, and put them as song fics. You know, their own separate fic. (The goddesses know they are awesome enough!) Also, for the Four Swords Plus Manga (you HAVE read it, right?) what is your favorite paringS (like BluexRed, VioxShadow, GreenxZelda, and so on..)  
Ocarina of Time Link: You should drown Ganondorf. While Navi annoys JUST him. And you use the wickedly awesome song of storms to drown Ganondorf.  
Ganondorf: Why on Earth, no, why on Hyrule do you have such a FRIGGIN LONG NAME? Are your parents crack addicts? You have no idea how tired one person's hands can get trying to type up a fan fiction and they have to constantly type your name. Due to you being a main character. You fail miserably.  
(Sorry, had to insult him. I absolutly hate him: he killed the sacred meadow: Bambi's mom lived there!)  
Midna: Kiss OoT Link. That shouldn't be too hard...I hope.  
Vaati: Kiss (not on the lips, but cheek. don't want to traumatize you too much.) MSFcatlover!_

_-freakyvampirecatgirl_

Me: I don't normally get involved with this sort of stuff…I'd have to say original!LinkXZelda, and maybe RedXElise. (That is how you spell her name, right?) I got nothing against yaoi, or any of the other pairings, but when Link is still whole, he's got a pretty obvious crush on Zelda. And Red and Elise are just _so_ cute individually, I think they'd make an absolutely _adorable_ couple!

Em: *revives Ganondorf* *warps Link, Ganondorf and Navi to Hyrule*

Link: *shoves Ganondorf down one of those random holes in Hyrule Field* *bottles Navi and throws her down their with him* *plays the Song of Storms*

The hole slowly fills up water. A Deku Baba grabbed Ganon's ankle, holding him under while Navi floated above his head, screaming.

Ganondorf: *dies*

Me: *warps them all back and revives Ganondorf*

Ganondorf: *sits up slowly* No, they are not. All Gerudo except my mothers have names like mine.

Midna: *grabs Link and kisses him* *ends kiss* Dare done. *small frown* For a guy with so many fangirls, you'd think he'd be a better kisser.

Vaati: *from his corner* Oh, when will this torture end?

Me: I think he's already been traumatized enough for today. *yelling* Vaati? You can skip this one, if you want.

Vaati: THANK YOU!

_hi peoples i'm lulukins :) this fic is odd but entertaining. I want to submit some stuff for some of my fav Zel characters! and no. Rest assured I'm not a fangirl.  
Vaati: Truth-Do you like purple? :)  
Midna: Truth-Holy cow who knew you could sing? Where the hell did that come from?  
I have NOTHING else to say besides:  
I wanna see some randomness! could Em and author lady please find it in your hearts to allow some chaos? ^.^  
Oh, and Dare- Link and Tetra kiss! And then TRUTH- Did they like it?  
MWAHAHAHAHA! XD  
~LULUKINS :D_

Vaati: Yes.

Midna: *pout* Singing lessons are required for Twili nobles, same as light-worlders.

Me: …We'll see. I got the feeling we'll get some dares that require crazy-randomness.

Link/Tetra: *kiss*

Tetra: *breaks it off* Midna's right, he's not a good kisser.

* * *

*sing-song voice* I keep getting more _Dares!_ I keep getting more _Truths!_ I wanted to _thank you, _my lovely _Reviewers!_ *end sing-song-ness*

Em: We're only on chapter nine...

But I'm having _so_ much fun, and even if sometimes it's hard to come up with a response, I really felt I ought to thank them for sticking with me and helping me write this.

Em: ...Please leave a Review. For the sake of what's left of the author's sanity, _please_ leave a Review.


	10. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Disclaimer: see previous

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Mwahahaha, I actually got the Halloween chapter up on Halloween! Score!

* * *

_Okay after 2 weeks of thinking i've come up with the most evil and torturous dares ever Muwahahaha Hahaha! *cough* being evil is hazardous to your health. Cast forgive me for this  
Link: do you think Navi is annoying? and for your dare give Ruto a big hug  
Navi: If Link says yes kick him in the nuts, If he says no give him a hug.  
All Fairies shown so far: Get caught in the same bottle by Link who the puts the bottle in a washing machine on full blast.  
Ganondorf: rip out you own skull and beat yourself to death with it while screaming "This doesn't seem physically possible!"  
Midna: I here by force you into you imp form for all eternity and Sophie can't change you back.  
Saria: Go on a date with Mido ( I know i hate him too but i promised evil dares)  
Vaati: Kiss Ruto (just remember i could have said Ganondorf (If yaoi didn't make want to puke))  
Ruto: Get warped to death mountain crater for a whole day,  
Child forms of everyone : Get locked in a room that takes away your powers and weapons with Michele Jackson._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Link: Um…I did at first, but not anymore. We know each other too well to truly be annoyed by anything the other does.

Navi: Aww…*gives him the best hug she can*

Ruto: *screams and faints*

Link: …Why'd I have to be a main character? *hugs Ruto* *drops her*

Em: …He's right, why _are_ we the only ones getting Dares?

Telma: Yeah, no one ever Dares people like Carl.

Zelda: Who?

Telma: He stands outside of Agitha's house and tries to see through the window.

Link: *catches Navi, Tatl and Teal in a bottle, which he quickly tosses into a washing machine*

**5min later…**

The washing machine stopped.

Em: *opens it and frees the fairies*

Navi/Tatl: *bolt out*

Navi: For the most part it was really fun, except–

Teal: *floats out of bottle* I threw up…*drifts off to brush his teeth*

Tatl: Except for that.

Ganondorf: …It's not.

Me: *puffs in* I HAVE A SOLUTION!

Everyone: *nervously looking at each other*

Me: Phantom Ganon is a clone of you, right?

Ganondorf: Sorta, yeah…?

Me: So he _is_ you, right?

Ganondorf: Well…

Me: Therefore, his skull is your skull! *summons and kills Phantom Ganon* Problem solved! *puffs out*

Ganondorf: Um…

Majora: _I_ can do it, if you want.

Ganondorf: No, thank you! *pries off Phantom Ganon's skull and starts hitting himself with it*

Midna: …This is gonna take a while…Hey, author? Can we help?

Me: *disembodied voice* SURE!

Majora: *summons her whips and starts beating Ganondorf*

Midna: *transforms into her final form and spears Ganondorf*

Majora: *pout* You people always ruin my fun…*gets rid of her whips*

Midna: *promptly turns back into imp form* …I hate you. You work very hard at making our lives hell, don't you?

Saria/Mido: *get warped to fancy restaurant*

Vaati: *quickly kisses Ruto*

Em: *bristles*

Vaati: *wipes mouth* …Women should _not_ be slimy.

Ruto: *gets warped to Death Mountain and falls in*

Em: Oops. My mistake. Oh, the author forgot to mention, but she will _not_ do MJ Dares. We will not bring a Real-Life dead creeper back to life.

_Shad: Hello, my dear friend. Spend an hour with your biggest fangirl. (A.K.A. me)  
Ganondork: I don't believe you've been tortured enough. Watch the entire Barney series. Without pause.  
Link: Of the girls, who do you like best?_

_-Wildheart_

Shad: Um, okay…*is warped out*

Ganondorf: NO! *is dragged into the backroom by Telma and Majora who then leave and lock the door*

Link: I will happily say it again; I like them all equally. It's the only way to survive.

_Navi doesn't mind, as long as it's used for pain. PAIN! That and I'm a sucker for slow motion.  
Command  
Ruto: Die. Again. I will it to be so.  
Dares  
Link: listen to Miror B's theme for a day without dancing  
Ilia: go up to Ganondorf and give him a BIIIG hug  
Darunia: fight The Incredible Hulk  
Navi: go annoy Vaati or something  
Truths  
Malon: what are your feelings on Romani?  
Zelda: how do you feel about Midna's rejection? And protestation? And blatent disregard for a certain scene in TP?  
I'm having some serious writer's block, so that's all for now (lucky Zelda characters...Mwahahaha)_

_-TheBrick_

Ruto: *is still dead from Emily's "accident"*

Em: The backroom's busy so…

Link: *takes a laptop, and shrugs* I'll youtube it. *walks into boys' dressing room*

Ilia: *is warped to the backroom*

Darunia: …Who?

Me: *disembodied voice* Other fandoms equal NO.

Malon: Um…*blush* Every time I talk to her, I can't help but wonder if I was really that weird when I was little…

Romani: *kicks her in the shin*

Zelda: I really don't care.

**24hrs later…**

Link: *walks out of dressing room* It actually gets really irritating after about the second hour.

Majora: *cracks open the door to the backroom and collapses in laughter*

Ganondorf: *in a corner in the fetal position*

Ilia: *singing the clean-up song and clearly enjoying herself immensely*

_TRUTHS:  
Link: would you marry any Zelda in any game?  
Vaati: Do you have a little cruch on MSF?  
Everyone: What is your favorite game other than your own?  
Majora: If you could what would be another way to distroy clock town?  
Everyone: Tell us your biggest fear  
DARES:  
Gannondorf: Kill all the Gannon haters : (I lOVE YA MAN)  
OOT Link : Meet every one of your Fangirl friends in the games also give Princess Linka (ME) a kiss while makeing your favorite Zelda watch :D  
(LOVE THIS STORY MIGHT DO ONE MYSELF :D)_

_-Princess Linka_

Link: …Yes. And any other girl.

Vaati: _NO! NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!_

Everyone: *exchange looks* Um...

Em: I think we're all looking forward to Skyward Sword enough, right?

Everyone except Majora: YEAH!

Majora: It takes a lot to get me so hyped up I don't enjoy my own game more than anyone else's. And frankly, SS isn't enough. Oh, and a good, old-fashioned massacre is always fun!

Everyone: RABID FANGIRLS!

Ganondorf: *is killed by the author*

Me: If he did that, there'd be no more story, because I'd be dead. A dead girl cannot write.

Link: The fangirls are _not _my friends, and I don't have a favorite Zelda.

Me: *warps in Princess Linka*

Link: *gives her a light kiss on the cheek*

Me: *warps her out* I _am_ glad you like it so much!

_olny one Truth  
Purple Link...are you gay?...dont ask i have to clear this with my bro once and for all. Please so NO_

_-Link's Twin_

Me: *splits Link into his four personas and warps herself out*

Vio: Um…Honestly, when you're ten, you don't really know yet. Give me a few years, and I'll tell you then.

Vaati: Why does everyone assume purple equals gay?

_

* * *

oh also could you put everyone in costumes for Halloween_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

I won't put everyone in costume, but I drew you two pictures with those who've been hogging the stage in costume! ...plus one.

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/#/d31tp4h

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/#/d31tnl0

I wuv Will and his awesome metallic hair, it is so much fun to color! *summons him just so I can glomp him* YEAH, WILL!

Will: WTF? Some one get her off!

Em: *steps in front of the odd scene* Please Read and Review.


	11. Happy November 6th

Disclaimer: see previous

...no real comment. I'm tired.

* * *

_I got a KISS from LINK ! WOOOOO TO THE FREAKING WOOOOO! IN YOUR FACE ZELDAS!  
DARES:  
VATTI: Go on a date with MSF ( You can't get out of It)!  
Lineback: Steal all Links Treasure  
Link: Give Princess Linka the Master sword :D  
Midna + Zelda : DIE LOSERS!  
Ganondorf: Kill your biggest hater in the game series (Other than Link)  
Still Loving the story ( Passes out from thinking about the kiss from Link)_

_-Princess Linka_

Vaati: …WHY ME?

Me: SQUEE! It'll be at the end of the chapter, 'kay?

Linebeck: It's in my crate, that makes it my treasure.

Ceila: Lier!

Link: Um…alright…

Em: *warps it out*

Midna/Zelda: *heart attacks*

Ganondorf: *turns around and stabs Vaati through the stomach*

Vaati: *turns into Demon form* I repeat, _WHY ME?_

_ok ok ok ok, good so far but could be better.  
dares:  
gannondolf; kill all your fangirls/boys except the writter and anyone else that they don't want killed (onlly three people)  
vatti; kiss shadow/dark link, then tell us if you liked it.  
shadow/dark link; go on a date with link and zelda...  
link and shiek; i dare you to get a chicken and call it Zelda, make out with it. . .  
truths:  
shadow/dark link; are you two different people?  
shiek; do you think your a boy or a girl? and who do you like the best?  
oh and msfcatlover and anyone else in this fic who every like vatti should go give him a hug, the poor thing needs it, so does gannondolf.  
oh and have a suger cookie. . .  
hope you all have fun :P_

_-Darkwolflink1_

Me: I AM NOT A GANON FANGIRL! NEVER HAVE BEEN! NEVER WILL BE!

Em: No one here likes him, except maybe Koume and Kotake. Can't say they really count, though, since they're his mothers.

Ganondorf: Alright, warp ma out.

Me: *grabs him by the throat* YOU ARE _NOT_ KILLING MY REVEIWERS!

Vaati: Um…

Shadow: Let's get this over with. *kisses him* And the answer is?

Vaati: …No.

Shadow/Dark/Link/Zelda: *are warped out*

**Roughly 2hrs later…**

Shadow/Dark/Link/Zelda: *are warped back*

Shadow: *plops down in a random chair* Bo-_ring_.

Dark/Link: *nod*

Shadow: *smirk* I am pleased to inform you that _I_ am a natural Dark Worlder, while _he_ *points to Dark* was actually created by Ganon.

Dark: *glares at him* Don't go acting like that makes you better. _I _have the Dark Master Sword *points it at Shadow*

Shadow: *grins* True, but _I_ have bombs large enough to warp space when they go off.

Dark: *stabs him*

Shadow: *dissolves with a giggle*

Zelda: *changes into Sheik and thinks about it* I…I don't really know. I've got two different mindsets right now, Princess and Sheikah. It's…confusing.

Almost everyone: *squish Ganondorf*

Em: *hugs Vaati protectively* I _am_ sorry about all this…

Vaati: *slight blush* It's fine… 'cept for, you know, the author.

Me: *puffs out of crowd* YEAH, COOKIE! *stuffs it into her mouth*

_Okay nice pics and FTW Midna you look cuter in you imp form same goes for you Emily. now onto the dares  
everyone : dress up as power rangers on live tv and yell whatever color you are and the team is Z~force  
Navi: I think you cute and with that out of the way i dare you to cook a 5 corse dinner for the entire cast.  
Link : sword fight with mido in you child form post ocarina  
Vaati : Do whatever you can to get over fear of the author and relax  
Shadow Link: Go out in the sunlight  
Saria: If Mido did any thing you didn't like on the date kick his nuts if not still kick his nuts.  
Ruto: I here by give all the Zoras clothes that are waterproof  
Majora: do community service  
Midna how was your week as an Imp  
Tatl: why were you so mean to Link durring your adventure  
Sophie: Did you see my fc on deviantart_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Everyone: *let their respective villains go*

Em: …Power Rangers aren't part of our fandom.

Navi: Aww, thank you! *flutters off to the kitchen*

Link: *stabs him in the foot* What's the matter, Mido? Don't got your sword on you?

Mido: !#$%^&*

Vaati: *dashes into boys' dressing room and locks the door* …This won't last long, but it'll be worth it.

Shadow: *sticks his tongue out and steps into a patch of light* *thinks about it* It stings a little but I'm solid again, so it doesn't truly _hurt_.

Dark: *turns on a strobe flashlight*

Shadow: *flinches and glares* Jerk!

Dark: *smirks*

Saria: *kicks Mido*

Ruto: *finds herself in a water suit* Hmm… *pours water down the gap for the helmet* Much better.

Majora: *hisses before being warped out*

Midna: Fine, I guess. I still–

Em: *hand over Midna's mouth* *whispering* Don't insult the reviewers!

Tatl: I can't help my personality.

Me: Yeah! It's pretty cool!

_Ganondork: How'd you like Barney? Turn into "Dark Beast Ganon" and jump into Death Mountain.  
Shad: Hi. That is all.  
Link: Spend a day with your rabid fangirls.  
Agitha: Burn your golden bug collection._

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: *death glare and transforms*

Ganon: *is warped into Death Mountain* *jumps into the creator*

Shad: *blush*

Link: DO YOU ALL WANT TO KILL ME? *is warped out*

Agitha: *cries as she sets fire to a curtain*

Me: *squees again and warps herself and Vaati out*

Navi: *flies out of kitchen* I made dinner!

Everyone: *swarm into the kitchen*

* * *

Vaati sat uncomfortably at a small table. "Are you absolutely sure about this?" he hissed at the girl across from him. She gave him a pitying look.

"Stop acting. It's just dinner."

He flinched at the word. The Wind Mage held a menu in front of him like a shield.

"Can I help you?" They both flinched at the waitresses voice, the girl recovering first.

"Erm, yes. I'll have a ginger ale, and some buttered noodles. Vaati?"

"I'll have…" he hesitated, not quite willing to put down his only defense.

The waitress didn't seem to notice. "Vaati? As in…_the_ Vaati?"

He shrunk down deeper in his chair, as his "date" glared at the other girl. "So what if he is?"

"Well I'm just his _biggest fan!_"

"I-I'm going to the bathroom!" He shot out of the booth and practically ran down the aisle and locked the bathroom door behind him. About five minutes later, some one was knocking.

"Hey!" came a man's voice, "Anyone in there?"

"Yes!" he snapped.

"When you gonna be out, boy?"

"Whenever my 'date' gives up on this idea and gets us both out of here!"

* * *

It took about an hour and three brutal arguments before I realized he really wasn't coming back out. I finished my dinner, and we both went home. Oh, and by "we both went home" I mean _I_ went home, and dropped him off at the studio on the way.

Vaati: *from dressing room* GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!

Read and Review.


	12. Saturday the 13th

Disclaimer: see previous.

It's great to be back! I'm finally working on SotH again (I know, it's a little soon for contractions, but still...) so I'm getting my semi-original creativity back out there, but don't worry, I'm not abandoning this. I'm having too much fun ;)

* * *

_Oh dear, it seems that I've been missing out on the fun. This is what I get for just going to the Humor section, huh? ANyway, fin time!  
Truths:  
Volvagia and Argarok-are either of you related to Trogdor?  
Vaati-whichever secret is your absolute darkest, you must tell. I ain't givin' up on that yet. If you have several...share them all!  
Kafei-do you serve coffee?  
Dares:  
Majora-burn your mask.  
Link-your hat is now an awesome black felt fedora with a white hatband. If anyone makes fun of it, they get Master Sword where the sun don't shine.  
Ruto-I'm going to offer you a compromise: you can have the CD-i Link. Either accept it...or run the risk of continual beatings from other fans.  
Well, that should do it. I'm putting this on alert so I don't miss it again._

_-Foxpilot_

Volovagia/Argarok: Roar? (A/N translation: No?)

Vaati: …I…um…*mutters something about spells gone wrong and a childhood sweetheart*

Kafei: At the Stock Pot Inn, we do serve a revitalizing milk-and-bean brew that is rather like your coffee.

Majora: *warps to Kakariko, sets the place on fire and tosses the empty mask into a shop* Not very efficient, but very fulfilling. *warps out*

Me: *puffs into Kakariko, fixes it up and puffs out*

Link: *takes off hat and looks at it* Umm…

Ruto: LINK IS MINE! _ALL_ LINK'S ARE MINE! *evil laugh*

_Dares  
Linebeck and Tingle: have a Rupee fight. The one with the most Rupees at the end wins.  
Vaati: go on an adventure filled with monkeys.  
Zelda: split into Zelda and Shiek and then have a philosiphical discussion with yourself.  
Majora and Link: have an epic final form (Fierce Diety VS Majora's final form, forgetting the name right now) battle, cause MM is m favorit game in the series. BTW, what's yours?  
Truths  
None today, sadly..._

_-TheBrick_

Linebeck/Tingle: *start chucking Rupees at each other*

Vaati: Wha-*is warped out*

Zelda: *splits*

Zelda/Sheik: *look at each other*

Sheik: …Well, this is odd.

Zelda: *nod* To say the least.

Me: *puffs in, blocking them from view* ROLL THE TAPE!

http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=O1Afhr_4eGI

Me: *whisper* I wuv Minish Cap…

Em: I'd have thought you could figure that out on your own.

_*laughing wickedly*  
DARES!(in order to do this dare Ciela must be transformed into a human  
Ciela: you must kiss Linebeck ON THE LIPS for 1 hour STRAIGHT  
Linebeck: see Ciela's  
Link: you must fight all the bosses from the mention games. without help.  
Joleen:walk in just as Linebeck and Ciela finishes kissing. go after Linebeck.  
Ganondorf: go up against all the links in the mention games.  
msfcatlover: transport me to the studio and have me help Joleen hurt Linebeck.(I am a fangirl of him. I married him in my dreams)_

_linebecky29_

Me: *transforms Celia*

Celia/Linebeck: *kiss*

Link: *is warped out*

**59min later…**

Vaati/Ganondorf: *sleeping*

Majora: *levitating objects into peoples heads*

Zelda/Sheik: *finishing up their conversation*

Em/Me: *playing chess*

Me: *jumps up* HA! CHECKMATE!

Little timer goes off.

Em: *glances over at Celia and Linebeck* Break it up, lovebirds.

Joleen: *hits Linebeck on the back of the head with the hilt of her sword*

Me: *warps in linebecky*

linebecky: *glomps Linkebeck*

_sorry forgot to add truths  
Ciela and Linebeck: How did the kiss feel?  
Joleen: why do you go after Linebeck? In the game he said that the treasure wasn't all that great.  
Link:(if you survive) what do you think of me now that I made you go fight all those bosses?  
Gannondorf: Why are you so obsessed with the triforce? You have been beaten tons of times for it, so just let it go man!  
that is all_

_-Linebecky_

Celia: Um…It was alright…

Joleen: Gods, girl! It's not about the treasure! It's about trust, and friendship and moral lessons…*trails off as she notices everyone looking at her* *crosses arms* Look, he's a jerk and he needs to pay for it, alright?

Link: *is warped back* I just don't understand why you all seem to want to see me die…

Ganondorf: But if I do get it, I'll be able to completely remake the entire world…I'm immortal, I don't have much else to reach for.

_I GOT THE MASTER SWORD!  
Truth:  
Vatti: Why don't you MSF?  
Majora: Who would you posses and Why?  
Gannondorf: What made you evil?  
Koume and Kotake: Who is the Father Of Gannondorf?  
Dares:  
Ilia/Ruto: Fall into death moutain and... BURN! BURN! BURN!  
Love the story. Got to go pratice my Sword fighting..  
*Starts swining Master sword like crazy._

_She other review I meant Vatti Why don't you Like MSF?_

_-Princess Linka_

Em: *wakes up Vaati*

Vaati: Hmm? *sees Dare* Oh…I don't get along with my fangirls. Not many people do. I'm going back to sleep, now *lays back down*

Majora: Who are my options? I tend to pick based on how powerful people are, and how weak-willed they can be.

Ganondorf: Again, I blame puberty.

Koume: …He doesn't have a father, just us. Isn't that right, Kotake?

Kotake: Yes indeed.

Ilia/Ruto: *are warped to Death Mountain Crater*

_Ganondork: Something wrong, Piggy?  
Link: Duel Ganondork to the death. As in, his death.  
Linebeck 3: I don't really like you, so get eaten by a Like Like.  
Midna: What were you going to tell Link before you left?  
Shad: Have a cookie. *gives Shad cookie*_

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: *sarcasm* Yes something's _wrong_! I'm here, aren't I?

Link: He has the Triforce of Power; he can't die.

Ganondorf: *fist pump*

Em: But you did duel at the end of Twilight Princess.

Me: ROLL TAPE!

http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=3-oUxJNL69Q&feature=related

A like-like falls from the ceiling, directly onto Linebeck III.

Midna: Is that a Truth or a Dare?

Shad: *tentatively takes cookie* T-thanks…

_Back for more dares  
Navi why did you ditch Link at the end of oot? I'm sure you have a good reason but it seems mean to me.  
Tatl tell Navi about how you helped get Link mugged and turned into a deku scrub. amd take the punishment  
Link if you want to get back at Tatl for all the crap she made you go through you may just don't kill her  
Ruto I think i misworded the clothes thing i ment whatever the zoras wear instantly dry out of water but retain water inside to keep the zoras moist.  
Vatti I give you a laser gun that turns rabid fangirls into fangirls that respect the wishes of the one they're insane for.  
Midna I'm sorry you don't like your imp form so i change you back.  
Saria get in a tickle fight with kid Link  
and last i give everyone they're favorite food .  
Navi I likes yous alot! : )_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: *sniff* He needed to grow up on his own…

Me: *hands her a fairy-sized handkerchief*

Navi: Thanks *dabs nose*

Tatl: Um…Hey Navi?

Navi: Yeah? *sniff*

Tatl: Um…At-the-beginning-of-Majora's-Mask,-Skull-Kid-Tael-and-me-attacked-Link-in-the-Lost-Woods-and–

Navi: *bawls*

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Link: There were lots of off-screen pranks. I feel I've fully gotten my revenge.

Ruto: *dead in Death Mountain Crater*

Vaati: *grabs it* Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!

Midna: *fist pump*

Em: *Turn Link into child form*

Saria: *pins Kid Link down and tickles his feet*

Link: *incomprehensibly begging for mercy*

Everyone else: *shuffle off in the general direction of the kitchen*

**30min later…**

Everyone: *shuffle out of the kitchen*

Em: *licking some kind of sauce off her fingers* Moving on…

_How long has it been since I reviewed? I don't even know...Anyway, here's a long overdue set for you.  
Ganondorf, Vaati, Em, and MSF: Go hang out with the ponies from My Little Pony for a day.  
Link: Kill Ganondorf with your bare hands (No Master Sword or Silver Arrows)  
Everyone: Choose one song to sing on karaoke and sing it in perfect harmony OR ELSE I'LL CUT YOU. -waves a knife around threateningly-  
Navi: Take the Cinnamon Challenge (look it up).  
Zant and Nabooru: Have a gentleman's duel at dawn. Winner gets a cookie._

_-keybladeboy_

Me: *looks up from her pasta* Hey, KBB! I was wondering where you got to!

Tingle: *muttering* I wasn't…

Me: Quiet, you *goes back to eating*

Em: Other fandoms equal _no_. No exceptions!

Zelda: *shoots Ganondorf full of light arrows* HE CAN'T DIE! WE'VE BEEN TRYING FOR CENTURIES!

Link: _MILLENNIA! _

Ganondorf: *groan of immense pain*

Majora: *smirks and kicks him* Ganon's not singing today.

Me: …That'll take awhile. Tell you what, I'll look up songs, and the _entire next chapter_ can be dedicated to karaoke.

Navi: *looks it up on mini-laptop* Oh…I can't fit that much into my mouth anyway.

Zant: I don't wanna get up that early *cries like a little baby*

Nabooru: *knocks him upside the head with the flat of her axe* Let's just say I won. He's a big baby.

Midna: No, he's just an idiot.

* * *

Please R&R, but know that it'll take two chapters for me to get to those. Next chappy is karaoke.


	13. Karaoke

Disclaimer: see previous

*headdesk headdesk headdesk*

Em: What's wrong?

I wanted to finish this by Thanksgiving! But I didn't! Or the day after! And now it's the third day, and I feel like crap!

Zelda: ...This sounds familiar...

**Chapter eight: **

"I wanted to get this up Sunday, so I could make more 42 jokes, but...something came up then (don't remember what...weird...) and I couldn't. So _then_ I was going to get it up Monday, and make belated 42 jokes, but Mom kicked me off the one computer in our house before I could finish, and wouldn't let me on for the rest of the day. So now it's Tuesday, and I suppose I could still make belated 42 jokes...but frankly I'm tired, and they wouldn't be very funny after two days."

**Present day:**

_And_, just to top it off, you can see exactly where I got tired and had to stop for the day! By the end of the chapter, I was so completely sick of it, you all damn well better like it, 'cause I am never doing another karaoke chapter!

* * *

The author walks out on stage.

Me: Good evening, readers! Welcome to today's "specialty chapter: karaoke!" We'll start with what I wrote before getting Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri's set of karaoke Dares! Not much of an intro. Princess Zelda? *walks off*

Zelda: *walks on, adult, Twilight Princess, but with a knee-length skirt* I'll be singing _Raise Your Glass_ by Pink

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=nv1y_Wn9LuM&feature=fvsr)

Zelda lifted thee microphone and walked to the back of the stage. The lights dimmed. As the first notes played, they came back on to show the stage magically transformed to look like a Hylian restaurant, complete with Telma behind the bar, Shad, Ashei, Link, Ilia and Vaati seated at three tables spread out around the space. Zelda sat at the bar and played with a wineglass as the opening played.

The princess turned and winked at the audience. "Right, right, turn off the lights." She stood up. "We gonna lose our minds tonight. What's the dealie-oh?" She placed one finger on her chin and smiled mischievously. "I love when it's all too much. Five a.m., turn the radio up." She tapped Link on the shoulder and purred, "Where's the rock-and-roll?" He laughed.

She turned back to the audience. "Party crasher, penny snatcher. Call me up if you a gangsta'. Don't be fancy, just get dance-y." She leaned back against Link and smirked. "Why so serious?"

Zelda thrust her glass in the air. "So raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways! All my underdogs," A sweep of her arm indicated the entire room, "we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty, dirty, little freaks!" She walked over and poked Shad, "Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass?" waved for Ashei to stand, "Just come on, and come on and raise your glass!"

The princess dashed back over to Link and gave him a light shove. "Slam, slam! Oh hot damn, what part of 'party' don't you understand? Wish you'd just freak out!"

"Freak out already," Ashei muttered, sipping her cup.

Zelda plopped into the chair next to Link. "Can't stop, comin' in hot. I should be locked up right on the spot!" she leaned forwards seductively. "It's so on right now." He turned away from her. She pouted. "Party crasher, penny snatcher. Call me up if you a gangsta'. Don't get fancy, just get dance-y." draping her arms around his neck, she sighed, "Why so serious?" Link shrugged her off, and stood up.

The princess jumped up to block his way, though she addressed the others on stage. "So raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways! All my underdogs," a sly smile, "we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty, dirty, little freaks! Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass?" She stabbed hers in the air, accompanied by Ashei and Vaati. "Just come on and come on and raise your glass!" This time, Shad joined her and Telma flicked her cleaning rag. Link rolled his eyes. Zelda whirled around to face him. "Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass? Just come on and come on and raise your glass!" He shook his head, and tried to step away. Zelda dodged in front of him again, then glanced in her wineglass.

"…Oh shit, my glass is empty. That sucks!" He rolled his eyes again. She tossed it towards Telma, who caught it perfectly, while the princess turned back to Link.

"So if you're too school for cool…And you're treated like a fool…." Zelda leaned against Link, who was looking very uncomfortable. "You can choose to let it go…We can always, we can always…party on our own." She grinned as Ilia, who'd snuck up behind Link, dumped a bucket of water over his head. The hero spluttered as she turned back to the rest of the crowd.

"So raise your-" Ilia started

"So raise glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways! All my underdogs," Zelda gave Link a playful push. "we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty, dirty, little freaks! So raise glass if you are wrong," Everyone except Link stabbed either a fist or a cup into the air. "in all the right ways! All my underdogs, we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty-gritty, dirty, little freaks!" Zelda glanced at Link and smiled gently. "Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass? Just come on and come on and raise your glass!" She hopped onto a nearby chair. "Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass, for me? Just come on and come on and raise your glass," She leaned forwards, overbalancing the chair. Link caught her as she toppled forwards, and the princess gazed adoringly up into his face. "for me…?" The lights snapped off.

There was a pause, and the audience went nuts.

Me: *puffs back on* Amazing singer, that girl. Speaking of princesses, guess who's on next? *grins and walks off*

Midna: *walks on* The author thought it'd be "cute" to give me a semi-romantic song. So I'll be singing _Gone Forever_ by Three Days Grace.

Me: *from off stage* I did seriously consider _Pretty Baby_ by Vanessa Carlton!

Midna: *shudder* Goddesses, no! *sigh*

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=_aFa2-tizfw&feature=related)

The lights came on, still very dim, to reveal Midna kneeling at the back of the stage. In a heart-wrenchingly sad voice, whispered, "Dunno know what's going on…Dunno what went wrong…Feels like a hundred years, I still can't believe you're gone." She lurched to her feet, and raised her voice a little. "So I'll stay up all night…with these blood-shot eyes. While these walls surround me with the story of our life…" Glancing up for the first time, she gave a forced grin to the audience. "I feel so much better, now that you're gone forever! I tell myself that I don't miss you at all. I'm not crying!" She swiped a hand across her eyes, "Denying…That I feel so much better now…That you're gone forever."

The Twili sighed and pulled back her hood, glancing towards the ceiling. "Now things are coming clear…and I don't need you here…And in this world around me…I'm glad you disappeared." Midna audibly gulped right before _glad_. Her voice got angrier as she continued. "So I'll stay out all night, Get drunk, and _fuck_ and fight! Until the morning comes, I'll forget about our life…" The princess's voice wander back to wistful on the last line, but she shook her head and mimed a laugh.

"I feel so much better, now that you're gone forever! I tell myself," she casually waved her hand, "that I don't miss you at all." Widening her eyes, Midna snapped, "I'm not lying! Denying…That I feel so much better now…That you're gone forever."

The Twili clenched a fist. "First time you screamed at me, I should have made you leave!" she stomped her foot on _leave_. "I should have known it could be so much better!" Pointing to the audience, "I hope you're missin' me! I hope I've made you see…That I'm gone forever."

Glancing away, she whispered, "And now it's coming clear, that I don't need you here…And in this world around me…I'm glad you disappeared…" Another head-shake and forced grin started the final chorus. "I feel so much better, now that you're gone forever! I tell myself that I don't miss you at all." A shrug accompanied the last line. "I'm not lying!" she turned her back on the audience and began to walk away. "Denying...That I feel so much better now…that you're gone forever."

Midna hesitated. "And now you're gone forever…And now you're gone forever…" Falling to her knees, the Twilight Princess shook, as though sobbing. Again, security escorted her from stage, while many wondered who, exactly, was in the audience, since the cast had to be guarded by security. A large puff of purple smoke signified the author's reentry.

Me: Sadly, that was all I got done. So *evil grin* _now_ we go to the song Dares! Thanks again, Kozan!

_Young Link: I turn you into a kokiri so Navi can remain your guardian fairy. I hate seeing her cry. I hope this makes you happy Navs ; )  
Now for the song dares  
Linebeck : sing I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts but replace the word coconuts with rupies  
Ruto : Sing under the sea or apart of your world i'm cool with whatever.  
Vaati: Sing colors of the wind or I put a spell on you  
Fairies : Sing Don't Stop Beliving  
Ganondorf : Sing TNT  
Dark Link: Sing I am all of me or it's my life  
Majora : Sing Reflection  
Zelda : Sing don't you wish you girlfriend was hot like me  
Midna : Sing All hail Shadow but add an "s" to the end  
Saria and Young Link: Sing a duet of You raise Me up._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Linebeck: No. It's a stupid song. I won't.

Em: *coughFANGIRLScough*

Linebeck: Still no.

Me: SECURITY!

As security dragged Linebeck to a room full of rabid fangirls, the following clip played on the big screen: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=-1AE9mwEwM4

Ruto: *ponders* I'm thinking… _Part of Your World_.

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=UKfElKVcaPw&feature=related just ignore the intro)

The light came on to show Ruto sitting on a bed in a coral chamber. Crystals and jewelry hung from the walls, making it sparkle where the soft, blue light shone. She glanced around and sighed.

"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?" She reached up and flicked a small diamond that hung just above her head. "Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?" with another sigh, she stood up. "Look at this trove," a wave of her hand indicated the room "treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think, 'Sure, she's got everything.'" The Zora threw her hands up into the air, then raced over to one wall and began ripping down the shimmering strands. "I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal. I want more." She'd uncovered a small hole, from which she carefully removed a book. A second area made to look like Hyrule field materialized above her cavern  
"I wanna be where the people are…I wanna see one, see them dancin'…" Young Link and Saria dashed across the top area, laughing. "Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?" Ruto smiled, "Oh - feet!" she turned a page.  
"Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far. Legs are required for jumping, dancing!" Midna rode Wolf Link across the stage. (Only Ruto is in the "cave." Everyone else is in the top area.) "Strolling along down the - what's that word again?" The fish-girl laughed, "Street!"  
Zelda, Link, and Shadow walked out and began to set up a picnic as Ruto turned another page. "Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun…Wanderin' free - wish I could be part of that world…" She pressed the book against her chest as Shadow playfully tugged Zelda's braid and pointed to Link when she glanced up.  
"What would I give if I could live out of these waters?" She tucked it back into its hole as Zelda tackled Shadow. "What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?" Link turned and laughed. Zelda and Shadow looked at each other for a second, before attacking him. "Bet'cha on land they understand, bet they don't reprimand their daughters." A guard ran out, clearly furious. "Bright young women, sick of swimmin'. Ready to stand!" The Zora princess gazed up, as though she could see the three running and laughing. "And I'm ready to know what the people know!" Midna and Emily drifted by in their imp forms. "Ask 'em my questions and get some answers! What's a fire and why does it - what's the word? Burn!" She twirled as Majora kissed Dark over her head.

"When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?" An older Link and Midna walk out, holding hands. "Out of the sea, wish I could be part of that world!" Vaati perched on a branch on a tree while Em read a book at its base. The upper stage faded back into blackness.

Ruto sighed, "Out of the sea, wish I could be part of your world…"

**While Ruto walks off stage…**

Me: I say Vaati's singing _Colors of the Wind_.

Em: But…That's a girl's song! Why should he?

Me: Because I find the other one more irritating.

Vaati: *as he walks out on stage* *mumbling* I'm not dancing.

Me: *calling from the audience* That's okay! I've got something else arranged.

The stage, oddly enough, remained a stage. A huge screen lowered behind Vaati as he stepped up to the mic.

(A/N: It _is_ a girl's song. Here it is being sung: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=4i0HDygKdLM)

"You think I'm an ignorant savage. And you've been so many places, I guess it must be so." The screen showed a picture of Vaati's Minish form laying face-down in the dirt, with two much larger boys standing over him and laughing.

"But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me…How can there be so much that you don't know?  
"You don't know..." It showed him crying in a library. A large portion of the audience went "aww…"  
"You think you own whatever land you land on. The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature," The younger Vaati was curled up next to a kitten. "Has a life, has a spirit, has a name."  
"You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you." The Vaati on the screen was punched by a normal Minish.

"But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger," now he was climbing a blade of grass… "You'll learn things you never knew you never knew." The pale Minish was shown stargazing from the top of a rock  
"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?" The sorcerer was Hylian again, perched on top of a mountain, enjoying a strong wind.

"Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?" He held a baby Helmaroc.  
"Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?" The screen showed a scrolling aerial shot of Hyrule. "Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"  
"Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest!" The picture of him climbing grass came on again.  
"Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the Earth!" The young Minish held what looked like a cranberry in both hands, with bright red juice dripping down his chin.  
"Come roll in all the riches all around you! And for once, never wonder what they're worth!" a short clip of him jumping in a pile of leaves, with Ezlo laughing in the background.  
"The rainstorm and the river are my brothers!" The Wind Mage lounged in a whirlwind.  
"The heron and the otter are my friends!" He perched on the Helmaroc King's back.

"And we are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never ends." This: http:/humanoid-magpie(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/Goddesses-of-the-triforce-57855522

"How high will the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know." Minsh Vaati, walking along a branch, grinning.  
"And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon!" On screen, he knelt, blood-soaked and sobbing. More "aww"s rose from the crowd.  
"For whether we are white or copper skinned," A Minish classroom, with Vaati and several other students raising their hands.  
"We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains!" The Hylian held up a map to a Goron, clearly asking for directions.  
"We need to paint with all the colors of the wind." A Rito girl soared across the ocean.  
"You can own the Earth, and still," On-screen, the young Vaati stood up to a bully.  
"all you'll own is earth, until," Ezlo placed a hand on a very startled-looking Vaati's shoulder.  
"you can paint with all the colors of the wind…" A softly lit picture of his Hylian form, smiling in his sleep.

Security escorted him from the stage. The author had given the fairies clothes backstage, and made them Hylian-sized. Tatl stepped up to the microphone, wearing an elegant, floor-length yellow ballgown. The others stayed off stage.

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0)

Tatl smiled at the audience. "Just a small town girl," Navi walked on, dressed in jeans and a white angora sweater. She sat down on a bench. "livin' in a lonely world. She took the midnight train goin' anywhere. Just a city boy," Tael sat down next to her, dressed in sweats and a black T-shirt. "born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train goin' anywhere." The light on Tatl dropped.  
Navi leaned against Tael, and sang, "A singer in a smoky room," A light behind them went on, to show Celia, dressed in a baby-pink sun-dress. "the smell of wine and cheap perfume…" Leaf stepped up in a tux and offered Celia a hand. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on and on…" Celia accepted, and Leaf pulled her into a dance. The light went down on Navi and Tael.

Leaf smiled. "Strangers, where to? Walking down the boulevard? Shadows searching in the night… Streetlights, people." Three other spot lights went on, one on Tatl, one on Navi and Tael, and one on Neri, who was wearing a black skirt, blue tank-top and glasses. "Living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the night…"  
Neri walked over and offered him a glass of wine, which Leaf accepted. "Working hard to get my fill. Everybody wants a thrill." She glanced over her shoulder at Navi and Tael, who were now kissing, and pulled a face. "Payin' anything to roll the dice, just one more time.

"Some will win, some will lose." Leaf tried to kiss Celia and got a slap. "Some are born to sing the blues. Oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on…"

Tatl laughed. "Strangers, where to? Looking down the boulevard? Shadows searching in the night… Streetlight people."

Celia flicked open a cell phone and sang, "Living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the night…"

Tael pulled away from Navi and opened a cell phone. He frowned, and answered. "Don't stop believin'. Hold on to that feelin'! Streetlight people…"

Navi leaned forwards again and joined him. "Don't stop believin'. Hold on! Streetlight people…"

Neri placed a comforting hand on Celia's shoulder and smiled. "Don't stop believin'. Hold on to that feelin'! Streetlight people…"

As they left the stage, Dark raised his hand.

Me: Yes?

Dark: Can I play the bass-line for Ganon's song?

Me: You play base?

Dark: I had seven years to fill up, what did you think I did?

Me: …Do you have an electric bass?

Dark: Uh-huh.

Me: Um…Okay.

Dark: *runs backstage*

Em: Learn something new every day, huh?

Me: Most of it useless. *yelling* GANON! GET YOUR SORRY REAR UP THERE!

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=2QJxtf1hO1k)

Dark dashed out with a blood-red electric bass and played the intro while several self-proclaimed "rockers" in the audience shouted the opening "OI!"s.

Ganondorf shuffled out onto the stage and glared at the audience. He picked up the mic, and started. "See me ride out of the sunset, on your colored TV screen. Out for all that I can get, if you know what I mean." He winked. The author dashed to a trashcan, and threw up.

Several Gerudo walked out and circled around as Ganon continued, "Women to the left of me, and women to the right. Ain't got no gun, ain't got no knife. Don't you start no fight."

He stomped his foot and pointed at the ceiling. The glitter cannons went off. "Cos I'm T.N.T.! I'm dynamite! T.N.T.! And I'll win the fight! T.N.T.! I'm a power-load! T.N.T.! Watch me explode!"  
The women left and the background shifted to the Gerudo Desert. Ganondorf strutted back and forth across the stage. "I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean. I'm a wanted man. Public Enemy Number One, understand?" He winked again, causing several others to join the author at the trashcan. "So lock up your daughter, lock up your wife. Lock up your back door, and run for your life! The man is back in town! So don't you mess around!"

He struck what he must have thought was a "rock-star pose" (And cue glitter cannons!). "Cos I'm T.N.T.! I'm Dynamite! T.N.T.! And I'll win the fight! T.N.T.! I'm a power-load! T.N.T.! Watch me explode!"

Dark waved his hands to get the audience to clap, and the wanna-bes helped Ganon out with the "OI!"s again.

"T.N.T.!" (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.!" (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.!" (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.!" (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.! I'm dynamite! (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.! And I'll win the fight! (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.! I'm a power-load! (OI! OI! OI!)  
"T.N.T.! Watch me explode!"

The author stumbled onto the stage, wiping her mouth.

Me: Ugh…he disgusts me… New rule: Ganon cannot and will not ever sing again. No, wait! *grabs Dark's arm* You're on next!

Dark: What?

Me: *shows him Dare list*

Dark: Oh, cool! I love _I Am All of Me_!

Me: Good for you! *dashes off stage*

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=1wPUNMhDz7I)

Dark grinned as he walked up to the microphone. "I see no, hear no evil. Black writings on the wall." He waved one hand to the side. "Unleashed a million faces, and one by one they fall.

"Black hearted evil," He tapped his chest with a sly smile. "Brave hearted hero. I am all, I am all, I am. I-I-I I am."

"Here we go buddy, here we go buddy, here we go. Here we go buddy, here we go."

"Go ahead and try to see through me," he beckoned, "Do it if you dare! One step forward, two steps back. I'm here! One step forward, two steps back…"

"Do it... Do it... Do it... DO IT! Can you see all of me?" he cocked his head to the side. "Walk into my mysteries? Step inside and hold on for dear life!

"Do you remember me? Capture you, or set you free?" Dark shrugged. "I am all, I am all of me. I am all, I am all of me.  
"I am... I am, I'm all of me, I am... I am, I'm all of me, I am... I am, I'm all of me…" He leaned forwards and whispered "Here we go…  
"I see and feel the evil. My hands will crush 'em all!" Dark clench his fists. "You think you have the answer? I'll laugh and watch you fall!  
"Black hearted evil," He grinned and fingered the hilt of his sword. "Brave hearted hero. I am all, I am all I am. I-I-I I am."  
"Here we go buddy, here we go buddy, here we go. Here we go buddy, here we go."  
Dark propped his chin on his fist, and managed to look serious. "Go ahead and try to see through me. Do it if you dare! One step forward two steps back. I'm here. One step forward, two steps back.  
"Do it..." he cocked his head to the side, "Do it..." he straightened up, "Do it... DO IT!" he drew his sword and stabbed it into the stage. "Can you see all of me? Walk into my mysteries?" Dark threw up his hands and snarled, "Step inside and hold on for dear life!

"Do you remember me? Capture you or set you free? I am all, I am all of me. I am, I am all of me.

"I am... I am, I'm all of me. I am... I am, I'm all of me. I am... I am, I'm all of me." In a hoarse whisper, he added "Here we go...  
"I am... I am everyone, everywhere, anyhow, any way, any will, any day!  
"I am... I am everyone, everywhere, anyhow, any way, any will, any day!  
"I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!"  
A dark shadow on the back of the stag roiled and spat like burning oil. Dark grit his teeth. "Do it... Do it... Do it... Do IT! Can you see all of me? Walk into my mysteries? Step inside and hold on for dear life!

"Do you remember me? Capture you, or set you free? I am all, I am all of me! I am, I am all of me!

"I am... I am, I'm all of me! I am... I am, I'm all of me! I am... I am, I'm all of me!

"I am, I am, I'm all of me!" He stomped his foot, and the shadow swept forwards and engulfed him. An evil, rumbling laugh echoed through the room.

The author stepped up on a clear section of the stage.

Me: Great performance, Dark!

The dark shadow vanished to reveal Dark Link standing there and beaming.

Dark: Thanks! *rejoins the rest of the cast*

The curtain dropped.

Me: *yanks his sword out of the stage and fixes it (stage, not the sword) with the help of AWESOME AUTHOR POWERS* Majora wants me to tell you that she's _not_ happy with her song, but she'll do it to, quote, "screw with their heads." *walks off*

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=iHKMSUKIc9w&feature=related)

The curtain rose to show Majora kneeling on the stage, holding her mask in her hands. She sung very softly, "Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart."  
Agitha walked out, dressed as a maid, carrying a large mirror. Majora glanced up, revealing streaky make-up and blinked. "Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" She waved for Agitha to leave. The girl left the mirror.

Majora lurched to her feet, the patterns of the mask flickered over her skin. "I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am!" She glanced over to the mirror, and rested the tips of her fingers on its surface. "Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" The Ikana girl clenched one fist over her heart and briefly closed her eyes.

"There's a heart that must be free to fly. That burns with a need to know the reason why…Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel? Must there be a secret me, I'm forced to hide?"

She opened her eyes, but bowed her head. "I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my reflection show who I am inside?" Majora slumped against the mirror and raised her eyes to the heavens. "When will my reflection show who I am inside?"

She remained demure as she left the stage.

Me: *puffs onto stage* *stares after Majora* I think I like her better flirty, joking and bloodthirsty…*shakes head* We're going to have to skip Zelda and Midna because 1) They've already gone once, 2) Zelda's song annoys me and 3) I'm tired. Sorry, but at this point those are looking like pretty good reasons. *walks off*

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=GWNdbTr6bbE)

The screen lowered again as Link and Saria stepped up on stage. A thin wall appeared between them. On Link's side, the stage changed to look like a street in Castle Town, while Saria's became the Sacred Forest Meadow. A thick hush fell over the audience. Pictures of the two of them playing and laughing began to play across the screen.  
Saria sat down on her stump and raise her face towards the heavens. "When I am down and all my soul so weary…When troubles come and my heart burdened me…Then, I am still and wait here in the silence," She picked up her ocarina and smiled. "until you come and sit awhile with me…"

Link joined her on the chorus, their voices filling the room. "You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, when I am on your shoulders…You raise me up, to more than I can be."

Saria sighed and fell silent. Link leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "There is no life, no life without its hunger…Each restless heart beats so imperfectly…But when you come and I am filled with wonder…" He smiled tenderly, and pulled a leaf out of his pocket. "sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity…"

Saria slid off the stump to kneel in the grass. She picked a small flower, and pressed it against her heart as she joined Link on the chorus. "You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, when I am on your shoulders…You raise me up, to more than I can be."

She walked over and leaned against the wall, making it appear to the audience that they were back to back. After a second, the two sighed and tuned to face the wall, pressing their hands against it in an attempt to reach each other. The instrumental part ended, and they sang together again,

"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, when I am on your shoulders…You raise me up, to more than I can be. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains! You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas! I am strong, when I am on your shoulders…You raise me up, to more than I can be."

Simultaneously, they turned their backs to the wall and slumped to the floor. The soft lighting caught a glisten of tears on their faces. "You raise me up...to more than I can be."

* * *

...In other news, we have passed the 20,000 word mark. In thirteen chapters. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CHAPTERS IT TOOK IN THE WHITE WOLF?

Em: *coughTWENTYSEVENcough*

I heard that!

Em: *sweatdrop* Please R&R.


	14. It's freezing outside!

Disclaimer: ...To hell with this! I'm not even doing a "see previous" anymore!

Today sucked! I go to an art club on Fridays, and it's supposed to go until four. Well, _today_ there was a small fire in the school, not even enough to set off the alarms, and they kicked us all out at 20 'til. My ride didn't get there until 4:12. I think I even got minor frostbite, because my fingers and toes _hurt_ when I got warm again! So here's your chapter, I'm going to bed.

* * *

_Hey, Ganondorf. Long time no see. Today's all you.  
Ganondorf: walk into a Ganondorf- and Ganon-proof cell, then have msf unleash the fangirls. msf, lock the door behind the fangirls so he can't get out unless you teleport him.  
Tingle: Ganon stole all the money and shiny things in the world. Including yours. What're you gonna do?  
Ganondorf: wear a neon pink dress, then go revisit your fangirls.  
Ganondorf: what are you gonna look like in Skyward Sword (you don't have to do that, msf, I just want to know and it's been bugging me)  
msf: transform Ganondorf into a fangirl  
Vaati: use that laser you got last chapter on the new Ganondorf.  
And finally:  
Everyone: beat up Ganondorf so much that he wishes he was dead.  
If you're wondering, I just got the crap kicked out of me in OoT: MQ by Ganon. Four times. Revenge is sweet._

_-TheBrick_

Ganondorf: **{CENSORED}** *walks into the magic-proof room*

Me: *slams and locks the door behind him* Three…two…

A shock wave shook the studio.

Me: The fangirls have been released.

Tingle: WHAT? Tingle-tingle-Kooloo-Limpah! *kicks down door and runs into the melee*

Me: *fixes and seals the door behind him* I hope they both die. From what I've heard, Ganon won't be in Skyward Sword. Ain't it great?

**Ten minutes later…**

Me: *teleports the fangirls out of the studio and opens the door* *eyes widen* Ooh… *slowly closes it again* Well, he's in his ballerina dress again…and he looks kinda like a balding, fifty-something fangirl…

Em: Is he dead?

Me: He can't die, remember? (Wish he could…) He does look pretty close though.

Everyone: *pauses for a second before charging into the magic-proof room to make Ganondorf _suffer_*

**Another ten minutes later…**

_Shad: What? You don't think I'm a rabid fangirl, do you? Because I'm not! I'm a normal fangirl. *hugs Shad* And, why, exactly, do you have a dagger, if you can't fight?  
Ganondork: Kill Link in front of his rabid fans. You can't harm them.  
Ruto, Ilia: Jump into Death Mountain.  
Link: Sorry. Who do you like more, Ruto or Ilia? And I want a real answer. Don't worry, they can't hear._

_-Wildheart_

Shad: *blush* Ahaha…it makes a very good bookmark…

Ganondorf: *in the fetal position in the magic-proof room* pain…so much pain…

Majora: *raises hand* I'LL DO IT!

Em: No.

Majora: *pouts* Can I push the canon-fangirls into the lava, then?

Em: Um…sure.

Majora: Yay! *warps herself, Ilia and Ruto to Death Mountain Crater*

Link: Um…Ilia doesn't try to force herself on me.

Majora: *appears streaked in soot* Back!

Me: What did you do on the way?

Majora: Nothin'…

Me: *facepalm* Then what did you do, roll in a fireplace? *goes to fix up Hyrule*

_With all due respect, I might be skipping the karaoke chapter. I don't like it when long songs get put into ToDs. I'll be back next time.  
Truths:  
Ruto-on what grounds do you claim that all Links are yours?  
Ashei-are you aware that the pigs are coming to steal you icicle roosters?  
Ezlo-would you recommend Link's head to fleas or ticks?  
Dares:  
Vaati-turn into a Keaton and try to steal Tingle's Rupees.  
Moe the Moblin-eat Ganondorf.  
Random prayer dude from TP-Give Link back his money, plus your hat.  
...All my base are belong to me._

_-Foxpilot_

Ruto: *is revived in studio* He's engaged to me, and all the others are just reincarnations of him.

Em: But _you're_ already married.

Ruto: …I'm princess of the Zora, I can do whatever the hell I want!

Em: *slaps her* Stop lying to yourself.

Ashei: …What what what now?

Ezlo: Neither! I have to sit up there too, you know! …Besides, he's already had lice.

Link: *attempts to strangle Ezlo*

Vaati: I only have three forms, you know.

Majora: *enchants the Keaton Mask and hands it to Vaati*

Vaati: *glances suspiciously at Majora and puts on the mask*

**Let's skip the screaming and writhing in pain…**

Majora: Hey, it worked!

Keaton Vaati: *glares at her from floor*

Me: *glomps him* OMG, HE'S SO FLUFFY AND PURPLE AND CUTE!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Em: *polite cough*

Me: Huh? *realizes* Oh! Sorry! So sorry, Vaati, I wasn't thinking!

Keaton Vaati: *whimpers*

Em: *Helps him up and takes off the mask* It's not like it matters, anyway. Tingle's dead. Very, Very dead.

Moe: Yes'm *lurches into magic-proof room*

Link: *looks up from now trying to squish Ezlo* …When'd the talking monster get here?

Ezlo: *from behind Emily's slipper* Did you like my little cameo there? I already gave back Link's rupees, anyway. That's why I'm flat broke.

_Dares:  
link: I dare you to have a heartfelt conversation with ganondorf  
Ganondorf: see the above dare  
Tingle: I hate you and you creep me out. You will have a beheading and link gets to be executioner. Also you have to wear a buissness suit instead of you gay a** costume that wear so much.  
Ruto: become emo for a chapter  
Zelda: since you are waaaaaaaaay cooler than process peach from the mario games, you get the best damn cookie you ever come across and you don't have to share.  
Vatti: you will meet the celeb you hate the most and then you have to go to starbucks with him/her  
Navi and Tatl: create an army of faries and invade any country you see fit. The only catch is you both will have to fight oboma. Why? Because it will be hilarious!  
Zant: I hate you for appearing bad a** only for it turn out that you were a pansy. As punishment you have to wear a ballerina's outfit while being fed to the alligators. I will ressurect Steve irwin to be the one that feeds them. Crikey!  
Midna: corrupt the world with only your awesomeness and afterwards you can have a bunny  
-MEGZARIE- over and out_

_-megzarie_

Link: Ganon's being digested right now, but I can have a heartfelt conversation with Ezlo when I catch him, if you like. *makes a dive for the Minish*

Em: *kicks the Hero* Get off the floor and away from my skirt, you idiot!

Link: *realizes every girl except the author is wearing a skirt*

Tingle: *is very, very dead*

Me: *secretly celebrating how dead Tingle is*

Ruto: *experiences a sudden mood change and skulks off to the girls dressing room*

Zelda: Sweet. *accepts cookie*

Me: I wanna cookie!

Em: *slaps the author on the back of the head* _You're_ already on sugar-high.

Me: *muttering* Not tonight, I'm not.

Vaati: Wha-*is warped out*

Navi: But we're on the good side!

Tatl: Yeah! Both of us, now!

Navi: And faeries can't carry weapons, anyway! Why do you think we all have a much larger partner?

Zant: *humming bad rock* *looks up* Wha-*remains long enough for Midna too take a picture of him in Ganondorf's ballerina dress, then warped out*

Majora: This I gotta see! *warps after him*

Me: Well, I'd rather not. *suddenly finds herself the only one in the room who's capable of warping* Oh c'mon!

Midna: *cuddles with her new bunny*

_I'm happy I could help and for this weeks dares  
my dare for young link attached to the song list still stands  
Ganondorf: you must listen to the most horrible music video of all time . His TnT song. and if he survieves everyone gets to blow him up with a bazooka.  
Majora: what is your favorite song?  
Vatti: Sorry about the colors of the wind thing i was trying to make the songs match the characters so i give the pass that lets you skip all the dares and truths for this week only.  
Ruto: I clone Link and turn the clone into a zora for you.  
Em: I dare you to go on a date with vatti. (note the pass does not let him out of this on because i say so)  
Young Link: give Saria a kiss.  
Navi : I 3 U : )  
Truths  
Saria & Link : how was the kiss & why were you crying at the end of the song.  
Navi: Are you afraid of me?  
Sophie: how well did I match the songs to the characters?_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Me: *revives Ganondorf, because this is too good to pass up* *locks the door before he can get out and creates a bullet-proof window*

Everyone left: *crowds around as Ganondorf's TNT performance plays on the TV*

**Pause**

Link: …Is he singing along?

Skull Kid: 's what it looks like…

Percy: For the love of the goddesses, he's _still _trying to rock out!

The window vanished.

Me: I've seen enough. *summons the magic users*

Majora: *wearing a big, happy smile* That was…very nice.

Em: *looking disturbed* *points to Majora* Some one tell me how she can seem like a semi-normal person, but enjoy blood, guts, screaming, and the pain of others?

Me: She's a sadistic bitch.

Em: …Bluntly put.

Shadow: But very true.

Me: *shrugs and shows them the list*

Majora: Why, I'd have to say Pain by Three Days Grace.

Vaati: That's a pretty disturbing song…

Majora: But it suits me so well *walks away humming it*

Vaati: *snatches a piece of paper out of the air* Why couldn't this have arrived earlier?

Ruto: *dashes out of the dressing room, and grabs the new Zora Link* Sophie, can we go on a date? As in right now?

Me: Anything to get you to leave us alone. *warps them out*

Em: *very close to a squeal* Really? *composes herself* I-I mean…That sound nice, I guess. Um…

Me: *warps them out*

* * *

Emily and Vaati suddenly found themselves in Castle Town. A young couple walking by them muttered something about foreigners, causing the Twili girl to blush.

"Um, Vaats?"

The sorcerer turned. "Yeah Em?"

Her blush deepened. "I know you normally would go on rampages and stuff, but…"

He looked slightly offended. "I can be a gentleman! You know that!"

"Well, yes…"

"Come on. Let's just do this." Vaati grabbed his date's wrist and dragged her to the nearest restaurant.

**A few minutes later…**

The waiter tried to size p the two beings sitting before him. On was clearly Twili, and very embarrassed by the glances they kept getting. The other was pale enough to be related to her, but his red eyes had only one iris. Besides, only Hylians had purple hair.

"May I help you?"

"Um, yes," the girl murmured, "I'll have the fried cukoo with apple sauce, please." She glanced at her companion. "Vaats?"

"Hmm?" He looked up. "Oh, I'll just have a vegetable broth."

The waiter blinked. Vegetable broth wasn't very filling, so nobody ever ordered it on its own. "Anything else?"

"No-" the boy was interrupted.

"We'll order seconds if we're still hungry," the girl gave him a warm smile, "but we don't eat a lot."

The waiter nodded, and walked out with their order.

Vaati gave Em an appraising look. "Very well handled."

"No need to be blunt with people."

**Even later…**

Emily sighed happily as she watched the stars wink into view. "We don't get this at home…"

Vaati paused. To him, they were just stars. The Hylian tried to imagine what it was like to see stars only once or twice in your life and failed. Flopping down next to is friend, he gently took her hand.

Em felt her face go scarlet, and was very thankful for the darkness.

"Can you point? Good…" Vaati lifted her hand and pointed her fingers at a star. "That one's Vega. This one over here," he moved her hand so that she was pointing at a small diamond, "is called Nayru's Necklace. Up here," now she was pointing at a pale crescent of stars so close they were hard to tell apart, "is Farore's bow. It's from back when people thought she created the animals for hunting. Over here, right above Death Mountain peak you can still see Din's Eye. It's the reddish one…" Emily smiled as he named every star he knew, and then made up some new constellations. It wasn't exactly romantic, but it was still very sweet.

* * *

Link: *lightly kisses Saria*

Saria: *blush*

Navi: I like you too.

Saria: *still blushing* Well, I'd have to disagree with the other girls about Link's *blush deepens* k-kissing…and it's a very emotional song. I always cry at the end of it…

Link: …What she said.

Navi: *shakes her head* No.

Me: Where you didn't it was very funny, and for the most part you did.

_Hey Sophie. I've been reading you truth or dare and I have to say you're very creative, and talented at this. I have never done a review so I thought I would change that.  
Dares:  
Link, Vaati, and Ganondorf: Play multiplayer on Link's Crossbow training and the one with the highest score gets to enjoy a box of cookies with Sophie. the other two will suffer their fates.  
Link: If you lose you have to watch Ganondorf destroy Hyrule and you can't do a thing.  
Vaati: If you lose then you have to give your tunic/cape to Em and let her do whatever she wants to it for 2 hours.  
Ganondorf: If you lose then you have to be nice to everybody for a whole day and watch barney with Ilia for 2 hours.  
Midna: spend a day with Colin and go fishing.  
Zelda: Become a Ranch hand at Ordon.  
Ruto: Go to your personal Hell.  
Zant: Link has to pick the hardest bosses from Twilight Princess and You have to fight them.  
Garo King & Ikana King: Engage in epic sword fight and loser has to work at Best Buy and help out old people (if you work at Best Buy you know what I'm talking about!)  
Majora & Em: Spend an afternoon together and do everything on the 15 things to do in Walmart list. (if wanted have Calin go with them).  
Truths:  
Midna: how did it feel to go fishing?  
Ganondorf: Why do you always go for Hyrule? I mean seriously ever thought of starting small and working your way up?  
Majora: What do you do when you get bored?  
Skull Kid: What is with you guys and flutes?  
Navi: Ever try saying something else besides Hey! Watch Out! Listen! Hello!  
Tatl & Tael: Why do you guys ring? I mean is that something you can change like a ringtone?  
Em: What did you do to Vaati's Tunic? (say after he puts it back on.)  
(Only if Vaati lost)._

_-Life by a Different Name_

Me: *revives Ganondorf*

Link/Vaati/Ganondorf: *settle down to play a long, competitive game*

**Roughly half a hour later…**

Link: *shoots to his feet and throws his hands above his head* I WIN! TAKE THAT!

Ganondorf: …How'd that happen?

Link: _That_ is what happens when you go on multiple quests with random people yelling nonsense at you and having to decipher it! _That_ made all that work worth it!

Vaati: *groans and strips off his tunic* *hands it to Emily* Here.

Em: *staring at Vaati* *shakes her head violently* Oh. Um…yes. Thanks. I think…

Vaati: *ignores her stuttering and shuffles off*

Link: *goes off to eat his cookies*

Ganondorf: *being dragged into the backroom by Majora and Telma again* NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! SHE'S HORRIBLE! SHE ACTUALLY _LIKES_ IT! *is tossed in with the rejuvenated Ilia and a TV set to a Barney marathon*

Midna: *puts a hand on Colin's shoulder* Let's go.

Colin: Do you know how to fish?

Midna: …No, can you teach me? *warps both of them to the fishing hole*

Zelda: Um…okay? *finds herself in peasant clothes and is warped to Ordon*

Ruto: *finds herself trapped in the world of pairing fanfictions (pairing Link with everyone _but_ her)*

Link: *ticks them off on his fingers* Argarok, the Armored Lizard in the Ice Ruins, and Zant himself were all either weirdly hard, painful or irritating.

Zant: NO!NO!NO! *throws a bit of a hissy fit*

Em: SECURITY!

Security dragged Zant to the fangirl pit (A/N: the fangirl pit is now the official punishment for not doing a dare)

Me: *turns the stage into a gladiator pit and drops the two combatants in*

Igos: *looks around* What's going on?

Majora: FIGHT!

Igos: Majora? Is that you?

Garo Master: *looks up* So it is. Say, Princess, what's going on? How are you still flesh?

Majora: *goes shockingly pale, especially for some one of her skin tone* I-I don't know what you're talking about! Fight! That's what you're here for!

Igos: Now I'd recognize you _anywhere _Majora. *takes a step forwards* What's going on, sis?

Majora: SHUT UP! *promptly returns to her mask*

Em: *picks up the mask and looks at it* Wow, she got really upset about that, didn't she?

Skull Kid: *pokes the mask* Well, she doesn't like to talk about her past…

Me: *points to the two in the pit* Like she said though, you guys gotta fight or face the fangirls.

Igos: How can I fight? I'm a spirit! I'm not even a stalfos anymore!

Garo Master: I could never fight my master! It is the way of the Garo to follow to the death and beyond!

Me: …You Garo are sort of dumb, aren't you? You can't do anything for a dead royal family!

Garo Master: No one shall defile Ikana's sacred grounds! Besides, if the princess is still around, they aren't all dead.

Em: *holds up mask* Majora's a spirit who lives in here. She may not be dead, but she's not alive either.

Me: We're boring the readers! Will you two fight or not?

Igos/Garo Master: Not.

The bottom of the gladiator pit opened into the fangirl pit below. As those two fell in, Linebeck and Zant crawled out, gasping, ragged, and miserable. Security escorted them to their rooms.

Em: *shakes the mask* Their gone, Majora.

Majora seemed to drop out of the mask, accompanied by a cloud of green smoke.

Majora: *sitting awkwardly on the floor* Ah. Good. Never mention that again. *stands and dusts herself off* We got a Dare?

Em: *nod* Both of us.

Majora: Yuri?

Em: Um…no…

Me: *shoves the list in Majora's face*

Majora: …What's this "15 things to do in Walmart list"?

Me: *deep breath*

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee, tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

13. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

14. Stage a conversation with your shadow. When you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.

15. Go to the kitchen section, pick up a butcher knife. Then go up to an employee and ask "Where are the anti-depressants?"

Majora: …You've memorized it, have you?

Me: I actually intend to be able to check off every one of these from my list some day.

Majora: *shrugs*

Majora/Em: *warped out*

**Next Day**

Me: Now that we're all back from our various exploits, let's move on with the list, shall we?

Midna: It was very peaceful. And Colin's very cute.

Ganondorf: I _did_ start small; I was king of the Gerudo.

Majora: Kill stuff. Cause chaos.

Skull Kid: What d'ya mean? Everyone in the forest can play some instrument, but it's a safety tool. You won't get mistaken for a stalfos if you're palyin' music.

Navi: When people bother to listen to me, yes. I try to give helpful advice.

Tatl: Ringing gets people's attention faster than yelling. And yes, we can change it to sound like different types of bells.

Tael: *nodnod*

Em: *hands Vaati his tunic*

Vaati: *slides back into it* Anything?

Em: Well, I put it through the wash. But I don't think that's what he's asking about…

Vaati: *discreetly sniffs his (clean!) tunic* Was it dirty?

Em: Well, you'd been wearing it for two days…

Vaati: *sweatdrop* 


	15. Tired

Weekend. Yes.

You know how when some people are tired, they say "I feel like I've been run over by a dump truck/cement mixer!" Yes? No? Well, I feel like I've been run over by the whole FREAKIN' _**CONSTRUCTION SITE!**_

_

* * *

...Did Moe the Moblin just call me a girl? Okay, time to torture that pathetically small brain.  
Truths:  
Stallord-a tornado hits the Arbiter's Grounds. What do you do?  
Random Forest Minish #6-is it boring living in a forest glade for centuries at a time?  
Ruto-so if the upcoming Link in Skyward Sword comes before OoT Link, how do you claim -him-?  
Dares:  
Moe-see below.  
Moe-see above.  
Moe-Two trains are leaving their stations at the same time. One train is heading west from Tallahassee Florida at 50 MPH. The other is leaving Sacramento and going north at 80 MPH. When will the two trains explode from a cataclysmic earthquake set off by Pig Ganon's ugly face?  
Have fun with that last one-I don't even think I know the answer._

_-Foxpilot_

Stallord: *coughs a small fire ball* grrrROAR! (A/N translation: Burrow under the sand!)

Samantha: *cocks head to the side* Not really. The forest is an exiting place. Why?

Ruto: If my Linky is a reincarnation of him, then later on he will be promised to me and that makes him mine *squee's*

Moe: *acts like a bobble head until the author gets irritated and grabs him by the tusks*

Me: *looks straight into those stupid, piggy eyes* Next. *lets go*

Moe: *looks very confused*

Vaati: *grin* Instantaneously!

Me: Excellent deduction!

Vaati: eep! *goes invisible*

_damn it... Why do all the people i want to get killed by my dares get killed by sombodyelse's dares ? Oh well, onward to the dares and stuff! All these dares below are for people who are supposed be alive. If the person who needs to do a dare is somehow already dead they will revived.  
Link: for this chapter you get a break from all dares and you will receive the best brownie in the world. Let no one else have it.  
Zelda: how was your cookie? Anyway i dare you to have dance dance revoultion with gannondorf. Winners get a pie of their choice  
Gannondorf: see above dare  
Vatti: you should have a dual with majora if you win, you may have an ipad  
Majora: see above dare  
Midna: do you like your bunny? What are going to name it?  
Ruto: have a fellow zora help you with the worlds hardest crossword puzzle.  
Illia: what do you think you are getting for christmas? (you have answer if you dont celebrate this holiday)  
Argorock: have a dragon fight with volvagia  
Volvagia: do the above dare_

_-megzarie_

Link: *big grin* Thank you! *walks away with his brownie*

Zelda: It was wonderful.

The two began the contest, but Ganon kept tripping over his own feet. It didn't help that Majora had messed with the machine, either…

Majora: *evil laugh*

Zelda: Apple-berry-cinnamon-peach pie! *it appears, and she walks off looking very happy*

Em: …Zelda's sweet tooth competes with yours!

Me: Scary, isn't it?

Vaati: *waves hand, trapping Majora in a bubble of air* Well, that was easy.

Majora: NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! I DEMAND A REMATCH, WITHOUT HIS POWERS!

Em: You'd have to give up yours too.

Majora: *shuts up, but has a very sly look on her face*

Vaati: *looks at i-pad* Okay… This is good, right? *accepts it*

Midna: I shall name him Sunshine. *cuddles bunny* I like Sunshine very much.

Ruto: *is shoved into back room with Jared, the Zora from the diving game*

Jared: *bends over crossword* Three across is "Hyrule." Four down is… "Sand Goddess?" No, that doesn't fit. "Sand Temple?" Yes, that seems to work…

Rotu: *blankly stares at crossword*

Ilia: A foal, I hope!

Colin: But you ask for that _every_ year.

Ilia: Shut up! *goes off to pout*

Arorok: (A/N let's do the translation here. Translation: Why should we fight?)

Volvagia: (Translation: The fangirls are no match for us!)

Argorok: (Translation: In fact, I owe many of them payback for assisting the Hero in defeating me!)

Volvagia: (Translation: Here here!)

Me: Before you two go in the fangirl pit for avoiding what could have been the most epic fight ever, I think I'll even the odds. *snaps fingers*

Argorok/Volvagia: *engulfed in a puff of purple smoke*

When the smoke cleared, two boys were where the dragons had been. Where Volvagia was stood a young man with long, feathery red hair and cat-like orange eyes. He wore a red kimono with orange ribbons and golden embroidery. A black headband wrapped around his head. In Argorok's place sat a teen boy. His eyes were glazed over, but he wore light-weight black armor. Simple gold gauntlets covered his hands. His hair was much shorter, and under his armor plates you could just make out a dark red T-shirt and black leggings, resulting in a much more modern appearance.

Me: Aren't they just the cutest? I simply _adore_ coming up with humanoid designs for the "monsters"!

Em: You mean… *points from one boy to the other and back again*

Me: Yep! That's *points to redhead* Volvagia, and that's *points to teen* lil' Argy!

Argorok: What did you do to us?

Majora: *tweaks his now pointy ear* Made you Hylian, I presume.

Argorok: *snaps at her hand*

Majora: *snatches it back* That's so cute, you think that'll seriously hurt me!

Volvagia: *holds out hands as though he were being handcuffed* You got us. In my opinion, being grounded is punishment enough.

Me: *shakes head* I've got to stick to my rules. Anyway, Argy's still got his wings.

Argorok: Really? *large, leathery red wings shoot out of his back* Awesome!

Majora: *practically purring* Facinating…

Security marched the two off t the fangirl pit. They returned with the Garo Master and Igos du Ikana, looking none the worst for wear. Majora vanished into the crowd.

_Alright, I officially love this fic, so I'm handing out thruths and dares:  
Dares:  
Ganon: Kill Zant. I dislike him.  
Link: Fall in love with Ruto for a a day. I support you two, even if no one else does.  
Ruto: Get into a princess fight with Zelda. Winner's kingdom gets control over Termina.  
Zelda: Lose the princess fight.  
Mikau (MM): Play an epic guitar solo in front of everyone.  
Truths:  
Link: Be honest. Why don't you like Ruto, and you can't answer anything like "Just because" or "She's creepy."  
Midna: What do you think of Ilia? Do you find her a constant stress-inducer like I do?  
Ilia: Move to Death Mountain.  
Zant: Are you sad that Hannah Montana is ending? Don't lie.  
Well, that's it for now. Later! RH2.0_

_-RawkHawk2.0_

Ganondorf: *skewers Zant*

Link: Um…Should I do my truth first?

Me: Yes.

Link: She's a stalker fangirl. Would you want to have a stalker fangirl? *is given a temporary love potion and warped to a fancy restaurant with Ruto*

The deed to Termina was warped after them. Link gave it to Ruto as a present later that night. Mikau's ghost played romantic music for them, and was thoroughly disgusted by the whole affair. Primarily because it looked like some kid was cozying up to his girlfriend (A/N: Lulu).

Midna: Yes. They cut most of her shameless flirting out of the game…

Ilia: *packs up her bags and does so*

Zant: *is dead*

Midna: He is. He cried over it.

_Shad: When your group (the Resistance) were helping Link when he was being attacked, what exactly did you do? Just curious.  
Ganondork: Meet Fluffy, my immortal keaton (the kind from Majora's Mask) who loves torturing pig men. Have fun.  
Link: Tell Ilia you hate horses._

_-Wildheart_

Shad: I was the one who did all the research. The others were too busy hiking all over Hyrule to even think about finding out what might be going on…

Ganondorf: *runs for his life*

Fluffy: Hee hoo! You cannot escape a keaton! *gives chase*

Link: *begins the long, hard hike to Death Moutain*

_yay time for more dares!  
Vatti since your pass came to late i'll give it one more chapter before it expires.  
Fairies: I give you all clothes because apparently you don't wear anything under your auras.  
Young Link: i'm not sure if this went through or not so once again i turn you into a Kokiri so Navi can remain your guardian. and now that you're a Kokiri i dare you and Saria to go out for a romatic evening together.  
Ganondorf : I warp you to a alternate universe were you are the king of Hyrule but not through violance but piece.  
Zelda: Some people speculate that you and Link are twins due to hair color age eye color and the fact neither of you have a mother to be know of. what would your reaction be if this was true.  
Ruto I now pronounce youand the zora Link clone I named Aquos husband and wife.  
Navi: You like me ! *gives her a hug and a kiss on tge forehead*  
Emily: you should tell Vatti how you feel about him. guys like it when girls tell them. being a guy i should know. This isn't a dare just advice._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Vaati: …

Navi/Tatl/Tael/Neri/Leaf/Celia/EVERY-#$%&ING-GREAT-FAIRY-IN-THE-GAMES: *Finds themselves fully clothed*

Me: Oops, I did change him. Just forgot to mention it.

Everyone: *stares at her*

Me: *sweatdrop*

Link: *recovers from love potion just in time to be warped to his date with Saria*

Ruto: *is warped back* How many husbands will you people give me before I get my Linky?

Me: Thousands *cackles, drawing more stares* What? I'm not allowed to be an anti-fangirl?

Navi: *blush*

Em: *glances around nervously* I…I can't. You see, I…we…he…

Me: Em, like many women, is terrified that if she tells him, he will either reject her or use her. And we all know Vaati's reputation.

Everyone except Vaati: *nods sagely*

Vaati: *didn't hear what just happened, and wonders what everyone's nodding about*

* * *

R&R


	16. Pics

This is exactly what the title says: an list of pictures. CHECK THEM OUT!

.

.

.

please?

* * *

Pics

Emily:

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d31ep9z (follow the [link]s in the artist's note)

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d31tnl0 (also has Midna, Majora, Zelda and me)

.

Will:

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d30o5aj

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d31tp4h (also has Vaati, Link and Ganondorf)

.

Majora:

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/?offset=24#/d30c9sa

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d30hy12

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d30pei1 (only viewable if you have a devart account)

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d33gi4r (yeah, I draw Majora too much...)

.

Argorok (Hylian):

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d34okbf (changed a few colors in his outfit)

.

Morpha and Morpheel:

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d361obv

.

Bongo Bongo:

http:/msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/gallery/#/d378g62

* * *

There's a Skyward Sword poll on my profile. That is all.


	17. Merry Late Christmas

My life...it steals all my time...

.

* * *

_Sorry... My email's been eating my alerts and not spitting them back out again... I missed the last chapter!  
Unfortunately, that means more stuff! Some obscure characters this time.  
Truths  
Cremia: Are you a pedophile? (youtube .com watch? v=cGyHJ qrXcSo  
(remove spaces))  
Link: did you catch a disease from the prostitutes in Zelda II (the healing ladies)?  
Zelda: did you know of all the sexual innuendo in Spirit Tracks? All the "tap me!"s? You're lucky I wasn't drinking anything when I read that the first time!  
Link Again: are you scarred for life from all of the ReDeads trying to hump you? If not that, the Great Fairies?  
Nabooru: would you "do it" with Link? My evidence: "If I'd known you would have grown up to look this good, I would have kept my promise."  
Old Man From Zelda I: how the hell do you know so much? Do you follow Link or something? Is that why you appear in pretty much every dungeon?  
Tingle: are you gay? If yes, no offense to gay people.  
Ilia: Do you have a bestiality fetish?  
Postman: postman = ...something...  
Dares  
Mido: go hump a rock.  
Vaati: try and steal some of Gorman's alchoholic milk and see what he does. BTW, he's probably drunk.  
Nabooru: would you "do it" with Link?  
Gabora: kill that guy who bosses you around whose name I forget. Then have a cookie. You deserve it, for committing murder.  
Romani: Catfight. You and Malon.  
? (I don't know his name, but he's the guy in the toilet in Clock Town in MM): Hold it. For life.  
Saria, Darunia, Impa: have a cookie. And a brownie. And a life's supply of chocolate. You deserve it, since you're the only cool ones in the Seven Sages, other than Zelda.  
Midna: see above, except just because you're not annoying, like certain fairies or a certain boat or a certain hat or a certain owl or a certain... you know what I mean.  
Epona: see above, except carrots, since I don't think horses can eat chocolate...  
Agitha: you now have all the golden bugs that ever existed. But you're still creepy.  
Link: Go beat every single boss from your video game career in less than 24 hours. Yes, I love you too. I'll be nice, and not make you fight Ganon until the end. However, he must use every form of every video game he's been in.  
Ganondorf/Ganon: see above.  
P.S. I feel bad for you, getting run over by a train, but look on the bright side: at least it wasn't a planet. Course, you'd be dead, so that wouldn't help. I would cry._

_-TheBrick_

Cremia: *crosses arms* No!

Link: Um…I really hope not…

Zelda: *nod* You should have seen Link's face! Even after the third take, he'd still blush!

Link: Yes, Ocarina scarred me for life *shivers* Majora's Mask didn't help…

Majora: *evil laugh*

Em: You're just doing that because it's fun, aren't you?

Majora: Maybe. Maybe not.

Nabooru: He's half my age! No!

Old guy (A/N: I'm not making up a name for him): I am one of many people who follow the Hero.

Tingle: Tingle doesn't have time for romance! Tingle's too busy looking for fairies!

Ilia: No!

Postman: …?

Mido: *walks off muttering to himself*

Vaati: *swipes the bottle and warps out*

Gorman: It'ss miiilk! Juss miiilk!

Nabooru: …I already answered that.

Gabora: *swings hammer on his boss's head, takes cookie and runs*

Kid Malon/Romani: *fight*

Everyone else: *ignores them because they're just kids*

Me: We never learn his name. In the Bomber's Notebook, he's identified as ?

Saria/Darunia/Impa/Midna: *accept their sugary concoctions*

Saria: *stars eating right away*

Darunia: *politely hides them to throw out later* (A/N: Gorons eat rocks, remember?)

Impa: *nibbles on her cookie*

Midna: *nibbles on her brownie*

Epona: *sticks her head into a bag of carrots*

Link: *is warped out*

Ganondorf: *is warped out*

**23 hours later…**

Link: *is warped back, ripped clothes, bent shield and all* …I hate this. So much.

Me: Ganon?

Link: Is as close to dead as he'll ever be *goes to clean up*

_Shad: Here, have Fluffy. *gives Shad Fluffy (he likes protecting smart, scholary people)*  
Ganondork: Poke Shad. In front of his newfound bodyguard.  
Link: Marry Ruto.  
Midna, Zelda: Have a contest to see who is better._

_-Wildheart_

Shad: *pets Fluffy* Incredible…

Fluffy: *smiles*

Ganondorf: *is revived* *hits Shad*

Shad: Ow!

Fluffy: Hoo hoo! Bad move! *attacks*

Ganondorf: Save me, Din!

**Across the room…**

Din: *playing cards with the other two goddesses* No. Go fish.

**And back…**

Link: She may be a princess, but _I'm_ already married! Remember?

**Flashback to Chapter Eight:**

"_Link must marry Zelda."_

"Me: *points to Link and Zelda* You are now husband and wife. *rings materialize on their fingers*"

**Present:**

Link: And even though I like all the girls equally, I'm fairly sure Zelda would kill me.

Midna: *ticks points off on fingers* I can take care of myself, am taller, and have a better fashion sense. I'm also unusual, and I've got more attitude.

Zelda: I'm daintier, more polite, can use a bow, and any Sheikah weapon you can name. I've got the Triforce of Wisdom, am more mature, show up in more than one game and the series is named after me.

Midna: I think my taking care of myself trumps most of yours.

Zelda: You couldn't take care of yourself until _after_ I gave you part of the Triforce!

Midna/Zelda: *glare at each other*

_Humanoid bosses...Fascinating.  
Truths:  
Vaati-WHERE'S DA BEEF?  
WW Seahat-is it boring to patrol a five-foot section of sea continually?  
Random Town Minish #15-you know that putting on weight to return a book would probably lead to your untimely death as a splatter on the floor, right?  
Dares:  
Morpha-become a humanoid. And no, you don't get your jiggly skin.  
WW/PH Link-use the WInd Waker to launch the studio to Mount Everest.  
Midna-Beat Ganondorf in a tap-dancing contest. Keep trying until you win.  
Ah yes, the steamroller feeling. Well, the holidays are coming, so that means a break. Just hold out until then and you'll be fine._

_-Foxpilot_

Vaati: How should I know? There are cows at Lon Lon Ranch.

Random Seahat #8: *hovers there looking confused*

Sam: Link survives the fall, and we Minish are more durable than Hylians!

Morpha: *is engulfed in the purple smoke*

Morpha's Hylian form was markedly different from either Volvagia or Argorok. He looked like a little kid, with unnaturally pale skin, an ocean-blue rattail, and big, fluorescent green eyes. The ex-amoeba blinked at the crowd.

Morph: What?

Em: *points to him* Sophie! Why do you make the evil ones cute?

Me: Because it's fun!

Link: *spins the Wind Waker repeatedly*

The studio goes flying.

Me: *magically glues everyone to the walls* *warps out*

Studio collides with Mt. Everest. No one was seriously hurt, but the shockwave actually dislodged them from the walls.

Midna: *a little shaky* *does this routine: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=K3eMdOMqIL0)

Ganondorf: *does the most boring tap routine ever. Aka, this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=hADV4MoxsRU)

_muhahahahahahaha  
Im back!  
For the regular dares and truths:  
Link: play go fish with gannondorf and no cheating!  
Ganondorf: same dare as the above. Again no cheating please!  
Vats: what is favorite thing to do when you have free time?  
Ruto: hmm... Ok im not a huge fan of yours but you get to have your favorite dessert this chapter.  
Zelda: nice job beating gannondorf at dance dance revolution! I thought it was gonna be a closer competion though =). What is it REALLY being a princess? Do you like or is it kinda painfull? Sorry just curious...  
Midna: did you and em know each other before this fic? Oh and i dare you to battle the hardest boss you ever fought and defeat it\him\ her. Im sure you will win because you aare awesome like that!  
Zant: call up all your lady friends (if you have any) and invite them to give you a makeover. It will be hillarious... Or at least for me...  
Tingle: i still hate you. For that you must be tied up to a chair and be whacked by em with a baseball bat! Muhahahaha!  
Volvagia and Argrock: actually i never made it far enough in oot to beat you volvagia. Thats because im lazy. And i never acctually beat you in tp because my bro who awesome at video games wanted fight you instead. I let him because i wanted him to shut up... Which reminds me do either of you have siblings?  
Now for my special boss dare requests:  
Gohma and Armagohma: you must battle each other!  
Fyrus and Volvagia: Battle each other  
Morpha and Morpheel: you two pretty much have to fight each other.  
Odwalda and Bongo Bongo: fight  
King Ikana and Twin Rova:  
Guess what? you have to fight...sorry!  
That's it for now! Have fun yalls! If you dont then i guess it is what you make of it!_

_-megzarie_

Link/Ganondorf: *play Go Fish*

Link: *easily beats Ganondorf*

Vaati: I flirt. I cause chaos. Sometimes I turn the chaos into a full-fledged rampage.

Ruto: *omnoms on fish*

Zelda: Well, like anything sometimes it's a real pain, ad sometimes it's a lot of fun.

Midna: I visited her village on occasion. But we didn't know each other well.

Zant: Don't have none… *sniff*

Tingle: Wha-? *magically tied to chair*

Em: *now holding baseball bat* *whacks Tingle*

Tingle: *knocked out*

Everyone: *stare at Emily*

Em: What? The little creeper bothers me too!

The dragons-turned-Hylians were released from the fangirl pit.

Argorok: *fixing his armor* That should be illegal!

Me: *genuinely worried* Did they do anything illegal?

Volvagia: No, though not for lack of trying.

Me: *visibly relived* Oh good.

Argorok: "Oh good" what? We aren't used to these forms! We could have died!

Me: In which case, I could revive you. Legally, none of you exist, which is why I haven't been carted off to jail. The fangirls on the other hand… Well, there's only so many truly rabid fangirls in the world. It'd be hard to find replacements…

Volvagia/Argork: *glare*

Me: Now answer your question! *vanishes*

Volvagia: *reads it aloud* I don't think I do. Of course, please keep in mind I was dead for a few hundred years, and don't know what my parents were up to during that time.

Argorok: I've got a sister, but we never see each other. I think she's in Termina now…

Once again the studio was transformed into a gladiator pit. Ghoma and Armoghoma appeared in the ring.

Everyone: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Me: *eating a blueberry muffin*

Ghoma and Armoghoma immediately began laying eggs. When they hatched, the ghoma larvae and…whatever those little white spiders are called charged towards each other. The larvae cleared the spider horde with a single leap and coated Aromoghoma's back. Ghoma climbed a wall to escape her rival's children as Armoghoma ran in circles trying to shake off the tiny menaces on her (A/N: Armoghoma has to be a her, right? I mean, it lays eggs…) back. After five cycles, Armoghoma got smart, and lay down to let the tiny white spiders take care of the pests clinging to her fur and armor so that she could open her eye and take out her opponent. Unfortunately, she lay down directly beneath the wall Ghoma was perched on. Ghoma lept down, pried open the armored lid, and popped out Armoghoma's living eye. The small red spider hung beneath her claw, the body limp and helpless without it, desperately flailing its legs.

Me: *now eating candy cane* Oh! New rule! Looser becomes Hylian!

Suddenly, Ghoma was holding a twenty-something year old, very tan girl by her long, auburn hair. The woman wore a blood-red ankle-length gown, and was currently barefoot. Armoghoma's main body had also vanished.

Arma (A/N: It seems like a good nickname): OW! Put me down, you sorry excuse for an arachnid! *is unceremoniously dumped in the sand* *brushes self off, muttering* You older ghoma think you know everything, don't you? Stupid bi-*is teleported out with Ghoma, to be replaced by Darbus and Volvagia*

Darbus: I keep telling you people, I am not a monster!

Volvagia: It would be horribly unfair for us to fight either way. He's a Goron, or a flaming beast, and I'm either a Hylian not used to the form or a dragon large enough to eat him for breakfast.

Darbus: *eyes him* I am not a monster! And what's this talk about being a dragon?

Volvagia: Ever heard of the great fire-breather Volvagia, who used to guard Death Mountain?

Darbus: Yes…

Volvagia: *big grin*

Darbus: *somehow pales*

Both were then replaced with Morpha and Morpheel.

Morpheel: *flounders desperately*

Mopha: Ha ha, you can't breath out of water!

The arena was promptly filled with water. Mopha bobbed to the surface, and then…just kept going. The water followed him up, until it formed a pillar beneath him, leaving Morpheel floundering on the damp sand again.

Me: Play fair! *refills the arena*

Morpha: Play to win! *jerks the water-pillar to the side, down, and up again so that the only water in the arena is once again the base of his tower.*

With a sigh, the author took out all the water, and transformed Morpheel. The newly-Hylian creature sat up, grabbed her throat, and gasped for air. She was young, had dark, muddy-green hair that hung around her knees, and wore a dress made from blue-black scales. Like Morpha, she was unnaturally pale and had large, luminescent green eyes.

Morpha: *crashes into the sand* #$%&!

Me: *shakes head* Tch! Such language from one so young! *eats a Pocky*

Em: You're going to get fat, you know.

Me: This is my reality, the only thing I actually ate was the muffin. And the Pocky. I think I'll have another Pocky *summons one*

Morpha: *completely alright* *grabs Morpheel by the collar* Imposter! Using my name, and my title!

Morpheel: Don't blame me! I didn't ask to be born! *shoves him* Get your hands off of me!

Me: Alright, you two, break it up! Morpheel, you lost. *pauses* Oh, Morpheel, can you come up with a nickname for yourself? Your names are just too similar.

Morpheel: *crosses her arms* Hell no! It's my name! It's my temple! Make _him_ pick a nickname!

Morpha: Watch it, girly, I'm the original boss of the water temple! Ocarina clearly comes before Twilight Princess in the time line, which makes it my temple, which makes you my successor, which makes me better.

Morpheel: Even if that was true, you know what they say: the new replaces the old.

Me: NO TIMELINE THEORIES! *replaces them with the next group*

Odolwa and Bongo Bongo appeared in the ring. Once again, the crowd's voice rose; "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The author started playing the music from Woodfall Temple, and transformed the ring into Bongo Bongo's layer.

Em: *glances at the author*

Me: *with the starry-happy-fangirl look in her eyes (A/N: aka, shojo sparkles whirling in oddly pink-tinted air around my head)* Because the fight with Bongo is _so_ awesome, and the only thing I liked about his temple! And Woodfall was my _favorite_ temple in Majora's Mask! *small beeping from pocket* Oops! *puffs out*

**Long wait…**

Me: *puffs back in a visibly darker mood*

Em: What'd she say?

Me: Nothing important, it just looks like this chapter will be going up late because of it. *looks down the pit* Dammit! I missed it!

Odolwa had both of Bongo Bongo's hands pinned to the floor with his sword and was standing triumphantly on the great beast's head. Bongo Bongo moaned as he shifted into a considerably smaller form. Odolwa lost his balance and fell off his opponent's back. A young man dressed like a Sheikah in red and purple picked himself up off the floor. He had shoulder-length dark purple hair, and a bandage wrapped to hide his right eye. His one good eye glared at the audience.

Me: *sigh* I need to stop coming up with on-the-spot new forms. He looks like Kafei's older brother or something!

Em: True…

Bongo and Oldolwa vanished, replaced by Igos du Ikana and the Twinrova.

Kotake: *encases Igos in ice, winning the round of them.*

Everyone: *stare*

Me: Igos used to be Ikana, so I can't turn him into a humanoid.

Em: You could revive him.

Me: That wouldn't be a loosing penalty!

The studio retuned to normal. Somewhere in the background, Morpha and Morpheel were still fighting.

_Miley cyrus appears  
Linebeck: Who the heck are you?  
Miley: OMG I'm Miley cyrus and I'm awesome.  
Everyone stares at her, confused.  
Vaati: BOW DOWN TO ME!  
Miley: no  
Vaati: yes  
they get into a cat fight  
Tatl: thats really wierd  
Tael: yep  
Linebeck: Does anyone have any rupees?  
Ciela: shut up Linebeck  
Farore appears  
Farore: I command Link to turn into toon Link and kiss Linebeck  
Link and LInebeck:WHAT?  
Farore: Well, yeah havn't you heard of LinkxLinebeck  
Link:no  
Farore: here *magicly pulls up laptop and shows everyone a linkxLinebeck video on youtube*  
Link passes out and Linebeck pukes into a toilet  
Farore: oh well *turns Link into toon Link and leaves*  
Link:darnit  
Linebeck: Well, I guess we have to.  
Link: yeah  
Ciela: Link are you insane?  
Link: yeah  
Ciela hits Linebeck in the head  
Linebeck: knock it off Sparkles!  
Vaati: Yeah, beat it Ciela, I wanna see this! *locks Ciela in cage.  
Ciela: Shoot  
Linebeck leans in and kisses Link on the lips. Linebeck is about to pull away when Link kisses back  
Linebeck: kid, what are you doing?  
Vaati: Go Becky!  
Miley: Go ,Link!  
Midna: *banishes Miley to the dark world*  
Linebeck finnaly kicks Link away and everyone cheers.  
Embaressed, Linebeck passes out._

_-me_

Me (the author): …What was that?

Em: I have no idea…

_Hey zelda crew! Ganon has had a rough break, what say we cut him some slack? NOPE!  
Koume/Kotake: I command you to battle Ganon in his WW form! Winner gets 4 course meal prepared by Vaati. Loser becomes bound to Ruto forever!  
Link: you must face Nabooru in combat. In young form.  
Zelda: fight Midna for rights to kill Ruto!  
Midna: see above  
Vaati: you must apologize to Ezlo for turning him into a hat, then present him as a gift to Emily.  
Majora: turn into a mask, and suffocate Tingle with yourself!  
Sheik: what happened to the sheikah?  
Zant:...DIE!  
Navi: marry tael and then tell tatl the news.  
Have fun everyone :)  
MWHAHAHAHAHA!_

_-zeldagamer96_

Once again, Kotake froze Ganondorf in a block of ice.

Koume: That's your answer to everything, isn't it Kotake?

Kotake: Why yes it is Koume. Amazing how it only took you 419 years to figure it out.

Me: Ganon an Ruto are already married.

Vaati: *goes into the kitchen muttering*

Nabooru: *grabs Link's collar and holds him off the ground* *as a second thought, also relieves him of his sword and shield* I win.

Link: Not fair!

Zelda/Midna: *catfight*

Once again, the boys are blocking the authors view, otherwise I'd write it out!

Vaati: *mutters his apology while shoving Ezlo into a box* *adds a card saying "Merry X-mas" and teleports it to Emily*

Em: *opens box, sweatdrops, and returns Elzo to normal*

Majora: *becomes Majora's Incarnation and jumps on Tingle* *tuns int the mask and clamps herself to his face*

Tingle: *struggling with steadily decreasing strength*

Zelda: How should I know? They won't tell any of me. They're still around, though, I can guarantee you that.

Zant: *dies of heart attack*

Me: *still eating Pocky* You know what's really funny? The first time some one ordered some one in this fic to "DIE!" and I gave them a heart attack, I'd never read or watched Death Note. Now I'm working my way through that series, and it occurs to me how ironic that is… I'm still going to ask you not give other fandom Truths or Dares. Oh and *points to Navi and Tael* You are now husband and wife.

Tatl: *sighs* I heard that.

_aww i made Navi blush she so cute when she's emberassed. now on to the dares  
Navi i give you the dare barrier now you can't be hurt by any dares that would cause you pain. also this is long overdue but i appologies to you and Tatl for the mud wresleing thing i didn't know you two were naked under your auras.  
Link please tell me the pranks you pulled on Tatl in detail and also how was you date with Saria?  
Midna heres a sword have fun  
Majora heres a bazooka have fun  
Vatti i give you a dare pass for next week_

_Okay here are a few more dares i'm sorry but the psp is very limited with text  
i give everyone in this fic as well as Sophie and the reviewers christmas presents.  
Also if no one will do the dares they are given by anyone i will take these books of their baby pictures (That Tatl happily gave me except for her's which i stole ) and post them on the internet._

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: Aww, thanks! No hard feelings, you didn't know.

Link: *blush* The date was fun. Um…I kept a journal *fishes around in his bag and pulls out a home-made notebook* It's all in here. *hands it to Em, who warps it out*

Midna: *looks at it* I'm not really good with one of these…

Me: *wrenches gun away from Majora* No! She is not getting one of these! It takes energy to revive or heal people, and I'm too tired to revive the entire LoZ cast!

Majora: *pouts*

Vaati: *snatches the slip of paper* An for once, it's not too late. Thank you!

Everyone began ripping into their presents. They all seemed pretty happy. (A/N: There's so many of them, I'm not writing out their individual reactions)

Me: *on her second box of Pocky* Thanks Kozan!

_Oh crap! Please disregard the chapter 16 review I made, I didn't finish the list!  
I'm just gonna skip the annoying keyboard shortcuts and PM mine to msfcatlover._

_Ok, first things first, I would've sent my list in the normal fashion; except .net was a douche and messed it up.  
So if you don't mind, please disregard the unfinished dare list on my review of chapter 16 and here is my REAL dare list.  
Ruto: I take pity on you, you get to kiss Link.  
Zelda and Midna: Watch as my OC(Michael) roasts Ruto on Laevateinn and chops her into sushi with Valmanway after she kisses Link.  
Zelda and Midna (Alternate Dare if Msfcatlover doesn't feel like bringing my OC into this): Team up and Brutally Murder Ruto for kissing Link. Midna gets to use the Fused Shadow spider thing, and Zelda gets to use the Light Arrows.  
Link: Three words: Stop, Hammer Time! Translation: TP Link just borrowed the Megaton Hammer from OoT Link and gets to use it to smash Zant's(aka fish head) helmet in. Then proceed to smash Ganondorf's piggy face in.  
Toon Link: Do the same with the Skull Hammer, only replicate your finishing move on Ganondorf with the Hammer instead of the Master sword.  
Vaati: Use your wind powers/awesomeness to cut Ganon into pork chops. Then summon your ultra-cute little familiar which looks like a Minish-sized version of your eyeball-demon form for Emily's sake (And most likely the author as well).  
Ganondorf: Beat the living crap out of Zant for failing miserable to stop Link, I cannot believe how disappointing that boss fight against you was.  
Zant: Despite freaking me out to no end, you get a nicer fate. You just get tortured by Midna. And before you start pouting, it's either her or getting torn apart limb by limb by my OC (Points to Michael) who, by the way, hates your guts and would rip you apart in his demon form if he got the chance.  
Happy Mask Salesmen: You put on Majora's Mask, give Link the Fierce Deity Mask (Did you know that the Japanese name for that mask was 'Oni Mask' and that 'Oni' is Japanese for demon) at which point Link slices you to bits with Sword Beams. Again, nicer fate than what you would suffer at Michael's hands.  
Tingle: Fly up in your little Tingle-Balloon and drop Tingle-Bombs which Tetra somehow catches, loads into the cannons on her pirate ship, and shoots you down with them before they go off.  
Now I'm done with my list.  
Working on Chapter 14 of my fanfic,_

_-Ganesh295_

Ruto: *Squees too high for human ears and tackles Link*

Me: OC's are fine, but I'm not sure if I could do Michael justice…we'll do the alternative Dare, okay?

Midna: *transforms with fused shadows*

Zelda: Link, MOVE! *shoots Ruto with light arrows, paralyzing her*

Link: *gets out of the way*

Midna: *spears the stupid fish-girl*

Link: *breaks Zant's helmet, and breaks Ganon's nose with the Megaton*

Em: *turns Link and Zelda into Toon forms*

Link: *does that awesome backflip-finshing-blow-jumping-strike thing with the Skull Hammer, effectively breaking the rest of Ganondorf's face*

Vaati: *summons little Fuu*

Fuu: *circles his head, chirping*

Em: Aww! Is he friendly?

Vaati: Usually.

Fuu: *lands on Emily's shoulder and nuzzles against her neck*

Em/Vaati: *blush*

Ganondorf: *mutters to himself as his sight is retuned* *attempts to beat Zant to death, but is knocked unconscious by Majora*

Majora: *sigh* It's little things like this that make me happy. *walks off whistling*

Em: That bazooka's in a safe place, right?

Me: Don't worry, I returned it to my world's army. And my world is the one place none of you can get to without my help.*

Zant: *already in pretty bad shape* I-I d-don't–

Midna: *cracks her knuckles* This is one time I think I could truly appreciate Majora's love of pain.

Zant: *faints*

Midna: *laughs* Too easy!

HMS: *puts un the mask* It's empty of evil now…

Majora: *pops out and snatches her mask back* Thank you, physical body needed, don't want to test if divine magic can still travel along the bond between this thing and me. Good-bye. *disappears into the crowd*

Me: *shrug* I don't think she'd sink low enough to possess him anyway. So It's only a matter of whether or not Majora gets hurt too. *hands Link the Fierce Deity Mask* *points to HMS* Kill.

Link: *rolls his eyes and puts on the mask*

**Let's skip the screaming and writhing in pain…**

Me: D'aww! Look at the Toon Fierce Deity!

TFDL: *glares* Can we get this over with?

Me: Sure. Don't make it _too_ messy, okay? No matter how many brownie points it wins you with Majora.

TFDL: Wow, you've cheered up.

Me: Yeah, pasta does that to me. *wipes a bit of sauce off her chin* You, on the other hand, seem to suddenly be in a foul mood.

TFDL: *sarcastic* Yeah, this mask does that to me. Can you please get out of my way?

Me: *steps to the side sheepishly, not having realized she was in the way*

TFDL: *swings the sword in a series of diagonal cuts, the resulting magic waves cutting the Happy Mask Salesman from all angles. The speed of the blasts killed the HMS fairly quickly*

Me: *looks a little sick* Couldn't it be a little less…

TFDL: I don't think so. *takes off the mask* Ahh, that's better.

Me: Right… Um, let's go to the Great Sea for the last dare. *warps everyone out, reviving the HMS and leaving him to clean up the mess*

Tingle: *floats over the boat, and drops a bomb flower*

Tetra: *snatches it, drops it in the cannon, points the thing at Tingle, ducks down and plugs her ears*

Tingle: *is blasted out of the air*

Me: *points at the camera* Cue the graphic!

The Looney Toons "That's All Folks!" end graphic ended the chapter.

* * *

Please R&R


	18. Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! *sets off the glitter cannons*

* * *

_Truths:  
Romani: did you ever find out what THEY were in MM?  
Fyer: Why do you look like a clown? Doesn't that scare off potential customers?  
Link: Whose design do you prefer, Young Link or Toon Link? While you're on it, what's your favorite design from the entire series (this can be applied to any character, not just yourself)?  
Vaati: how many people have called you gay, in spite of what has happened during the course of the various truths and dares?  
Dares:  
Mayer Bo: have an eating contest with Yeto.  
Yeto: see above.  
Great Fairy of OoT: put some clothes on. Now. You have given people nightmares. Including me.  
Ruto: see above. Including the last part.  
Ezlo: You're annoying. Link of MC, stuff him in the back/bottom of wherever you keep your clothes. Personally, I've always thought you kept everything you owned in your hat, but meh._

_-TheBrick_

Romani: _They_ must be ghosts!

Link: _They_ look like aliens, though…

Romani: *blank look* What's an alien?

Fyer: I need to dress cheerfully to match the funhouse.

Me: *whispering* He scares me…

Midna: *pats the author on the head* Me too.

Link: I prefer to have realistic proportions. It's hard to walk with stubby little legs.

Em: *points to end of his Dare*

Link: Midna's design is awesome.

Vaati: *grimace* You have no idea. I swear, there's more yaoi out there about me than anything else.

Bo/Yeto: *start stuffing their faces*

Me: All the Great Fairies have already been clothed, remember? *muttering* Thank the gods…

Ruto: *suddenly finds herself in a dress like Laruto's from Wind Waker*

Bo: *shoves a slice of pizza into his mouth and stands up triumphantly*

Link: picks up the bratty hat-Minish and shoves him into his belt pouch* You get to see me take things out of this in Twilight Princess…

_I agree. Though the Morpheel battle was cooler, the Morpha battle was just plain better. Also, I like the Hookshot better than the Clawshot.  
Truths:  
Onox-can I catch you in a Poke ball?  
Majora-what is your favorite "spice": Ginger or Mary Ann?  
Yeto and Yeta-would you ever leave Snowpeak for the suburbs?  
Dares:  
Ganondorf-You are now Gannon, the banned bane of Zelda existence. The purist fans will be after you momentarily.  
Goddesses-bless my cat and let her into heaven. She's not evil, just mistrusting of others.  
Stagnox-drive your horn into the ground and break it off.  
I'm afraid those dare passes are invalid. I do believe that I, of no one else, gave the dare of never allowing immunities. I sound like such a snob now, don't I? ...Merry Christmas!_

_-Foxpilot_

Onyx: …What?

Me: As much as I'd _love_ to see that, not here.

Majora: …What the general said.

Yeto: We are very happy, uh.

Yeta: Very, very happy, uh.

Gannon: Wha-*is killed by the flamers*

Me: …That…was…AWESOME! Let's do it again! *revives Gannon*

Gannon: Ugh, my hea-*is killed by the flamers*

Majora: MORE! MORE!

Me: *revives Gannon*

Em: *coughs politely* Well, that'll keep _them_ busy for a while, so I'll take it from here.

Farore: *smile* Aww, that's very sweet of you! Of course we will!

Din: Are you sure that's a good idea?

Farore: Loosen up, Din!

Stagnox: *rams his horn against the ground and howls in pain* *huge crack appears in his horn*

_okay i'm posting from my psp right now so i'll send the mojority of the dares via pm.  
i undo all forced marages done so far in this story  
Navi i make you the same age as Tatl with this ray gun i just made  
Dark play song of healing rock style and Zelda's lulabey on you electric guitar/base  
I warp my Oc self to the studio and show everyone's baby pics on a huge screen they can do whatever they want to me after it will be worth the pain  
Em kiss Vatti  
Majora i've taken away you sadistic nature for the chappy_

_okay i'm sorry but here are the rest.  
I really want to know what pranks Link did to Tatl for revenge why won't anyone tell me : (  
Tingle shove a rupie up you ass  
HMS Burn all you masks  
Ruto Is it okay if i let you marry Zora Link instead (I'm afraid of what the kids would look like any other way  
Tael here's a puppet gun that makes other do what ever you want against their will. Use it on you sister  
Sopie read Young Link's diary about his date with Saria in front of everyone. And please seperate the inks Zeldas into all of there forms  
Morpha go on a date with Morpheel  
Everyone must listen to a translated version of tokusentai you can find the lyrics online  
Ceilia do you have a crush on Linebeck  
Tetra you must steal all of Linebeck's treasure then give it to charity  
Sophie again when i say everyone's baby pictures I mean yours as well.  
What happens when a girl falls in to the rabbid fangirl pit?  
and lastly everyone must play the CDI games except Vatti Em and Sophie.  
Happy new year!_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: *changed*

Dark: *plays said songs*

Everyone: *applauds his awesome rock-skills*

Kozan appeared in the studio, and immediately began feeding the pictures into the projector. Everyone stared as the pictures scrolled across the screen.

Majora: I'll be right back. *warps out*

The screen spluttered to white. Glancing back, everyone saw Majora, standing next to a flaming wreck that might once have been the projector. She looked mighty pleased with herself.

Em: The journal didn't make it? That's odd…

Me: *taps list*

Em: *pales, then leans down and lightly kisses Vaati on the top of the head*

Vaati: *startled* Huh?

Em: Dare! *disappears into the crowd*

Me: …That girl has shyness issues…

Link: *mutters something about a swamp, sand, and glow-y fluff*

Tingle: Tingle cannot do that!

Majora: *starts to smile, then stops, looking very confused*

Me: Well, is _anyone_ willing to do that to the little creeper?

Everyone: *awkward shuffling*

Me: Fangirl pit it is, then. *pulls lever*

Tingle: *falls down pit*

HMS: *takes off his backpack and lights it on fire*

Ruto: _All_ Links…

Teal: *fires gun at Tatl* Um…How would one _un_do that?

Me: Link? Did you write that down?

Link: Yeah, but it's in the same journal as the pranks…

Me: I can't read it aloud without the diary, and we have no idea where that ended up. *waves hand*

The room was suddenly much more crowded than before. Various Links and Zeldas stared at each other in confusion.

Me: *fuses them all back together* Too confusing for everyone. In response to your question, girls are shifted to the fan_boy_ pit. Same craziness, different gender.

_Haven't been on in a while, but I loved your allusion to Lulu being the same character model as Ruto. Few people noticed. Now, on to the Ts and Ds!  
Truths:  
Link: What gives you the impression that Ruto is a creepy stalker, besides almost everyone's blatant dislike of her for destroying Zelink?  
Ganon: Did you enjoy killing Zant?  
Tetra: Do you hate knowing that despite all your bravado, you're still a dainty princess who is frequently kidnapped?  
Din/Farore/Nayru: Are Majora and the Happy Mask Salesman deities?  
Dares:  
Link: Admit that the Happy Mask Salesman is the true hero of Termina, since you'd still be a deku scrub right now without him.  
Ruto: Kill Zelda and Midna. They're taking your fiancee from you. I will never allow that.  
Ilia: Fight it out with Saria to see who's the better childhood friend.  
This is awesome! Don't stop writin'!_

_-RawkHawk2.0_

Link: I don't think I ever said I thought that. I think _she_ said that.

Ruto: *pouts* I said I did _not_ stalk you!

Me: *muttering* After Midna told you to _lie_…

Ganondorf: Yes. Very much.

Tetra: Previous incarnations of me had a kidnap-ee problem. It only happened to me once!

Me: *cough*TWICE*cough*

Tetra: *whirls around* When?

Me: *cringe* Phantom Hourglass?

Tetra: *growling* That wasn't a kidnapping…

Nayru: Though the Happy Mask Salesman is not, in any way, shape, or form, a deity, Majora managed to win herself the title of "demon."

Majora: *big grin* *pumps fist*

Link: I never claimed to be the Hero of Termina. He can take the title, for all I care!

Me: You're still in a bad mood from the whole "Toon Oni Link" thing, aren't you?

Ruto: *steals one of the TP Zora's halberds (That's what you call a spear with an axe on the top!) and decapitates her rivals*

Me: *looks like she's about to throw up* I'm not cleaning this up… *warps out*

Ilia: *is dead from Ruto's massacre*

Saria: *is dead from Ruto's massacre*

**43 hours later…**

Me: *puffs back in* *looks around* Well, at least it's clean again…

Em: And _I_ had to revive all those people!

Me: People?

Em: She went after the yaoi pairings too…

Me/Em: *shudder at the fish-girl's ruthlessness*

_Ok everyone its WAR! A pillow war that is! no cheating. I think everyone should get some destressing good fun.  
This my belated christmas present to everyone! make sure majora dosnt kill anyone in the process though =3. it will be either be a team battle with bosses vs non bosses or a free for all so chose your poison.  
Thnx for beating up tingle Em! He seriously creeps me out.  
Attention loz princesses:  
After your pillow fight you will all either have a princess war or have a go kart race on the hardest track in mario kart wii: rainbow road(good luck with the sharp turns=p) again, you must choose your poison =p winner gets to choose their favorite getaway place and go to it until that person gets her next dare  
All forms of link:  
argue amongst yourselves to see is the best link form_

_-megzarie_

Everyone: FREE-FOR-ALL! *go nuts with pillows*

The air was quickly filled with feathers.

**2 hours later…**

Ruto/Midna/Zelda: *keep fighting in a Princess Pillow War, while everyone watches*

Link: *is briefly split again, and left to argue amongst himself/ves (?)*

_Ganondork: I said POKE Shad, not HIT him! *runs Ganondork through with Master Sword* And "play" with Fluffy.  
Shad: Teach me to read Hyrulian, please. *puppy dog eyes*  
Morpha: Ahh, you're so cute as a Hylian! *hugs*  
Zelda, Link: Get divorced.  
Link: Marry Ruto. Don't care if you stayed married to her, though. *winks*_

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: *is attacked by Fluffy*

Shad: There are many different formats of Hylian, but I find that this site has the best over-all translation: http:/nintendoaddict(DOT)proboards(DOTcom/index(DOT)cgi?board=hyrule&action=display&thread=848

Morpha: *tenses* Get off of me. NOW.

Zelda: Our marriage was just terminated…

Me: *points to Link and Ruto* You are now husband and wife.

Link: *mutters*

Me: Link, why do you say you like all the girls equally, yet whenever you deal with Ruto you act like you have PMS?

Link: *mutters more viciously*

_Hello people! Happy New Years!  
Now on to the dares!  
midna: kill ganon in the most painful way u can think of.  
ganon: see above, then put on links deku mask.  
koume: BURN DEKU GANON!  
kotake: have a snow cone.  
zelda: how old are u? u have been in like all the games.  
saria: use ur awesome foresty powers to destroy phantom ganon(ooT)  
darunia: use ur crazy firey powers to battle volvagia.  
ruto: battle the Great fairies!  
Great fairies: kill ruto.  
medli/makar: treat all the sages(fado and laruto included) to a new years sage party! Mages arent allowed.  
vaati: amplify ur powers with the wind waker and crash the sage party!  
link: fight majora and igos de ikana as a tag team wrestling match. ur teammate is...TINGLE!  
Have fun!_

_-zeldagamer96_

Midna: *draws and quarters Ganondorf*

Ganondorf: *is put back together with magic* *puts on the Deku Mask*

**Let's skip the screaming and writhing in pain…**

Deku Ganondorf: *glare*

Koume: *sets him aflame*

Kotake: *munches on her snowcone*

Me: Ooh, that's a good idea! *summons her own snowcone*

Zelda: I'm fine…

Saria: Um…what? When did I get special forest powers? *looks at Raru*

Raru: Well, it's not canon…

Darunia: And me (goro)?

Raru: Not that I know of…

Volvagia: *turns to the author with puppy-dog eyes* Can I crunch the Goron in my true form? Can I?

Me: *eating popcorn* No.

Volvagia: Please?

Me: No.

Volvagia: Pleeeease?

Me: No.

Volvagia: *pouts*

Me: It's not happening, dragon. Give it up.

Ruto: *is killed by the Great Fairy's "Scream of Death"*

All sages: *party*

Vaati: *joins in party*

And nobody cared.

Link/Tingle/Majora/Igos: *all find themselves in the gladiator pit*

**5 minutes later…**

Majora: *is in "Majora's Incarnation"* *sitting on top of the other three* *still manages to look confused*

Me: She really is weird like this. Her instinct is to cause destruction, but it's no longer giving her pleasure. I'm sorta missing the evil cackle…

I_'m baaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkk! (evil laughing while lighting flashes behind me.)  
It's basically going to be truths maybe a few dares.  
Ganondorf: I'm still confused. if you were going to remake the world why did you destroy it in the first place? Also with reviewer power you are no longer immoral... Go learn how to knit...  
Ciela and Linebeck: Come on! It had to be better than "alright"! And Linebeck, answer this time! I want to get an opinion from the both of you! Don't let Ciela do all of the talking. I thought you were a man of the sea?  
Linebeck:Pay Joleen back for the treasure... Then let her pawn you...  
Link: Yes everyone wants to see you die... It's funny!... Now go learn how to knit with Ganondorf...  
Tetra and Linebeck: Kiss... Then let Tetra and Link react however they want...  
Navi: Fight with Ciela... She took your voice! (It's true. the person who was navi's voice was the same person for Ciela.)  
Ciela: Why are you yellow? The courage color is green...  
Linebeck: Give all of your treasure to Link...  
Link(again): using your newly acquired kniting powers... Knit a pink sweater for Linebeck who must wear it for the rest of the chapter.  
Ciela(again): You can torment Linebeck how ever you want to.  
Gannodorf: Knit everyone a sweater in their favorite color... And I mean everyone, even the most random character... and some random hobo off the street.(That was my friend.)  
And I think that's it... For now...  
Wow this got long... and it's mostly dares not truths._

_-Linebecky29_

_P. for everyone except link:... Attack Link... In the most random way possible.  
Link:only weapon you have... your knitting needles!  
P.S.S. I think everyone hates me now... Is that true?  
P.S.S.S. Yes, Linebeck I do enjoy torturing you. (don't forget the Sweaters!)  
P.S.S.S.S. My friend helped me write this(she made me do all of the dot, dot,dots and Linebeck heres a big box of... FLUFFY. PINK. SWEATERS! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD_

Me: *revives/heals everyone. Just incase she's forgetting something…*

Ganondorf: I didn't destroy it, I merely did not put any effort into it. It destroyed itself.

Linebeck: I _am_ a man of the sea! That doesn't mean I'll willingly argue with a woman. I thought it was a pretty good kiss, but *is slapped by Ceilia* *holding cheek* she hates me, so I thought it was better not to say.

Ceilia: *cracks her knuckles*

Linebeck: *sighs and gives Joleen 353 Rupees*

Joleen: *knocks him unconscious with the flat of her sword, then robs him*

Link/Ganondorf: *warped out*

Terta/Linebeck: *kiss*

Tetra: *wipes her mouth* I can see why Ceilia said it was "alright."

Navi/Ceilia: *fight*

Everyone: *ignore them because they look like two glowing puffs with wings*

Ceilia: Everything else in the game is green! I needed to stand out some.

Linebeck: *wakes up to find he's been robbed* I don't have anything to give!

Link/Ganondorf: *back*

Link: *hands Linebeck a fluffy pink sweater*

Linebeck: *puts it on*

Ceilia: I'm not a sadist like Majora.

Ganondorf: *sits down to knit for, oh, the next _TWENTY YEARS!_*

Everyone: *jump on Link*

Link: *is crushed at the bottom of a giant pig-pile*

Me: *sitting on top of the pile* I don't hate you.

Em: *right beneath the author* You don't hate anyone.

Me: I hate Ganon. I hate Tingle.

_Vaati: slow dance with gannon  
Tatl: get into a fight with all the other faries  
Linebeck: turn into a cow  
Leaf: try to kiss Ciela but get regected  
Linebeck: turn into a girl cow  
Vaati: milk the female cow Linebeck  
Tetra: start dancing to numa numa  
Ciela: sing the numa numa misheard lyrics  
Neri: watch 12 stright hours of jurrassic park  
truths  
gannon: how old are you and how much do you weigh  
zelda: what did you do while trapped in the castle for those endless days while Link threw pigs all over the place._

_-icearrows1200_

Ganondorf: No. And you can't drop me in the fangirl pit while I'm still working on another Dare. HA!

Me: Why you little… *stabs him *

Ganondorf: *looks at the dagger sticking out of his chest* You do know only the Master Sword can hurt me, right?

Me: *makes the dagger as sacred as the Master Sword* That's what you get! *storms off*

Em: Wow, her mood went downhill fast…

All fairies: *fight*

Majora: *enchants Romani's Mask*

Linebeck: *puts on the cow-hat*

**Skipping mask transformation sequence…**

Linebeck: *is cow*

Leaf: *kisses Ceilia on the cheek*

Ceilia: *slaps him*

Em: A cow _is_ the girl of the species.

Vaati: *milks the Linebeck Cow*

Tetra: *tap dances*

Ceilia: *sings this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=KfEE_nYehZ8 (A/N: Too ridiculous to be written, even in a ToD)*

Neri: *floats into the backroom*

Ganondorf: Which *wince* form?

Zelda: I read and I slept. And I repeatedly sent pleas to the goddesses for him to hurry up.

* * *

My vacation ends tomorrow *bawls* I don't wanna go back to school!

R&R


	19. I'm headdesking right now

Sorry this one took so long. I'm completely swamped with homework. That metaphorical mountain? It's not metaphorical. *shudder*

* * *

_First of all, I should mention I'm a Vaati and Sheik fangirl. :)  
Dares:  
Vaati- admit it, you love Sophie.  
Sophie- have the best, sugariest cookie in the world. You deserve it.  
Midna- spit in Link's face while telling him you wanna have his babies.  
Sheik- Make everybody prepare a buffet for you. Because I love you.(:  
Gannondorf- Let Sheik and Vaati and Sophie do whatever they want to you. Because they're awesome.  
Truths:  
Vaati- Are you a player?  
Gannondorf- Why are you so dumb and..and...pig-like?  
Sheik- Do you have sheikah magic? because if so, you are 10x awesomer than you already are.  
Ilia- You kinda annoyed me in TP. Why do you have an Epona fedish.  
I will be back :)_

_-Ilovesheikey_

Vaati: I DO NOT! ADMIT MEANS IT HAS TO BE TRUE, AND IT'S _NOT!_

Me: Yeah! *grabs cookie* n.n

Midna: *whispers in Link's ear*

Link: *blush*

Midna: *pulls back and spits on Link* Dare.

Zelda: *becomes Sheik*

Sheik: Yeah! *looks happy, under his facemask*

Ganondorf: NOOO-*dies of heart attack*

Me: *still eating cookie* n.n *revives Ganondorf*

Ganondorf: Ugh, my hea-*is killed by throwing daggers*

Sheik: *looks happy*

Me: *revives Ganondorf*

Ganondorf: Can you stop tha-*is killed by giant vortex*

Vaati: *is nowhere to be seen. Odd…*

Vaati: …Define "player". Have I dated multiple girls at once? Yes. Am I capable of appreciating one girl enough to date just her? Also yes.

Ganondorf: *is revived again* Blame…the Triforce…ow…

Sheik: Yes, the Sheikah all have to learn teleportation and minor Shadow magic. And don't forget my light magic!

Ilia: I do not! Link has the only horse in town, and I'm not allowed to help take care of her?

The author clapped her hands and a huge buffet appeared. Everyone dove for the food. Sheik sat down at the head of the table, looking happy.

Me: You'd think I didn't feed you guys…

Em: You forgot breakfast.

Midna: And lunch.

Me: *sweatdrop*

_okay i have searched all over every single land in the zelda universe and after fighting every boss ever! I have successfuly recovered all the pages of Link's diary and installed a tracking device in it!  
Navi read it out loud to everyone to emberass him.  
Young Link turn into wolf form infront of Saria  
Vatti put on the fierce diety mask  
Navi do you have a crush on Tael  
Tael how old are you and I give you any weapon you want  
Em here's a tape on how to beat shyness  
Tatl appologies to Link for mugging him_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: *opens journal* "Monday: Tatl fell in some kid's birdfeeder today. She'll be picking deku seeds and peanut butter out of her hair for _weeks!_ Serves her right for what she did earlier, too!" "Tuesday: Tatl fell asleep in the Clock Tower, and I decided to go to the ocean and play in the water instead of going to Ikana like we planned. We have to reset tonight anyway, it's not like we'll make any progress there."

Me: Flip ahead to his date with Saria!

Link: *puts his face in his hands*

Navi: This one doesn't have a date…but it's it. "I just had the best night _ever!_ I got dared to go on a date with Saria, and it was kinda awkward in the restaurant, but we went for a walk and played hide-and-seek and visited the observatory afterwards! I never knew that each sage has a guiding star before. She's so smart! I just…I'm horrible at putting this into words." …He then goes on to talk about how excited he is to finally be a real Kokiri.

Link: *hasn't looked up* *slowly shaking his head*

Midna: *transforms him*

Saria: *kneels down and looks at the wolf pup* Link? Is that you?

Puppy Link: *nods*

Saria: Awww! You're so cute like that! Why didn't you ever tell me you could do this?

Puppy Link: *looks embarrassed*

Saria: *picks him up and huggles him*

Vaati: *puts on Fierce Deity Mask*

**Skipping the screaming and writhing in pain…**

Vaati: *is in his deity form (A/N: Stage one of the fight with him in Minish Cap. He goes from Hylian to Deity before he becomes a demon.)* Well, that was a waste of time…and pain…

Me: *staring at him*

Em: Snap out of it, Sophie!

Me: *shakes head* Right, right!

Navi: *blush* Um…yes…

Me: *pops up* It's called "Tavi"! It's one of my _favorite_ pairings!

Navi/Tael: *turn bright red*

Em: Thanks.

Me: *hands her tape player*

Tatl: *sighs* Link, I'm sorry about what happened at the beginning of Majora's Mask.

Puppy Link: *tips head to the side and whines*

Saria: He says he forgives you.

Tatl: You can talk to animals?

Saria: No, but I know Link really well and I used to have a puppy.

_Dares and truths for today:  
Gannondorf: dance to carmeldansen  
Ruto: sing the above song  
Link: launch rockets at tingle  
Tingle: wear a dress and do a handstand while Link shoots rockets at you.  
Vats: team up with Majora and Twin Rova and try to conquer the world together.  
Majora: i give back your sadistic nature back. Your just not yourself when when your not your sadist self. Have fun taking over the world with Vats!  
Zelda: so is Sheik supposed to be a dude or a chick? You need to put the Shiek gender controversy to an end! You know since you disgiused yourself as Shiek.  
Vovagia: do you hate whack-a-mole after getting hit so many times with Link's megaton hammer? If so destroy the megaton hammer!  
Midna: sup! I think you deserve to be a brawl character because you are awesome and your awesomeness deserves justice! Do you agree?  
Ilia: since you are always trying to 'steal' Epona away, you obviously need your own horse. I give you your very own awesome horse. Give it a name and have a horse race with Malon and Link when he is done shooting rockets at Tingle. P.s unlike most i dont find you annoying so kudos to you.  
Renado and Barnes: go inside goron mines and you cant exit the way you came out. You guys HAVE to go walk through the whole thing!  
Malo: just curious but how does a kid your age run a franchise? I mean it must be hard to oversee every thing while youre in ordon. Do you visit your shops?  
Rusl and Bo: raise micheal jackson from his grave so you can dance to thriller. Rusl has to kill him after youre done.  
Medli\Komali: are you two dating? If not then then you should date each other you guys would be cute together! =)  
Linebeck: go treasure hunting while walking with your hands instead of feet. At least try.  
Dark Link: get wasted at a party then try to wreak havok in gerudo fortress  
All gerudo: destroy the intruder inside the fortress. Yours truly:_

_-megzarie_

Ruto: *sings this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=v1NFxEg6YUQ (A/N again, too ridiculous for words)*

Ganondorf: *does a spazzy dance*

Me: *runs off to throw up*

Midna: *punches Ruto*

Ruto: What was that for?

Midna: You can't even do it right! It's too high for your voice! The only ones in this room who can hit that pitch are the author or either Emily and myself, and us only as imps!

Ruto: Oh yeah? You want to take your other form and try it?

Midna: *pales* I don't want to be an imp again…

Em: *sighs* I'll do it. And I'll sing the original.

Midna: *sighs and transforms her*

(A/N: I don't think I've described Em's imp form for you guys…I'll do that now.)

Em's imp form had the same markings as her, with the exception of a dress-shaped shadow that ended about a third of the way down her thigh. Her waist-length hair was now knee-length, and held back by a black and white headband. Her outer iris expanded to fill most of her eye, and her fangs were a bit longer (though not as long as Midna's imp fangs).

Em: *now with the high-pitched imp voice* Right. Um…should I make it a performance?

Midna: You're the host.

Em: Okay…I'll just sing it here.

(A/N: I'll copy and paste the Swedish lyrics. I like them better. Start this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=anEVeN4K-SY&feature=related)

Em stood as straight as she could and cleared her throat. As music started somewhere in the background, she braced herself and sang:

Vi undrar är ni redo att vara med  
Armarna upp, nu ska ni få se  
Kom igen  
Vem som helst kan vara med

Så rör på era fötter  
Oa-a-a  
Och vicka era höfter  
O-la-la-la...  
Gör som vi  
Till denna melodi

Oa-oa-a  
Dansa med oss  
Klappa era händer  
Gör som vi gör  
Ta några steg åt vänster  
Lyssna och lär  
Missa inte chansen  
Nu är vi har med  
Caramelldansen

O-o-oa-oa  
O-o-oa-oa-a...

O-o-oa-oa  
O-o-oa-oa-a...

Det blir en sensation överallt förstås  
På fester kommer alla att släppa loss  
Kom igen  
Nu tar vi stegen om igen  
Oa-oa...

Så rör på era fötter  
Oa-a-a  
Och vicka era höfter  
O-la-la-la  
Gör som vi  
Till denna melodi

Så kom och  
Dansa med oss  
Klappa era händer  
Gör som vi gör  
Ta några steg åt vänster  
Lyssna och lär  
Missa inte chansen  
Nu är vi har med  
Caramelldansen

Dansa med oss  
Klappa era händer  
Gör som vi gör  
Ta några steg åt vänster  
Lyssna och lär  
Missa inte chansen  
Nu är vi har med  
Caramelldansen

O-o-oa-oa  
O-o-oa-oa-a...

O-o-oa-oa  
O-o-oa-oa-a...

Så kom och  
Dansa med oss  
Klappa era händer  
Gör som vi gör  
Ta några steg åt vänster  
Lyssna och lär  
Missa inte chansen  
Nu är vi har med  
Caramelldansen

Dansa med oss  
Klappa era händer  
Gör som vi gör  
Ta några steg åt vänster  
Lyssna och lär  
Missa inte chansen  
Nu är vi har med  
Caramelldansen

The room erupted into applause. Em blushed deeply as Midna changed her back.

Puppy Link: *steps on a red button*

Tingle: *is randomly upside down in a dress when the rockets hit him* *dies*

Majora: *blinks a few times, then points and laughs*

Me: SHE'S BACK!

Em: Gods save us!

Majora/Vaati/Koume/Kotake: *are warped down to Hyrule*

Koume and Kotake quickly reestablished themselves as the leaders of the Gerudo. Without Zelda present, Vaati easily took over Hyrule Castle and Castle Town. Both groups ignored Majora, who began tormenting the southern provinces.

Sheik: Well, physically I'm a man. And when I lost my memories, I was purely a Sheikah man. However, I have regained my memories, and both originally and mentally, I am Zelda, who's a girl. So it really depends on how you determine gender.

Volvagia: Quite the contrary, I enjoy doing to others what was done to me.

Midna: Of course!

Ilia: *finds herself face-to-snout with a slender grey mare* Oh! I'll call her Misty!

Misty: *snorts*

Ilia: *big smile*

Puppy Link: *whines*

Saria: He'd like to be Kokiri again.

Me: *turns Link back and finishes her cookie*

Link: Thanks.

Everyone was warped to Gorman's Race track. Link sat on Epona, Malon rode a large black stallion with white socks (named Jackson) and Ilia perched on top of Misty.

Em: *waves the flag* Go!

Epona/Jackson/Misty: *take off*

**Two minutes later…**

Jackson/Malon: *first place*

Epona/Link: *two seconds behind Malon and Jackson*

Misty/Ilia: *fifteen seconds behind Link and Epona*

Everyone was warped back.

Renado/Barns: *warped to the Goron Mines*

Malo: I am much older than I look. I have a growth defect. We keep in contact through the Postman.

Postman: Do-dah-dah-do! Mail! *is zapped unconscious*

Me: I'VE ALREADY SAID, NO MICHEAL JACKSON DARES! They can dance to a CD. *plays one*

Rusl/Bo: *do a spazzy dance*

Midna: *stares at them* They're not even _trying_ to stick to the beat!

Komali/Medli: *blush*

Medli: Um, n-no…

The author walked by behind them, holding a sign that declared "I SUPPORT THIS PAIRING" with an arrow pointing to the two Rito.

Me: I'll declare whether or not I like a pairing as it comes up. There are very few pairings I don't like, though. One more reason I will never write romance fanfics.

Linebeck: *attempts a handstand* *falls on his face*

Dark: *is warped to the Milk Bar*

**5 hours later…**

Dark: *staggers into the Gerudo fortress and collapses* *dissolves into the shadows as soon as he looses consciousness*

Random Gerudo guard: *looks at the spot where he was* I should tell Aveil about that, shouldn't I? But he's gone, so I suppose it's not important… *sits down ext to where he was* Wonder if he'll come back…?

Everyone was warped back.

_Hello everbody, I'm ! (Completely loses it for all of ten seconds)  
Anyway, now that I'm sane again...I am again PMing my Dare list to msfcatlover.  
Please disregard my dare list on my review of chapter 18!  
Dares: (Just so you know, yes I'm in the mood for psychological torture)  
Tatl: The perfect prank opportunity is right in front of you and you are trapped in a bottle! Muahahahaahaahhaaaaaa!  
OoT Zelda, Ilia, Ruto, Malon(Perhaps): Watch as TP Link goes out on a quite romantic date with Midna, during which Midna flirts shamelessly and at the end of which they kiss, and none of you can do anything about it! Muahahaahaa! (P.S. If any of you even try to interfere, Orlox, an OC from my fic who has a reputation as the bloodiest [and most undefeated until his untimely end at the hands of Michael, kind of.] warrior in the Twilight Realm, will personally make sure that you don't. And he will use a big-ass sword! As per the usual anyway...)  
Zant: Hey fish-head(At least that's what I thought it looked like before I took a closer look and realized that the helm looks more like a chameleon), guess what! Orlox hates your guts more than my other OC. And you are stuck in the same cell of the Twilight Palace dungeon as him for whatever reason for one night! (Really letting out my sadist side here)  
Everyone but Emily: Try to cure Emily's shyness. Majora, Ganondork, that includes you too.  
Hey guess what everyone? My OC (Michael) somehow left all of his swords in the studio! (Sophie, get creative)  
Vaati: Here, have Valmanway. Enjoy your majorly enhanced wind powers and the other ability of the blade which I don't feel like describing. (Author. If you red my Fanfic, [Which I know for a fact that you did.] then you will know whatI'm talking about)  
Majora: Here, have Laevateinn. Enjoy fulfilling all of your fire-related omnicidal fantasies with a sword that is constantly on fire and can wield itself. (Author, you can't do anything about it but clean up the mess)  
Midna: Here, have Kaladbolg. Do me a favor and at least try to chop Zant into sushi after Orlox is done with him (try to use the term 'Sushified' =])  
Zelda: Here, have Claimh Solais. Enjoy your immensely over-powered light powers being enhanced even further.  
Link: Here, have Orlox's sword (And the Golden gauntlets so you can lift the damn thing). You deserve another two-handed weapon.  
Everyone have fun with your swords for the rest of the chapter!  
Take note: When the chapter ends, Michael will use the Explosive warp to enter the studio, blast Majora, take back Laevateinn, set the whole studio aflame, take his swords back in the chaos, seal the fan-girl/boy pit over with darkness seals, turn into his demon form, and completely destroy a wall in the process of leaving. (And you had better not half-ass this one(Which means write that part in a story format)! But Michael doesn't need to say anything, so don't worry about that aspect.)_

_-ganesh295_

Tatl: *muttering* #$%&!

Zelda, Ilia, Ruto and Malon were shuffled into the backroom. As the author worked on fixing the TV (A/N: You all remember the Barney Dare in chap.14? Well, Ganondorf broke the TV in an attempt to escape…) Em warped Link and Midna to a romantic restaurant.

Me: There!

The TV flickered to life just in time for them to hear Midna say "It's really hot in here, isn't it?" and see her take off her cloak. Blushing, the author hurried out if the room, and locked the door behind her.

Zant: Wha- *is warped out to the worst night of his short little life*

Em: N-no! *runs into the girls' dressing room* *locks the door*

Me: *looks at the villains' evil grins* I'm not even going to ask.

Vaati: *looks at the blue blade in his hands* Um…

Me: It creates illusion copies of itself that become solid at the weilders will.

Vaati: *glances around nervously*

Me: *other end of the room with binoculars*

Em: *to the author* You look like a stalker.

Me: Shut up.

Majora: *looks at the blade in her hands with an evil smile* Oh, I've heard of this one! *Laevateinn bursts into flames* We are going to have _fun_ together! *runs up to Ganondorf and spears him on it*

Link: *points* GET HER OUT OF HERE!

Me: I CAN'T!

Midna: *warps Majora to Termina*

Everyone except Ganondorf: *huge sigh of relief*

Midna: *looks rather freightened by Kaladbolg* Um…pure dark magic is not my forte…

Me: Majora would be happy to-

Everyone: NO!

Me: *summons what's left of Zant* Just swing it through the pile, strike a superhero pose and say "Sushified."

Midna: Fine. *does so*

Zelda: *sheaths the crystal blade* Thank you.

Link: *slides on the Gold Gauntlets and hefts the giant blade* Whoa, how much does this thing _weigh?_ Even with the gauntlets, it's heavy!

Me: Change it into something lighter, then.

Everyone: *stare at the author in a puzzled manner*

Me: What? It's the sword's special power!

Link: Okay… *looks back to Orlox's sword* Um… become a spear?

The sword did nothing.

Me: *shrug* Maybe it only works for Michael. Ah well. *peels a tangerine*

_Alas, poor Yorik, I knew...What? Wait, are you telling me this isn't a Shakespeare ToD? Uh...I knew that. As a repeat reviewer, I'd better. Right, Yorik? *Bobbles skull on hand.*  
Truths:  
Mido-what did you do for those seven long years when the forest was taken over?  
Goddesses-why are you normal people in Minish Cap?  
Jovani-why are you crying in a bar? Normally, you don't want people to see your sadness.  
Dares:  
Romani-Yorik is your new pet. He must be fed, watered, and allowed to haunt people at night.  
Majora-have a staring contest with Weegee.  
Link-listen to the song "Transient Shadows" on OverClocked Remix and say what you think.  
Well, with the new year comes new challenges. Happy New Year, everyone! Except you, villains. Enjoy the new year of downfalls._

_-Foxpilot_

Mido: I protected the village!

Saria: *hits him upside the head* No you didn't! You hid in the Lost Woods!

Din: We were re-casted as Oracles.

Jovani: I'm a very sad drunk…

Me: Like Gorman!

Romani: *holds up the skull* We're gonna be good friends!

Midna: Just keep him away from Sunshine. *pets rabbit*

Majora: *warped back from Termina* *slings Laevateinn over her shoulder* Weejee? Is there a Weejee here?

Me: No, I think he's from the Super Mario Bros. fandom.

Majora: Too bad.

Link: *looks it up and listens to it* Catchy.

_Hi! ...And ummm... That's pretty much it. On to the dares!  
Dares:  
Ruto: Help! I'm slowly drifting towards Link/Malon! I don't want to support them! Invade Lon Lon Ranch!  
Ganondorf: Go back (forward? Stupid timeline theory...) in time and destroy Gannon.  
Goddesses: Since he isn't one and I want him to be, MAKE the Happy Mask Salesman a deity.  
Truths:  
Happy Mask Salesman: I actually have several questions for you. a) How did you retain your knowledge and memories when Link was constantly going through time? b) How did you know so much about the Skull Kid and Majora's Mask? c) How in the WORLD did you even GET Majora'a Mask? d) What is your relation to the children in the moon, given they all have red hair and interests in becoming mask salesmen?  
Midna/Navi/Tatl: How did you know so much about all those enemies?  
Impa: Why does everyone forget you exist? Anyway, do you like Link or hate his closeness to Zelda?_

_-RawkHawk2.0_

Ruto: *grabs a halberd and is warped to Lon Lon*

Ganodorf: …How does that work?

Me: I dunno. *summons a Gannon* Here you–

Gannon: *is killed by flamers*

Me: Okay…forgot about that… I don't think he'll live long enugh for Ganon to destroy him…

Nayru: *sigh* Very well. *does so*

HMS: A) the inside of the clock tower is immune to the flow of time. B) I followed him too. C) I found it. D) I used to be a "moon child" myself.

Midna: I read a lot.

Navi: I studied them.

Tatl: It's basic knowledge that everyone in Termina has.

Impa: Link is a brave youth. Without him, Hyrule would have fallen to the darkness many times. As long as he doesn't hurt her, I really don't care about his relationship with the princess. I don't know why people ignore me, I'm the only public Sheikah.

_Ganondork: Spend an hour in the fangirl pit.  
Shad: Why do you have such a small role in Twilight Princess? I mean, you're amazing! And 10 times better than Link.  
Link: You know I never said you had to stay married to Ruto, right?  
Morpha: And here I was beginning to like you... Fluffy, attack!  
Zelda: So, do you love Link?  
Midna: See above._

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: *is dropped into the fangirl pit*

Shad: I don't know…Thank you for the compliment!

Link: Yeah, the author disagrees.

Me: No, I'm just waiting for someone to cancel it.

Morpha: *summons impenetrable water bubble and watches Fluffy bounce of the outside* Can I go back to my true form?

Me: You mean the small, flesh-colored ball? No.

Zelda: Depends on the time. So, yes and no.

Midna: Is that a Truth, or a Dare?

Zelda: *looks at her* Why?

Midna: Remember my advice to Ruto about romance Dares? That's why.

_As a new Year's present, I'm gonna keep it short and sweet for you guys.  
Dare  
Link: split into every Link that has ever existed, make your own government, and make world peace. By way of Master Sword stabbing. Notice I never said which world... *winkwinkhinthint*  
Truth  
Zelda: what is your opinion on the Zelink pairing? How about any other pairings?_

_-TheBrick_

Me: *splits Link and warps him/them to Termina*

Zelda: Like I said before, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I really don't care who Link dates, but the ZantXMidna pairing is the weirdest thing ever.

Me: Zelda! I didn't want to get involved in pairing debates!

Zelda: Are you going to argue? I know you agree with me. And you've already named your favorite pairings

Me: No one cares if you like a pairing, but the ZantXMidna shippers will kill me if I don't like theirs!

Zelda: *sigh*

Me: *looks at watch* Oh, hey! It's the end of the chapter! Which means–

A loud **BANG!** came from the back of the room.

Me: Michael's here.

A young man in a grey tunic and cape strode forwards. He glanced around, grey eyes flashing. Link, Midna and Zelda tossed "their" new swords into a small pile and pointed to them. Michael smiled.

"Thank you," he said, carefully sheathing the swords. With another scanning glance of the room he muttered, "That's three. Does anyone know where the other two are?" The edge to his voice made it quite clear that he didn't have much patience. Vaati dropped Valmanway and backed away from it. Majora gripped Laevateinn a bit tighter. Hefting the two-handed sword with ease, Michael casually waved a hand in her direction. A blast of magic hit Majora directly, knocking her back a bit and causing her to drop the last sword. Laevateinn flew back to the newcomer, who slung both swords onto his back.

He flashed a smile at the first three. "Love to stay and chat, but I really must be going," he said, drawing the blades of light and darkness again. In an instant, a large winged demon had replaced Michael. The thing flapped its wings a few times, and flew straight through the roof. Plaster rained down on the room. After a moment of shock, the author fixed it.

* * *

So, ganesh, does the last scene work? You said Michael didn't have to say anything, but I just couldn't imagine him _not_ making a few comments...

Em: I can't believe you people gave her sugar and hyper music in one chapter!

n.n

Em: *sigh* Please Read and Review.


	20. 100 Reviews!

WOO! 100+ REVIEWS!

Zelda: We've done more than one hundred Dares?

Well, no... But do you know how hard it is for a new author, even one with repeat reviewers to get over 100 reviews? It's like...It's so amazing!

* * *

_Truths  
Link: do you like your new look in Skyward Sword/OoT 3D?  
Medli: I love you.  
Link again: How'd making world peace go?  
Dares  
Midna: Rocket Launcher. Ganondorf. Now.  
Tingle (Yes, I don't like you. Deal.): Meet I.S. Navi. I.S. Navi, meet Tingle.  
Romani: I give to you these gifts three: a pet rock, which must be fed and watered daily. A snowball, for use on the person you hate most. And, finally, an OC named Tim. He is very annoying.  
P.S.: Loved the scene at the end._

_-TheBrick_

Link: Yeah, it's awesome!

Medli: *blush*

Link: Pretty well.

Midna: *shoulders rocket launcher* Hey Gannon!

Ganondorf: *turns*

Em: HIT THE DECK!

Everyone except Ganondorf and Midna: *drop to the floor*

Midna: *shoots rocket launcher*

Ganondorf: *BOOM*

Tingle: *gets up shakily to see I.S. Navi* Hello, miss fairy! What are–

I.S. Navi: *chainsaw* *is warped out*

Navi: Wha…?

Romani: Yeah! *holds up Yoric and Rocky* We're gonna be best friends!

Yorick: *evil eye*

Rocky: *whimper*

Tim: *yawn*

Romani: *drops the snowball down the back of Tim's shirt*

Tim: Gah! *funny little "get it off" dance* What was that for?

Romani: *sticks tounge out at him*

_sorry about the micheal jackson dare i toataly forgot bout that mj rule. Ive listening to mj's music lately so thats why i did that. My favorite mj song right now is billy jean or smooth criminal.  
Now onto the dares! :  
Link: turn into a twili for a chapter! I bet you'd look epic as a twili ;D !  
Rusl: survive the cave ordeals  
Minda: what do you think of twili link?  
Zelda: do you think the same light magic used to make light arrows could be make light bullets(for guns)? Ive always been curious about that sorta thing.  
Vats: you get a totally awesome dragon. Name it/him/her. It will obey your every command and no one else's!  
Gannodorf: restore the dark relm back into the sacred relm then pay retribution to the goddesses.  
Majora: steal bongo bongo's drums then cause havoc with them.  
Ilia: lift the four sword out of its pedastool. Also when pick the sword up i will give you abillity to weild a sword almost as well as Link  
Dark: fight the four Ilias_

_-megzarie_

Majora: *happily offers him a mask*

Link: Um…thanks but no thanks.

Me: *puffs in* I'm on it! *transforms Link and puffs out*

The Twili Link had almost luminescent gold hair and his double irises were blue and green. He was a bit taller, and his skin was a considerably darker teal than Midna's. His tunic was pale blue, his chainmail was silver, and his shadow markings formed rings round his arms, legs and neck.

Link: *looks at himself* Cool! Do I get Twili powers too?

Me: *puffs back* No. *puffs out*

Em: …She hasn't been using the puff of smoke as much lately. Wonder why she's started again?

Me: *puffs in* 'Cause it's fun! *puffs out*

Rusl: *is warped to the Cave of Ordeals*

Midna: *eyes Link* He looks pretty cool.

Zelda: Um…I guess so. Since it's a coating magic, you could probably use it on any weapon.

Vaati: *finds himself looking at a baby dragon (A/N: Just like the little Volvagia in the OoT manga, except black with a silver underbelly)* Um…Hi?

Dargon pup: *tilts head to the side and chirps*

Vaati: *small smile* *bends down and pets it* I think I'll call you Scath. Hello, Scath.

Scath: *rubs his head against Vaati's tunic and purrs*

Gannondorf: *is revived* *fixes the sacred relm*

Shadow: I still don't get why you changed it in the first place. There already _was_ a Dark World!

Ganondorf: Shut up. *is warped to the Temple of Time*

Majora: *big grin* Okay! *warps out*

Em: *glances around* Sophie? Shouldn't you do something about that?

Me: *puffs in mini-ized and eating pasta* Um…I'll fix it when she get's back. How much damage can she possibly do with–

Bongo: You don't want to know. Drums of the dead and all that. *walks away*

Me: Oh…*warps to Hyrule*

**5 minutes later…**

Me: *warps back in with a soot- and dirt-streaked Majora*

Majora: *very happy* Those things are _awesome!_

Me: Note to self: if you don't know what it does, don't let Majora near it.

Ilia: *draws Four Sword*

Ilia's four different forms wore white, yellow, orange and black.

The studio was, once again, transformed into a gladiator pit, with the four Ilias facing off against Dark Link. The crowd cheered, and the girls were clearly enjoying themself/ves. Dark twirled his sword and took up a ready position.

Ilias: *take up a "cross formation"*

Dark: *rolls his eyes and melts into the shadows* *pops up in the center of the Ilia's formation and knowcks them out* And _that's_ whay you don't turn all your backs to a spot your enemy can get at.

Em: That wasn't _quite_ fair…

Me: If they were used to their strength, they'd have been able to beat him.

_Okay today something frightening happened to me. I put my hand over my chest and I felt something go bu-bump bu-bump...What's going ooooooooonnnnnn!  
I have this strange urge to make the characters happy in this chapter..Damn you beating thingy in my chest!  
Young Link: I give you all of the other Link's transformation powers and full control over your wolf form. So I have to dare for you.  
1. Kiss Saria on the Lips for at least 5 seconds  
2. Use the fairy transformation spell in front of everyone (Show a few of their reactions. The ones I really want to see are The fairies and Saria's)  
Navi: go on a date with Tael to where ever you want  
Celia: you go on a date with Leaf  
Tatl : Meet one of my Fc's Fairy named Charlie (Has spiky silver hair and brown eye, and wears a brown mage's cloak  
Minda: Go make out with Tp Link  
Zelda: same with Adult OoT Link  
Emily: Same as Young Link's but With Vatti  
Majora: You're not still mad about me taking away your sadistic nature right? Heh heh *forcibly warped to studio* *Gulps*  
Ganondorf: I lock you in an inescapable rooom that is sound proof and make you watch a video Of Eggman from sonic the hedgehog in a pink speedo (Regrettably this video does exist in Sonic Shorts vol 4 on youtube and it made my eyes almost bleed)  
(hope fully this isn't another fandom because it's a parody video on youtube)  
Sophie: Once the video is over destroy it off the face of the earth it must not be allowed to survive! (Oh and here is some pockey for you.)  
Sheik and Tetra: Can't you just agree that both pirates and ninjas are B.A?  
Vatti: You are pretty cool in this fanfiction (Makes up for being such a cheap boss in minish cap) Here is an air sword to boost you wind combat and a book of spells...Oh and Emily has the hots you you. (She is so going to kill me) *Still trapped in studio*  
Ghost Zelda: Sing the Ghost Nappa song but change the word Nappe to Zelda.  
And Last all parings Slow dance to earth angel.  
Ps. What is this beating in my chest! It scares me and makes me what to do good things for people no matter who they are! Make it stop!_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Link/Saria: *kiss*

Me: *splits the Links again*

All Links except TP Link: *look normal*

TP Link: *still Twili*

Young Link: *still Kokiri*

Me: *pauses* Wait, so he was a Twili Kokiri? Why didn't I realize that until this point? That's awesome!

Young Link: *does the fairy transformation*

As a fairy, Y. Link's glow was bright green. His hair became dark green and his skin was more Twili/Zuna pale green (A/N: I know that's not what he actually looks like as a fairy, but he's so much cooler this way!)

Fairies: *stare*

Saria: *claps* Wow, that's so cool!

Navi/Tael: *warp to Lake Hylia*

Celia/Leaf: *warp to Spirit Isle*

Tatl: Hi.

Charlie: Hi.

**Awkward silence…**

Midna/TP Twili Link: *make out passionately*

Me: *holds up sign declaring "SHE _SO_ LIKES HIM!" with an arrow pointing at the two*

Zelda/OoT Adult Link: *make out somewhat less passionately*

Emily: *gulps* Um…

Vaati: Here *kisses her on the lips*

Em: *is bright red*

Majora: *pats Kozan on the head* I don't get mad. Thought you'd want to know.

Me: *looking around* Where's the rocket launcher? WHERE'S THE ROCKET LAUNCHER?

Em: *wrestles the freakin' huge gun away from Majora* GOT IT!

Faint screaming could be heard from the inescapable room.

Me: *attempts to hack youtube while noming on pocky*

Zelda: *grabs her head* Please, please don't ask! I DON'T KNOW!

Vaati: *sheathes sword, pockets the book, then notices the end of the Dare* …What? *looks at Em* What?

Em: *BRIGHT red* I…I… *runs into the girls' changing room*

Vaati: *glares at Kozan* Great. I highly doubt she's ever coming out again. Thanks a lot.

Kozan: *sweatdrop*

Zelda: *changed to ghost form* *sings this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=sC8-3E8OUFk except for… yeah, changing the words like in the instrucktions*

All pairing couple slowdanced to this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOTcom/watch?v=zZeDWNaUILM on loop.

_Ganondork: Drink this new poison I discovered that will not kill you, but will make you wish you could die. *hands him a small bottle*  
Ashei: Do you love Shad? And I want an honest answer. Or else... *holds up bottle of poison*  
Midna: This is a TRUTH, do you love Link?  
Zelda: How do you feel about Link in TP?  
Link: Get divorced.  
Shad: I was only speaking the truth. *hugs Shad*_

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: *grimaces and sips the bottle* Ugh… *crumples to the floor*

Majora: *standing over him* How is it?

Ganondorf: Worse than *coughcough* Vaati's chu jelly!

Ashei: I love him as a good friend, yeah? We're close.

Midna: Uh…

Me: *holds up the sign again*

Zelda: I wish we'd gotten to now each other a little better in that one…

Link: Um…

Me: *points and the wedding ring vanishes* Done.

Shad: *blush*

_Darn you and loopholes! Technically, though, Weegee has been warped by the internet so much that he/it is no longer from a fandom so much as forum boards. Bah, too late now.  
Truths:  
Weird glasses pirate guy from WW-what role do you play on the pirate ship if Niko's the joke patsy?  
Malon-who's that Zelda character? *Points at the Wind Fish.*  
Sophie-pirates or ninjas?  
Dares:  
Link-find a Dodongo, name it Yoshi, ride it like a horse, and jump off just before it falls into a bottomless pit. Why? DO NOT QUESTION THE REVIEWERS!  
Ingo-bury your head like an ostrich for five minutes. If you survive, you get cake. If you don't, you get a lying cake.  
Rusl-watch the awful dub of Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X for sword-fighting tips and laughably bad lines.  
You should all watch out. Weegee is coming for you...Why do I feel soul-sucking eyes piercing into my back?_

_-Foxpilot_

Mako: I'm the statagist. I bring Miss Tetra's plans to life!

Malon: It's a fish. *blinks* A _big_ fish!

Me: Ninja pirates!

Link: *is warped to Death Mountain* *does the Dare and is warped back*

Ingo: *sticks head into the dirt*

**5 minutes later…**

Ingo: *comes up gasping*

Me: *handing him cake* How'd you _do_ that?

Ingo: *shakes head as he takes his cake*

Rusl: *settles down with a laptop*

* * *

Read and Review!

*skipping off* 100+ reviews! n.n


	21. Em's still in the dressing room

Hey everyone! Em's still in the dressing room, so I'll be running the chapter.

Zelda: *facepalm* Oh joy...

* * *

_Dang... I just replayed OoT and remembered why I was an Impa fanboy... Ah well.  
Dares  
Impa: Go on a date with Link. And take it seriously.  
Ruto: Forgive me. I have gone to Link/Impa. As consolation, here's a clone of Mikau.  
Midna: Declare Ruto Prime Minister of the Twilight Realm as further consolation.  
Truths:  
Link: Did you enjoy your date?  
Ruto: Was that enough for you to forgive me? I can do more if you want.  
Impa: You took that date seriously, RIGHT? You better have..._

_-RawkHawk2.0_

Impa: I'm a little old for that…

Me: *makes her 12 years old and warps them out*

Ruto: *clings to Mikau*

**1hr 28min later…**

Link: It was okay. A little awkward, but okay.

Ruto: You're forgiven.

Impa: I'm always serious.

_Ok. this is going to be short.  
Linebeck: Sing "Love lead us here" By The Muppets or the other version. (i really don't care as long as they sing it.  
Ciela: see Linebeck's (I'm going to keep doing these dares until you guys realize that you love each other.)  
Ganondorf: then why did you want to remake it it you wouldn't put in any effort? (i'm so confused)  
Sophie:Become a ninja pirate and go do something.  
i got nothing else._

_-Linebecky29_

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=Yvr-lvC_sUs ignore the Lion King graphics…)

The two sighed. I shoved a guitar into Linebeck's hands, and sat back down. Slowly, he began to pick out the tune.

Linebeck: Was I dumb or was I blind? Or did my heart just lose its mind? Why'd I go and throw our perfect dream away…?  
Ceilia: Looking back I'll never know, how I ever let you go… But destiny could see we deserved to have another day!  
Linebeck/Ceilia: Love led us here! Right back to where we belong! We followed a star, and here we are. Now heaven seems so near… Love led us here…  
Linebeck: I confess it's sad but it is true: I lost myself when I lost you. But I held your memory through each lonely night…  
Ceilia: Let's forget what's gone before. Now we both know so much more. And we've been given another chance to make it work out right!  
Linebeck/Ceilia: Love led us here! Right back to where we belong! We followed a star, and here we are. Now heaven seems so near… Love led us here…  
Linebeck: Now I know that life can take you by surprise, and sweep you off your feet!  
Linebeck/Ceilia: Did this happen to us, or are we just dreaming? Dreaming…? We followed a star, and here we are. Now heaven seems so near… Love led us here  
Linebeck: So take my hand…  
Ceilia: And have no fear…  
Linebeck/Ceilia: We'll be alright… Love led us here…

Everyone: *wild applause*

Me: *in sheikah costume (A/N: exact copy of Sheik's outfit)* *warps to the Great Sea*

_Ganondork: Which do you prefer, the poison, or Fluffy?  
Link: Spend an hour with your rabid fangirls.  
Ashei: *thumbs up* I like that answer. Have a sword fight with Rusl.  
Rusl: See above.  
Shad: Can I borrow your dagger for a bit?_

_-Wildheart_

Ganondorf: Um…the keaton only hurts on the surface…

Link: *falling down the fangirl pit* NOOOOoooo…

Ashei: I fight with a staff, not a sword…

Rusl: …

Shad: Um, sure. *replaces it with a scrap of cloth*

_100 review? Congratulations! Let's add to that number, shall we? (Jesus it's been a while)  
Medli, Tetra, and Romani: Underage catfight while Tingle watches! (make it creepy)  
Tingle: What would you rather do: Never become a fairy or become an evil fairy?  
Everyone: There is a cookie that MIGHT be poisoned. Would you eat it?  
MSF: Organize a 2-on-2 death volleyball tournament  
Link and Ganondorf: Have a duel to the death using whole dead fish._

_-keybladeboy_

Me: *back, still in cosplay* Oh, there you are! We were wondering…

Ganondorf: *muttering* You mean _you_ were wondering!

Me: Shut up, you.

Medli/Tetra/Romani: *catfight*

Onyx/Ganondorf/Tingle: *taking bets*

Link: *staring* This feels…wrong.

Me: Agreed. *breaks up the fight*

Tingle: Tingle wants to be a fairy, no matter what! Tingle-tingle-koo–

Me: Shut up.

Tingle: *cowers*

Me: We'll do the tournament at the end, 'kay? *noms on Pocky*

Link/Ganondorf: *start slapping eachother with dead salmon*

_ha! i knew it! You do look epic as a twili, Link! My Link fangirly side is totally smiling :D!  
Dares:  
Link: hmmmmm... Since im feeling genreous towards you right now, you get a cake with your favorite flavor!  
Zelda: since illia has a horse,vatti has a dragon, and midna has a rabbit, I think that its only fair that you get an awesome pet too! Lets see...maybe an owl... Actually an owl would poop all over the place... Aha! Ill give you a very smart phoenix! It will also be pre potty trained for your convieniance! it only listens to you so enjoy!  
Gannondorf: you have to skip around and scream "IM A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL!" at the top of your lungs and you have keep doing it for the rest of the chapter.  
Link(again): point and laugh at gannondorf while he doing the above dare. You can let others join in with you.  
Midna: why is a raven like writing desk? (if you happen to actually know the answer to this then i would be suprised since i dont even know the answer =o. ) also i dare you to record gannon doing his dare.  
Agitha: i give you the abillity to fly. Have fun  
Vats: i dare you to play a prank on anyone in zelda crew.  
Majora: you can join vatti's prank crusade as long as you dont kill anybody.  
Illias: hows the piccori sword working for you?  
Dark: ive been thinking about having you and Link have an epic but i think i that will have to wait till next chapter. For todays dare, you are going to harrass the cuccoo lady in kakario village from OoT. Bonus if you steal her cuccoos._

_-megzarie_

Link: *omnoms on chocolet-mint cake*

Zelda: *strokes her phoenix* What should I call you?

Me: *looks up from laptop* How 'bout "oheň"? It means fire in Slovak.

Zelda: Sure, I guess.

Ganondorf: But I already _did_ that… *fish in the face*

Link: I win! *drops his fish on Ganondorf's head and stalks off*

Midna: I don't know. No one knows.

Majora: I know!

Midna: Really?

Majora: You can make paper out of both of them!

Vaati: No you ca-*realizes* *wrinkles nose* Oh. That's disgusting!

Majora: *skips off into the crowd*

Agitha: *slowly floats up to the ceiling* How do I get down?

Vaati: *drops Ezlo in a mud puddle*

Majora: Can I–

Me: No seduction, either.

Majora: Oh…Where's the fun in that?

Ilia/s: *looks at eachother*

Ilia in white: Um…fine.

Dark: *warped to Kakariko*

_:) this is offical awsomeness  
oh and heres some dares and truths:)  
TP link : say you love midna NO LIEZ!  
midna: tel the freakin truth you love link_

_-The dragon dude_

TP Link/Midna: *looks at eachother for a second* Um…

Me: You can kiss instead.

TP Link/Midna: *now making out passionately*

_You will all join Weegee. Weegee is your master. Weegee is God. *A door closes.* Whew, finally he's gone! What a slave-driving freak!  
Truths:  
Ruto-have you ever tried fish sticks? Do you like to put them in your mouth?  
Lanayru-how did Zant control you? You're a Light Spirit!  
Onox-what's it like having three eyes, golden armor, and one-half of a game?  
Dares:  
Oshus-go out in your whale form and get hamburgers for everyone. I recommend the freeway.  
Ganondorf-go on a boss rush with every major enemy in OoT, WW, and TP. You get no weapons except for...a herring!  
Keaton-write a love letter to Vaati, sign it anonymous, and set up a date at a fancy restaurant, table 6. Come disguised as Sophie, then surprise him when he starts to soften up.  
Closing comment fail. Good-bye._

_-Foxpilot_

Ruto: Fish is better raw.

Lanayru: He did not control me, he stole my light!

Onyx: It's my game, and that makes it awesome!

Veran: *rolls her eyes* Oh, 'cause you're so awesome.

Me: You two can argue later.

Oshus: *transformed* *warped to a ocean-side fastfood place*

Ganondorf: Fu–*warped out*

Random Keaton: *starts writing furiously*

**12hrs later…**

Vaati/Keaton: *warped in from restaurant*

Vaati: *looks disturbed*

Keaton: *snickering*

_Sorry i took so long to review i've been working on devientart check it out if you want.  
Also I have a confession to make. I am a Navi fanboy and proud of it! Don't worry i'm not rabbid now on with th dares!  
Young Link: read Navi's diary about her date with Tael infront of everyone turn about is fair play (make the book bigger if you can't read it.  
Majora: sing pain by three days grace if Sophie is okay with writing it  
Vatti: I'm sorry about the kareoke thing so sing knight of the wind . But more importantly sing Stand by me to Emily  
Tingle what you do to a fairy if you caught one?  
Tatl it was very brave of you to say you were sorry so you get to pull 1 freebee prank on everyone (one per person )  
Navi i hope i don't scare you now. go have fun doing whatever you want.  
Young Link again challenge Mido for boss of the Kokiri.  
Great Deku Tree why the hell did you put Mido In charge and not have Navi join Link when the other fairies joined their partners?  
Tael : here are some baby pictures of Navi_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Navi: *blush* I…I don't keep a diary…

Me: Go ahead.

Majora: *eyes light up* How far am I allowed to go?

Me: …What do you mean? I'm not going to let you kill anyone for the fun of it, if that's what you want.

Majora: No, no, not that! *small smile* I mean, can I make a big show out of it?

Me: You mean the way you make a big show out of everything you do?

Majora: Yes.

Me: Fine.

Majors: *pumps fist and runs off to fix the stage*

**15min later…**

(A/N music: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=0mzSFcUEJWU)

The stage had been rearranged. The floor was changed to stone and the backdrop was a blood-red sky with the moon from Majora's Mask looming in the distance. An sacrificial-looking stone table had been dragged to the middle of the stage. Majora had draped herself across it, a light behind it reducing her to a silhouette.

She took an audible breath. "Pain," she whispered, twisting for a second just on that word, "without love. Pain," again, a small shudder went through her, "I can't get enough. Pain," the shudder again, "I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all…"

As lights came on, she slowly sat up, dragging her hands over the bloodstained table. An odd smile pulled up the corner of her mouth, as she looked at it. "You're sick of feeling numb. You're not the only one. I'll take you by the hand," She picked up an ornate dagger and looked at it. "and I'll show you a world that you can understand…" Turning to the audience, she tipped her head to the side with that slightly disturbed smile, toying with the dagger. "This life is filled with hurt, when happiness doesn't work. Trust me," she pressed the dagger over her own heart and stretched her arm out towards the audience. "and take my hand. When the lights go out you'll understand…"

At that moment, the stage went back to it's original lighting. Majora raised her face to the heavens. Her teeth seemed luminescent, as everyone could still see her little smile spead into a horrid grin. "Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all!" She twisted, rather then spun, in a tight circle. "Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…"  
The lights came back. Her grin was gone before it registered in anyone's brain, and she tipped her head to the side in the most innocent-looking way possible. "Anger and agony, are better than misery. Trust me I've got a plan. When the lights go off you will understand…"

Once again they snapped off and the grin was back. This time she empathized each with a wave of the dagger. "Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all! Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing–rather feel PAIN!"

The lights began snapping on and off, as a bunch of different voices sang back and forth from back stage, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that you're wounded… You know, you know, you know, you know, you know that I'm here to save you… You know, you know, you know, you know, you know I'm always here for you… I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that you'll thank me later…" Majora slowly sunk to her knees, grasping her head. As the last voice faded, she gasped, rather than sang, "Pain, without love… Pain, can't get enough… Pain, I like it rough…'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…"

She looked back to to the audience as the lights snapped on. She had trickles of what looked like blood running down her face and arms, and a deranged smile on her face. "Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all!" She lurched to her feet, and began to back back towards the table. "Pain! Without love. Pain! I can't get enough. Pain! I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all! Rather feel pain than nothing at all! Rather feel PAIN!" She vanished in a flash of light.

There was dead silence in the audience for a second. Then the author muttered, "Yep, just as disurbing as I thought it'd be," and made everything "normal" again.

Vaati: Em hasn't actually come out of the girls' dressing room since the last chapter. I'm starting to get worried…

Tingle: Tingle would convince the fairy to introduce him to the Great Fairy, who could turn Tingle into a fairy!

Navi: No! No, I think it's sweet.

Everyone else with fanboys/girls: *stare at her*

Navi: …What?

Y. Link: *points his sword at Mido*

Mido: *runs for his cowardly life*

Great Deku Tree: I did not make _anyone_ "boss of the Kokiri!" Why? Is he going around saying that again? *sigh*

Tael: *looks at album* Um…

* * *

*flop* Gods I'm tired...

Zelda: Why didn't you just warp her out?

She needs to get over this on her own.

Zelda: *sigh* Please Read and Review.


	22. Valentine's Day is in the Air

Hey! Guess what! I _finally_ got a laptop!

Midna: So you typed this on a new computer?

Nah, it's useless for typing, but it works great for everything else!

Link: And how much did this laptop cost?

Too much for something I can't type my stories on.

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

* * *

_I... am tired. Algebra II is awful.  
Dares:  
MSF: Please, for the love of all that is good, no more singing dares!  
Link: You would dare not fully enjoy your date with Impa! *Force-feeds seven times the recommended dose of Love Potion #9, now with extra permanent!*  
Impa: You are now 14 again. *See above action.*  
Truths:  
Ruto: How's it going with Mikau? Good, I hope.  
Navi: Can you let Link do that?  
Dark Link: Are you aware that nearly every fic you star in is yaoi between you and Link?_

_-RawkHawk2.0_

Me: Um…

Link/Impa: *starry-shojo-sparkly-y looking at eachother*

Ruto: *starry-eyed* Great!

Mikau: *looking very uncomfortable*

Navi: …What?

Dark: *deadpan face* Yes. *points to Shadow* Same for him, *points to Vaati* and him. And many others here, I'm sure.

_hey supppp?  
Dares for today:  
Everyone in the zelda crew: get em out of th dressing or the armegeddeon will happen =O!  
Link: fight Dark in an awesome and totally epic fight or face the wrath of my giant invincable war zebra! You didnt think they existed did you? I named it Sapphron!  
Dark: same as the above dare  
Gannondorf: go skydiving with tingle then vomit on him.  
Tingle: do the above above dare but wear a tux and cry when gannon vomits all over yur suit.  
Vats: wear ezlo for a chapter.  
Zelda: arm wrestle midna  
Midna: do the above dare  
Majora: slap the nearst person to get a totally awesome of your choice  
King bublin: race Sapphron  
On your giant boar. Dont bother attacking him since he's invicable and all that._

_-megzarie_

Link/Dark: *fight*

Me: Just watch this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=XsYFqr5sM5M

Ganondorf/Tingle: *warped out*

**About 2hrs later…**

Ganondorf/Tingle: *back*

Tingle: *still crying over his tux*

Ganondorf: *goes to brush his teeth*

Vaati: *puts on the bird-hat-minish*

Ezlo: *pecks him*

Vaati: *turns Ezlo to stone*

Zelda/Midna: *arm-wrestle*

Midna: *easily beats Zelda*

Majora: *slaps and stabs the guy standing next to her*

Oni: *puts hand over stab wound* Ow…

Majora: O.O WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE?

Oni: I'm…part of the cast…

Majora: *slaps him again and struts off*

Oni: *now holding his cheek as well* She has temper issues…

King Bulbin: *warped out*

_Ok, After much deliberation, I finally have it!  
Dares:  
Majora: Fuse some of the non-tranformation masks with the Fierce Deity mask (Seperately, as in, fuse the mask with the FD Mask, watch the hilarious results, then seperate the two masks for the next combo) and make people wear them. I'd like to see something like the FD Mask combined with the Postman's hat(Fierce Postman! XD). A FD fused with the Keaton Mask would be great(As an appeal to Sophie's Fangirl-ness, Vaati has to wear the Fierce Keaton Mask). Perhaps a FD fused with the Garo Mask (Worn by...hmmm... I Don't know, you decide!  
Emily: When you come out of the dressing room, Michael(My OC, again.) is going to pop in and try to cure your shyness with some shyness curing lessons that he copied into his Grimoire. If any of the villains try to interrupt the anti-shyness lessons, they will be blasted and/or made complete idiots of by way of his illusion magic. (Personally, I would like to see what the author can come up with for Ganondorf and Majora both trying to interrupt the anti-shyness lesson at seperate times. Majora gets illusion-ified [That's not even a word but you get my point.])  
P.S. Michael is abosolutely smitten with the TP version of Zelda, so if Zelda happens to be in her TP form, let the humor commence!  
P.S. Mark 2:  
Dare:  
Ganondorf: Make fun of the fact that Michael likes Zelda and suffer the consequences.  
Navi: Hey, Guess what! Tatl was a complete arse to Link in the beginning of Majora's mask (Getting him knocked out, turned into a Deku, stealing Epona, stealing the Ocarina of Time.) Now do what you will in the name of VENGEANCE! MUAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAA  
Enjoy,_

_-ganesh295_

Majora: *robs the HMS of four masks: Keaton, Garo, Postman's hat, and Breman's* *fishes around in HMS's backpack a bit more* …Damn, Oni's still got his mask!

Oni: *pops up, completely healed* Yep. You need it?

Majora: *deadpan face* We're in a ToD fic.

Oni: *big smile* Shall I take that as a "yes"? *holds out his mask*

Majora: *swipes it*

**5min later…**

Majora had drained a little of the magic from the Fierce Deity Mask (Oni wasn't looking nearly so happy and healthy because of this) and fed it into each of the masks. Various characters had "volunteered" to wear the masks. The Postman looked exactly like himself, except with Oni's face markings and eyes. Keaton Vaati's fur had paled to a silvery-lilac, his eyes were solid red and he had red and gold streaks going through his fur (A/N: SQUEE!). The F. Mask transformed Dampe into a silver-garbed Garo Master, while the F.D. Breman's mask had left Zelda with medium-length baby-blue feathers where her clothes had been, long, golden ones where her hair was, and short, downey pure white feathers everywhere else. She also had a large pair of wings and solid golden eyes.

Trasformed Zelda: *looks at herself* Whoa…

Link: Wow! You look like some forgotten Rito goddess!

Zelda: *embarrassed*

Transformed Vaati: *lays down with a sigh*

Transformed Dampe/Transformed Postman: *wander off*

Em: *screaming through the door* I'M NOT COMING OUT!

Navi: *sad little sniff* I…I don't really believe in vengeance…

_I think I somehow managed to prove that Vaati is at least a little attracted to Sophie. For the record, that wasn't the intent.  
Truths:  
Makar-how do you make a cello out of a bloody -leaf-?  
Tael-do you like LIBRARY SCIENCE!  
Fraaz-how the blazes do you have -icy- fire? Don't give me that magic garbage, either!  
Dares:  
Malon-I am giving you a green, cheaply-made, plastic disco ball necklace. Do something funny with it.  
Malledus-adopt a kitty and take good care of it.  
Byrne-trade your giant metal hand for one of Link's Clawshots, then have a rematch against ST Link and Zelda.  
If a genie grants you three wishes, never ask for a sandwich. Not even if it was the best sandwich ever. This is either advice or random babble._

_-Foxpilot_

Makar: I didn't make it, it was a gift!

Me: From who?

Makar: …Nintendo?

Tael: …What's library science?

Me: Better question: Has anyone seen Zant these last few chapters?

Zant: *runs by, knocking over the camera*

Me: *fixes camera* I take it back.

Fraaz: *barks* (A/N translation: Don't question the logic or physics of our world. I learned that a long time ago.)

Malon: *shoots her father in the back of the head with the necklace and a slingshot*

Talon: Wha? I'm awake! I'm awa-ZZZZZzzzz..."

Malledus: *hovers over kitten, not sure what to do*

Me: *points to him* He doesn't have a body, how can he take care of it?

Majora: Just make him one. You made everyone else a new form.

Me: No! I'm out of ideas… *picks up Malledus's kitty and pets it* If someone else comes up with an idea for him, I'll use it.

Byrne/Zelda/Link: *warped out*

**At the battle…**

Byrne: *tries to grab Link with the clawshot, misses, and is pulled head-first into the floor* *is knocked out*

Link/Zelda: *stare*

All three: *warped back*

_Tingle: I grant your wish. *turns Tingle into a fairy*  
Link: Trap Tingle in a bottle.  
Ganoondorf: Fluffy is not pleased with your answer...  
Ashei/Rusl: Fight.  
Shad: Thanks! *hugs Shad*_

_-Wildheart_

Tingle: *is the freakiest-looking fairy I've ever seen* YAY! Tingle-tingle-koo–

Majora: *whacks him with a flyswatter*

Ganondorf: *takes off like a frickin' bullet through the studio*

Fluffy: *is slightly faster*

(A/N: You guys like the Jeff Dunham reference? XD )

Ashei/Rusl: *fight*

**2hrs later…**

Me: How about we just call it a tie?

Ashei/Rusl: Agreed. *go to clean up*

Shad: *blush*

_I got a few things (you may want to read the fanfiv Yet Again With A Little Extra Help to get some of these)_

Me: I'm going to have to stop you right there, hot dog285. You see, I couldn't find this fanfic. And so a lot of your Dares…did not make any sense. Sorry. If you send me a [link] to the story, I'll put your Dares in the next chapter (or when I finish reading it. Whichever makes the most sense at the time) *sweatdrop*

_ullo i give dare for you  
link i turn you into zora a twili a goron and a sheikah with a kokiri and split you into different bodts  
midna i dare you to make out with twili link for one full chapter on and off  
ruto i dare you to do midnas dare exept with zora link and i dare sheikah link to make out with impa  
i dare hylian link to make out with zelda i dare ganondorf to jump in a pit screaming bloody murder_

_-toonlink343_

Zora Link, Goron Link and Kokiri/Kid Link all looked just like they did in Majora's Mask. Twili Link looked just like he was described in Chap20. Sheikah Link had the same long, lean build as Zora Link, red eyes, platinum-blonde hair, and wore a forest green suit with black accents (A/N: you know, like how Sheik's suit has dark blue markings {images(DOT)wikia(DOT)com/zelda/images/6/69/Sheik_Artwork(DOT)png} and Bongo has red {msfcatlover(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/Bong-Bongo-color-193550042?q=gallery%3Amsfcatlover%2F25934968&qo=5} )

Midna/Twili Link: *make out passionately*

Ruto/Zora Link: *make out passionately*

Mjora: *blinks* That was odd… *looks at me*

Me: I try to give the reviewers what they want. *summons a bowl of pasta*

Majora: *raised eyebrow*

Me: What? It's my lunch! And no, you're not getting anywhere near it! *omnoms her pasta*

Young Impa/Sheikah Link: *making out passionately*

Zelda/Hylian Link: *making out passionately*

Oni: *looks around* I feel kinda left out… *glances at Majora*

Majora: Forget it, moron. Not happening.

Me: *looks up from pasta* Wait, what?

Oni/Majora: Nothing!

_I hate my email, it's been eating alerts and not spitting them back out again. Congrats on the 100 reviews.  
Dares  
Mikau: YOU ARE ALIVE! ALIIIVE!  
Link: I give you this sacred shotgun, used only for fangirls. Use it wisely.  
Ganondorf: I actually feel pity for you, so have this "get out of dare free" card.  
Truths  
Random Goron #1: have you ever wanted to try a rock from a meteor?  
Random Goron #2: same for you._

_-TheBrick_

Mikau: *raises eyebrow* So?

Kokiri Link: *accepts shotgun*

Ganondorf: *takes it* Didn't Foxpilot make these illegal?

Me: And I just got Dared to never put a song in this story again, something I _know_ will be violated by the end of the chapter. Your point will be respected, however *swipes his freedom card and puffs out*

Goron #1: Yus!

Goron #2: What's a meteor?

_Please put the first thing I write in the beginning and they rest where ever they fall this first s part is Important  
*Warps into studio breaks down the door to the girls dressing room and forcibly removes Emily from it then stands in front of the door to prevent her from going back in.*  
Now that that's settled on with the dares  
Tatl: I don't think you heard me You get to pull a prank on each and every person in this fanfic and they can't get back at you for it.  
*Huggles Navi* *Pulls out sword* Anyone laughs at her gets the blade through the heart!  
Navi: You don't have a diary? Then what is this? *Puls out a small book with the words Navi's Diary" on it* Link you get to read it.  
Ganondorf: I drop you into the fanBOY pit Bwahahahah!  
GDT: to answer your question yes Mido has been saying he's in-charge and answr wht=y you didn't have Navi join Link when all the other fairies joined thier partners?  
Keapora Geabora (Rape Owl): Talk to Majora see what happens  
Vatti: Sing Knight of the wind and Then sing Stand by me for Emily  
Tingle: you are now a fairy  
Majora: Fight Nabooru I feel that would be a good match up  
Saria: Do you ever bottle your fairy partner?  
Navi again:Did Link ever bottle you on your adventure? How did it feel? Answer in front of Young Link  
Young Link: Turned to the size of a fairy to a fairy and is bottled by Navi. Lets see how you like it!  
Ruto: You are Now married to Zora Link (Who was split from the Links and is in love with you)  
Emily: Do you hate my for telling Vatti that you're madly in love with him?  
Tael: Did you like the baby pics because I have more  
Dark Link: You are no longer a shadow and your own person Named Dark  
Zelda : you and Shiek are separated and Shiek is turned into your twin brother  
Midna: You get to date TP Link_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Em: *is dragged kicking and screaming out of the girls' dressing room*

Tatl: I did! *scowl* Is the author being lazy again?

Navi: *blush* H-hey!

Kokiri Link: *settles down to read the diary*

Ganondorf: *falls down pit shreiking like a little girl*

Me: Two Dares, one line! n.n

Em: *glances at me* How much Pocky has she had?

Me: Just one pack! Not even a whole box!

Em: *slowly shakes her head*

Great Deku Tree: Link seemed to be doing very well on his own. And he needed to grow up. If I'd given him Navi when he was a baby, he'd have been a true Kokiri, incapable of growing up!

Kokiri Link: *sad little sniff*

Saria: *gives him a hug*

Keapora Geabora: *opens his beak*

Majora: *skewers him with a random spear*

Vaati: *sighs and sings these up on stage: www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=oSvxnkBgkQE and www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=4IC6Iml6YxU&feature=related with Dark and Shadow as his band/backup singers*

Em: *blushing*

Me: …I didn't know Shadow could play the drums.

Oni: Learn something new everyday.

Me: Yes, and most of it useless. Em and I already went through this in the karaoke chapter.

Tingle: Tingle knows! Tingle-ting–*shuts up as Majora raises the flyswatter menacingly*

Me: Why didn't I ever think of doing before?

Nabooru/Majora: *start to fight*

Majora: *becomes Majora's Wrath and manages to wrap her whip around Nabooru* *changes back, walks over and tightens the whip* I think I just won!

Nabooru: *glare* Cheater!

Majora: *all innocence* I simply used my powers to the best of my abilities. Weren't you going to do the same? *walks off*

Saria: No, that's a big taboo amoung Kokiri.

Navi: No, he didn't. And I don't think I could pick up a bottle…

Me: And we have enough Links drifting around the studio right now. Don't need to add any more to the mix.

Ruto: *faints*

Em: *tiny voice* I…not really…

Vaati: *gives her a quick hug*

Em: *blushes to the tips of her ears*

Tael: Well, it was a little awkward…I don't know why she was embarrassed, though. They were *blush* c-cute.

Navi: *turns bright red*

Dark: Thanks.

Shadow: What about me?

Dark: *points the strobe flashlight at him again*

Shadow: *glare*

Zelda/Sheik: *look at eachother*

Sheik: *smiles* This could work.

Zelda: I daresay it could!

Midna: *still making out with Twili Link*

Me: And I made Twili Link out of TP Link, so it all works out! *big grin*

* * *

Lotta romance in this chapter...

Sheik: Is there a problem with that?

Nope, I like romance! I do wish I knew what was up with that Oni/Majora flirtation though, 'cause I _know_ they don't like eachother that way...

Zelda: Who cares?

Sheik: Please Read and Review.


	23. Just a Warning

I'm sorry for how long this is taking. I really am. Blame my #$&ing computer that hates me.


	24. Sorry for the wait

You all know Ganesh, right? He's normally a repeat reviewer.

Zelda: Normally?

We tag-teamed on writing this chapter! n.n

**Pause...**

Everyone: WHAT?

Uh-huh! And before everyone starts freaking out, that is not why it's late. That was Life, insomnia and homework. I am beyond pleased with this arrangement; two minds are better than one, teamwork get things done better, and a whole bunch of other sayings I could throw at you n.n

Midna: So...now that there's two of you...how much...?

We will see.

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

In the meantime, I'd like Ganesh and his OC to introduce themselves please!

Before anyone could so much as think, a purple and blue cone of light appeared as a tall teenager floated down to the ground, clad in funny looking blue and white robes, wearing a blue, pointed hat with a wide white brim, and wielding a staff with a white orb on top of it in one hand and a small green book in the other. His brown eyes barely visible from under the brim of his hat, out of which poked some unruly black hair.

Me: Suddenly, I feel very short...

Ganesh: Hi! *Looks around* Where's Michael?

A loud **BANG** echoed throughout the studio.

Another young man of around the same height appeared beside the first guest. He was wearing a grey tunic, black pants, black gauntlets with adorned with the Twilian Insignia, and was clad in a near-floor-length black robe that was covered in Twilian symbols and had a hood that almost concealed his face. From behind it, a calm grey eye peered out at them. The robe was contrasted by a grey cape that ended near his feet. Two long hilts, one silver-blue and one fire-red, poked out from behind his shoulders. Two shorter hilts, one black and the other sky-blue were visible behind his arms.

Michael: Right here.

Me: And now that introductions and descriptions are out of the way, let's get to work!

* * *

_Now Unlike Last week I'll put these ones up Immediately_

_Shadow: since your being such a whinny brat fine *snaps fingers* Your now a Hylian_

_Sophie: Draw a picture off Twilli-Kokiri Link and post it on devient art (You Know you want to let this just be the push you need)_

_Everyone: Play the CDI Zelda games_

_*Warps into studio* If I've made anyone here angry at me or made their lives too embarrassing, painful, or a living hell go ahead and attack I won't hold it against you (Excluding gannondork because his life is supposed to suck)_

_Vatti sing "Just the way you are " by Bruno Mars to Em (It songs perfect for how madly in love they are)_

_Mido: answer truthfully or I will shove my Getsukage up your ass! Why do you hate Link_

_Ganondorf: I'm giving you a brake Here is a virtual reality helmet that will let you see Hyrule under your control_

_Saria: Have you ever been so Insulted by another Kokiri that you kicked the min the nuts?_

_Navi: Here are some baby pictures of Tael_

_Young Link: Here are some blackmail photos of Tatl (don't ask how I got them It was very painful and involved me getting my heart stabbed, my bones broken, electrocuted,being a victim of successful crotch bombing, run over, drugged, drugged again, really drugged, fake drugged,and electrocuted while learning Gorish, and Zoranisse.)(I'm soooo glade I'm immortal and have hyper regeneration)_

_Tetra: Become a Ninja_

_Shiek: Become a Pirate_

_Majora: You are forced to go on a date with Oni_

_GDT: I grant you the ability to turn human to keep a better eye on your children._

_Emily: I'm sorry for pulling you out of the dressing room but you needed to face your fears He is IN LOVE WITH YOU!_

_Vatti: truth Do you love Emily (I really hope he does)_

_Malon: You get to date Dark._

_Zelda: you get to date Shadow_

_Nabooru: I turned Gerudo valley into a lush green oasis and forest so your people no longer have to struggle_

_Goddesses : I chalange you three to an arm wrestle (I'm going to regret this ^_^')_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Shadow: *puts hands on hips* I was _not_ being a "whinny brat," it's just that _I've_ wanted to be Hylian for longer than _he's_ existed!

Me: I'll get right to work on that, and let everyone know when it's done. Life's a little busy right now.

Everyone: *starts playing*

**However long **_**that**_** took later...**

Me: *tosses aside game console with visible relief*

Michael: Are you sure that that wasn't some sadistic form of torture? *indicates the pulverized wreck of a game console behind him*

Em: Everything we have to do could be interpreted as such on some level.

Ganesh: Thank God that's over. *Mysteriously, his TV and game console are both missing*

Me: *warps Kozan back out before Majora attacks* She'd attack you anyway. It's probably not wise to keep doing that sort of thing, Kozan.

Ganesh: And in case anyone is wondering where my TV and game console went...let's just say that they should be cooking nicely right about now. *Smiles*

Vaati: *plays guitar and sings this: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=Aq8MfmKJ7aE to Emily*

Em: *bright red*

Mido: *pouting* Without even having a fairy, he's still the favorite of both Saria _and_ the Great Deku Tree! It's not fair!

Michael: Live with it, at least Link didn't run away from Queen Gohma.

Mido: How do you know about that?

Michael: *glaring* I know a lot of things, get used to it.

Ganondorf: *puts on helmet and starts grinning like an idiot*

Majora: *takes advantage of the moment to stick Ganondorf with a random sword*

Michael: *Notices that Laevateinn is missing again* Just because Ganesh gave it to you in Chapter 19 doesn't mean you can steal it! *Pulls out Claimh Solais and blasts Majora with a light bolt, takes his Flame Sword back*

Majora: *picks herself up off the floor* Ow. *glares*

Michael: *To Majora* And this is for you. *Starts juggling blue-hot fire bolts* Let's have a vote, shall we? All those in favor of me continuing to juggle these, say 'Ay'.

There were a few chuckles and "Ay"s from around the room.

Michael: *Still juggling the bolts* And those in favor of me throwing every single one of these at Ganondorf?

Whistles, clapping and cheers filled the studio.

Michael: *Evil grin* Motion passed. Ganesh, you wanna join the fun?

Ganesh: *Even-more-evil grin* My pleasure. *Lifts staff*

Suddenly, as each bolt of blue-hot fire made contact with Michael's hand, instead of tossing them back up, he threw each one at Ganondorf. As each blue bolt exploded into hungry flames, Ganesh was throwing what looked like circular saws made entirely of concentrated air, each one simultaneously cutting the Evil King and making the flames flare brightly.

Me: Don't leave me out! *summons a few of those sacred daggers from a few chapters ago, and starts launching them at Ganon*

Michael and Ganesh: *grinning* Wouldn't ever dream of it.

Ganondorf: *flailing around wildly, covered in flames* WHY! Why must the Triforce make me immortal but still not take away the ability to feel pain!

Me: That's life, Piggy *starts eating a sandwich*

Saria: *Looks thoughtful* No, I don't think so. No one in the forest really has cause to insult anyone else...not counting Mido picking on Link.

Mido: *whining somewhere in the background*

Michael: For which Link has never got Mido back, interestingly enough...

Me: He stabbed him through the foot a while back.

Michael and Ganesh: Hmm? I think I missed that.

Me: Someone Dare them to swordfight. But I don't think Mido even owns a sword...

Michael: Let's fix that. *Evil grin*

Mido: *Pales*

Michael: *Raises his hand as black particles storm around it, forming Orlox's Sword* *to Sophie* Remember this one?

The sword looked like a cross between a great sword and a saber, but was closest in appearance to a Darknut's sword. The sword's length was around Michael's height, which was why he was holding the thing with both hands and had it pointing to the floor. There were Twilian designs here and there, but the main feature of the blade were the blood-red runes inscribed onto the wide blade itself. Those runes were the symbol of the blood pact that gave the blade its powers, to an extent.

Me: *already chuckling* Yeah.

Michael: *Booming voice* _AND NOW, FOR A DEMONSTRATION OF ITS POWER!_

Suddenly, the giant blade seemed to soften slightly.

Ganondorf: *Sniggering* That's it? It's power is to soften? HAH!

Just as abruptly as the first change, the blade immediately solidified into a giant meat tenderizer.

Me: *laughing quietly to herself*

Mido/Ganondorf: *go very pale*

Michael: *Twirls pseudo-meat tenderizer threateningly* And just so you know, to me, this thing isn't nearly as heavy as it was for Link, having been endowed with the blood pact's power and with the responsibility of fulfilling the pact after killing the previous owner of the blade.

Em: *looks at me* What's so funny?

Me: *gasping from laughter* They...are about...to die!

Michael: Not necessarily. *Pounds Ganondorf in the same way Toon Link pounded the Helmarock King with the Skull Hammer, then turns Orlox's Sword into a small Kokiri-sword-sized dagger, hands dagger to Mido*

Mido: *nervous* Th-thanks...I guess.

Michael: *grins* No problem. *Thought* Revert.

Suddenly, the now-Pseudo-dagger reverted to its original form of the giant sword, pinning the bullying Kokiri underneath it.

Ganesh: *grinning as Mido squirms to free himself* Wow, how do we manage to go on these tangents from a simple, yet in this case quite crude, Dare?

Me: *shrug* We're having too much fun I guess. *consults list* Let's see...*hands Navi book of baby pictures*

Navi: *clutches it to her chest, blushing furiously*

Ganesh: I thought those were Tael's baby photos, not yours.

Me: Navi gets his, because he got hers. *hands Link Tatl's pictures*

Sheik/Tetra: *switch outfit styles* *stare at eachother*

Majora: *glares* I hate you all.

Oni: *looks hurt* What's wrong with a date with me?

Majora: I hate you the most *both are warped out*

Ganesh: Should I make sure they don't try to kill each other in addition to keeping record of this historical moment?

Me: Nah, they're both immortal. They can seriously hurt each other, but not much more.

Ganesh: What about keeping record of the date?

Me: Go ahead. I'm finding ice cream *wanders off*

_Later...At whatever restaurant they were at..._

The two half-deities were, unlike Ganesh's prediction, not attempting to tear each other to pieces. Oni actually looked quite happy about the whole deal, as well as the seemingly infinite supply of alcohol that he was trying to put a dent in. Of course, it could also have something to do with the fact that, this time around, Majora was neither a raging beast that was the sole inhabitant of some ghostly netherworld nor was she some kind of demonic wraith and he a mask that she was keeping uncomfortably close by. No, this time, she actually looked quite nice, and was keeping her sadist side under the surface.

Majora looked up from her fish, and glared across the table. "You realize that if you weren't immortal, you'd be in an alcoholic coma by now?"

He nodded happily, earning him a snort of disgust. He squinted over her shoulder, and muttered, "Hey, isn't that the wizard from the studio?"

Majora shot to her feet and whirled around. "Where?"

Ganesh, seeing that he had been spotted (Insert Metal Gear Solid-style exclamation mark here), quickly teleported to another table. But not quickly enough that Majora didn't notice the blue and purple cone of light.

"You!" Everyone in the room turned around to look at her at the same time. She didn't care as she stormed across the room. Sophie warped in, grabbed Ganesh by the arm, and warped them both out with a small "pop!"

Oni sighed, and turned back to his drink.

Ganesh: Thanks for saving me from an homicidal half-deity.

Me: No problem. She can be a pain some times.

Majora: *Teleports in* You! What were you doing there!

Ganesh: *discreetly hands Sophie an account of the date before walking forward* And why can't I go there? That place has my favorite kind of steak! Not to mention an almost endless supply of beer, mead, wine, and just about any other alcoholic beverage you can think of.

Me: Oh, that reminds me! I need to go get Oni. Not safe to drink and warp, all that. *pops out*

Ganesh: *Suddenly looks terrified of being in the same room as Majora* Umm...

Majora: *slightly angry but mostly seductive* Where do you think you're going?

Ganesh: *Looks around frantically, teleports to random chandelier hanging from the ceiling* Away! That's where.

Me: *back with a _very_ drunk Oni* What the _hell_ is going on here? Majora, you are not allowed to attack my co-author or his co-host!

Ganesh: *Still hanging from the chandelier* I actually think she was trying to flirt with me at the same time, it's kinda scary!

Me: *walking Oni to the restroom* Yeah, she's one of those people who'll sleep with some one and kill them in the morning. I still can't believe she came from my imagination.

Ganesh: Technically she came from the imagination of the great Shigeru Miyamoto(Co-A/N: Forgive me if I misspelled his name, no offense to him intended. And if I did, someone please tell me how to spell it correctly).

Me: Not her personality, sadly enough.

Zelda: *walks into studio* What's she doing this time?

Those words fell completely deaf on a certain necromancer. Michael was finding himself unable to do anything more than stare at whoever had just come out of the girl's dressing room. For him, time had just all but stopped as he looked at her. The sheer wisdom that seemed to radiate from her, in addition to her beauty, was undescribable. To put it shortly, he was floored almost instaneously.

Tingle: *sniggering* Ooh, is the fairy in what Tingle describes as 'love at first sight'!

Nobody is quite sure of what happened next, but one minute, Tingle and Michael were standing a good few meters away from each other, the next, an eight foot tall demon holding a large maul with a block-ish, spiked head was where Tingle was standing looking as though it had already swung and Tingle was flying out a creepy-35-year-old-guy-in-green-tights-shaped hole in the wall mid-way through saying 'Tingle, Tingle, Koo-Limpah!'

Demon: That felt good. *grins, turns back*

Michael: *innocently* Where were we? *Sheaths both swords, makes Orlox's sword revert to a sword, makes it disappear*

Great Deku Tree: *becomes an old man* Wha?

Em: *blushing even harder*

Vaati: *blushing a little* Um...well...yeah.

Michael: *grinning* Well, in that case. *Discreetly hands Vaati a few pages from his Grimoire* You'd be surprised what kind of books you can find in the Library over in Hyrule Castle.

Vaati: *Looks at the pages, then starts blushing furiously*

Emily: What are those?

Vaati: *Stuffs the pages into his pocket hastily* N-nothing.

Malon/Zelda/Dark/Shadow: *warped out*

**five minutes later...**

Zelda: *warps them all back* That was _beyond_ awkward.

Nabooru: *bows* Thank you.

Farore/Nayru/Din: *start arm wrestling*

_I. Hate. Chemistry. But, I love this fic, so it all evens out._

_Dares:_

_Kafei: It's time, bro. *Pulls out shampoo and washbasin* I know it's not really purple._

_The Bombers: 3... 2... 1... GO!_

_Majora: Explain to our readers the story of Spring Break of '92. And make sure not to leave out the Mardi Gras necklace fiasco._

_Truths:_

_The Bombers: Why are you so obnoxious?_

_Din: What purpose could there have possibly been for giving Ganondorf the Triforce of Power?_

_Link: Is it true that whoever has both Triforces will take control of the kingdom?_

_-PSI Objection_

Ganesh: PSI Objection, your username is a compilation of two copyright violations.

Me: Lots of ours are, except for those of us who made it from our names.

Ganesh: Good point.

Kafei: *grabs his scalp* No! It _is_ natural! Make it a Truth, I'll say it again!

Em: Why are you freaking out about this?

Kafei: Anju once thought it was dyed and scrubbed it 'til it turned white.

Bombers: *scatter*

Michael: *Tracks each one down*

Majora: Which part? Oni getting even drunker than he is now? The number of "streakers" there were there? Or the part where I-

Me: I'm gonna stop you right there. MOVING ON!

Ganesh: Mardi Gras Necklace fiasco? Someone please tell me what PSI Objection means by that!

Jim: Us? Obnoxious?

Other Bombers: *equally oblivious*

Din: What makes you think I _gave_ it to him? He _stole_ it.

Ganesh: I personally thought he made it quite clear that he was entitled to it, but that could just be him being really stuck up.

Me: "When a thief touches the Triforce, if their heart isn't perfectly balanced, they will only receive the part they value most." Isn't that how the legend goes?

Din: *nods*

Link: There are three Triforces...

_Dares:_

_Emily: HAHA! Now that you are out of the dressing room, let's try the anti-shyness lessons again! (Laughs diabolically, gets smacked upside the head by Michael)_

_Majora: I forgot one mask for you to fuse with the Fierce D. The...(insert drum roll here) Fierce Deku! Guess who gets to wear it!_

_Ganondorf: Make fun of the fact that Michael is smitten with Zelda. I just want to see you in agonizing pain. Don't worry, I'm bringing you back to life in my fic!_

_Truths:_

_Emily: Why the heck are you so shy? Seriously!_

_Vaati: How'd you like the Fierce Keaton mask?_

_Oni: Why the hell did you flirt with Majora? Seriously!_

_Majora: Do you want to kill Oni? Cause if so, then go right ahead._

_Juggling two different fanfics at once,_

_-ganesh295_

Em: *tries to run for the changing room again*

Michael: *Blocks Em* Come on, what's so bad about anti-shyness lessons?

Em: I-it's not the lessons themselves... It's the implied embarrassment that worries me...

Michael: *Reassuring smile* There's nothing embarrassing about wanting to get help, is there? *Death glares everyone else except for Vaati*

Ganondorf: *Laughs*

Michael: *discreetly sticks him in the stomach with both wrist blades* Yeah, I know, those jokes are really funny, aren't they?

Ganondorf: Ow. *Wondering why Twilian metal hurts him*

**Somewhere in the background...**

Majora: *pulls energy out of Oni's mask and puts it in the Deku Mask*

Oni: *holds his stomach* Why do you keep doing this to me? It effing _hurts_.

Ganesh: That's why she does it, she enjoys the pain of others.

Oni: I am really glad I'm still mostly drunk.

Ganesh: I thought deities were largely immune to the effects of alcohol.

Oni: No. Not pain either.

Majora: *Points at Ganesh* You! (Yup, she's still ticked off about that)

Me: Dear gods, let it go!

Majora: No! First, I had to go on a date with an alcohol-loving deity, and he *Points at Ganesh as though there's a crossbow attached to her finger* kept a record of it!

Me: *hiding the record* Did what? Is there any evidence?

Majora: *Still screaming* Yes! I saw his book! He had to have written it in that!

Ganesh: Actually, that's my God Book, it has a list of spells in it, as well as enhancing my magical power.

Me: Every author has their special item. I have a pen that doubles as a dagger, KBB his super powerful keyboard, etc.

Ganesh: Actually, this *indicating his robes* is all from Runescape.

Me: ...So the book's not your item?

Ganesh: No. This *pulls out a black book with a Triforce symbol on it* is my item. It's basically a replica of Michael's Grimoire, out of which he is now reading anti-shyness lessons to Em. But it has a very interesting property. *Pulls a sheet out of it* Now watch as the powers of origami take hold! *Quickly folds the paper into a shuriken* TADA!

Majora: So? You made a paper throwing-star, good for you.

Ganesh: -_-...*throws the shuriken at the wall, where it sticks with a loud _THUNK_* You were saying?

Me: Okay...Let's move on before we run out of chapter space.

Ganesh: I thought there wasn't a limit on these chapters.

Me: There's not. We might be having a wee bit too much fun, though...

Ganesh: Last I checked, there wasn't such thing as 'too much fun'. *Makes more paper throwing-stars and uses them to pin FD to the wall by his clothes* See?

Oni: *muttering* Oh, that's real nice...

Me: You're not drunk anymore, are you?

Oni: ...No.

Ganesh: Oh fine, *Pulls out even more paper-throwing stars and pins Majora to the wall beside him* Happy now?

Majora: No. *glares*

Oni: Actually, I do feel a little better...

Majora: Shut up.

Ganesh: I don't know whether I should be laughing or completely freaked out...

Me: Don't laugh, you'll insult her. You don't want her any angrier than she already is.

Ganesh: *Wondering aloud* And you'd think she'd let go of it by now...tut, tut *Shakes head*

Oni: She's held a grudge against me for a few thousand years...

Majora: *punches Oni* I said shut up!

Ganesh: Yeah, well you kinda deserve it. *Walks away whistling* *To Sophie* Don't they make such a cute couple though?

Me: *also walking away, smiling* Yeah, and he's the only man she can't kill, so they're practically perfect for each other.

Ganesh: I think we just gave birth to another pairing...*shudders* Non-canon pairings don't make me feel too good...for whatever reason.

Me: If it's cute and it works, I'll support it. Don't ask why.

Michael: *still reading off anti-shyness lessons and walking Em through some exercises to help with shyness* Now, I want to go through how you are supposed to stand up to someone... Let's use Ganondorf as our test subject.*Thinking* _Maybe I should've used someone less... intimidating, maybe someone on the shorter side would've been a better idea too, I mean, come on, he's eight feet tall and doesn't need to absorb the essences of two elemental blades to get to that height!_

Em: I-I don't know about that... I mean...*gulps*

Majora: *slams the Fierce Deku Mask on Ganon's face*

Fierce Deku Ganondorf was a small, wrinkly-looking Deku Scrub, with "thinning" red hair and an odd looking face.

Ganondorf: Hey!

Me: How'd you get down?

Majora: *nods toward Michael*

Oni: *from other room* WILL SOME ONE _PLEASE_ LET ME DOWN?

Michael: *exasperated* Again with the paper shurikens?

Ganesh: *grinning* Better than usual actually, I didn't take any skin off.

Em: *facepalm*

Me: *eating Pocky* What?

Em: Never mind. Um... My Truth; I'm not exactly formidable, powerful, or gorgeous, so...

Midna: So you don't have the world's best self-confidence?

Em: Yeah...

Michael: So! Neither am I, compared to Midna or Link or Zelda. And I don't think I can be thought of as shy.

Ganesh: *glaring* Michael, shut it and stop rubbing it in.

Me:*also glaring* Women _happen_ to be sensitive to these things most of the time.

Michael: *hanging head in shame* Thank you very much, Over-confident side.

Most characters in studio: *exchanging looks*

Me: *rolls her eyes*

Ganesh: Let's forget this happened. *glares at Michael before casting spell that blanked out the memories of the last few seconds for everyone in the studio except for himself and Sophie* So far as most of the people here are concerned, this never happened...I love memory modification.

Majora: ...What?

Me: *small smile* Nothing. Moving on...

Ganesh: So, Vaati, how did you like the Fierce Keaton mask? *summons one*

Vaati: *looking very scared* It hurt... and she *points trembling finger at me* freaked out.

Me: You were _so _cute, though!

Majora: *shocked stare* ...He's standing, visibly, within twenty feet of the fangirl author!

Ganesh: *sarcastic* No, really! It's a historical moment!

Majora: *glare* I was a bit surprised, is all.

Oni: SOMEBODY LET ME DOWN!

Em: *sighs and walks off*

Ganesh: Ah well *sighs* it was fun while it lasted...though it was even funnier when Majora was stuck up there with him.

Majora: I _will_ kill you.

Me: No, you won't.

Ganesh: *sweatdrop* See ya for now! *hands Sophie the Fierce Keaton mask and runs as fast as the robes will allow, with Majora close behind him* I'll be right back...I hope.

Me: *shrugs and looks at the list* Let's see... Oni, you have a Truth *shows him*

Oni: *shrug* It's what I do.

Me: ...And you're immortal so Majora can't kill you. NEXT SET!

Michael: Are you sure? I thought Ganondork was supposed to make fun of me first?

Me: He's a Deku. _Please_ can we move on? *puppy dog eyes*

Michael: *eye twitch* Um... *thinking:* Can't...resist...puppy dog...eyes...Oh I give up... *speaking:* Can I burn him at the end of the chapter?

Me: Burn him anytime you want. I'm getting the next set, though.

_Hi!_

_Dares:_

_Ganondorf- Let everybody tie you up to a pole, then whack you until they feel like stopping! :D_

_Zelda- slap OoT Link multiple times._

_Sheik- Hey, hey, hey, geuss what? I love you. :D *hugs and does not let go*_

_Shadow- go around popping out of everybody's shadow randomly to scare them._

_Em- aww, it's okay. I think Vaati feels the same way. Have a cookie. :)_

_Truths:_

_Zelda- You have magic right? Why did you never help Link? And don't give me that Sheik crap!_

_Link- Have you ever actually resent Zelda for making you go save Hyrule?_

_-Iloveshiekey_

Ganesh: *reappears* You have a semi-fangirl/boy-ish, not gonna go into which, username.

Me: They acknowledged it themself the first time they reviewed.

Ganesh: Oh...man, I miss way too much around here...

Me: Speaking of missing, where's Majora?

Ganesh: The binding spell should be wearing off in three...two...one.

Majora: *drops from the chandelier, lands unharmed*

Me: ...How does everyone do that but me?

Ganesh: You never tried.

Me: I did. I deleted it. It was embarrassing. _Moving on._

Ganesh: How many times are you going to say that?

Me: *pinches the bridge of her nose* However many it takes. And I thought we were unfocused normally...

Ganesh: My presence adds a whole new level of chaos to most things...I like chaos!

Me: *points to everyone* Ganondorf, Pinata Dare recreation.

Deku Ganon: *attempts to run for his life*

Everyone else: *catches him, tie him up, and beat him to a sappy (he _is_ a plant) pulp*

Zelda: *slaps Kokiri Link twice, then gives him a hug* Sorry, Dare.

Sheik: *looks very, _very_ uncomfortable* Um...fangirl...can't...breathe...

Shadow: *pops out of Midna's shadow* Boo!

Midna: *slaps him with her giant, flame-orange hair hand*

Shadow: Ow...Do I have to do this?

Me: Yes. *shoos him on his way*

Ganesh: *shaking head* This never gets old, does it?

Everyone else: *nods sagely*

Em: *eye twitch* I hate it when they do that...

Me: *blinks* Why?

Em: It just irritates me.

Ganesh: AHH! The return of the sagely nodding! *undertone* I'm not entirely sure that that's a real word...

Me: *shrug* Lots of things we say aren't real words.

Michael: Ah well... Next! *Shadow pops out of Michael's shadow*

Shadow: *Resignedly* Boo!

Em: *rolls her eyes and starts eating her cookie*

Michael: *stares at Shadow* Do you have some kind of unconscious death wish?

Shadow: *wince* No... the Dare says "everyone's shadow". *melts back into the shadow and pops up halfway across the room*

Michael: *Pulls out his crossbow and shoots him* This thing never fails to come in handy.

Shadow: *tugs out the bolt* OWOWOW! This sucks!

Michael: Said handiness becomes quite self-evident when I use barbed bolts. *innocent smile*

Zelda: Spirit Tracks? I save Link's life, _and_ travel with him the whole way.

Ganesh: Not to be forgotten, the numerous Zelink moments in that game...they should do that more often...

Me: Yeah, if Nintendo made the official pairing of each game clearer, people would stop yelling at each other about "OTP"s

Ganesh: They did that in Twilight Princess didn't they? Making the official pairing quite clear.

Me: I think so, but there are people who'd argue... Ah well. Some fans won't be satisfied even if the characters are making out in a corner for half the game...

Ganesh: Somehow I doubt that...

Me: *shrug* Link?

Link: Once or twice, normally when I'm fighting a really hard boss.

_Ganondorf: Get revenge on Link for everything he's done to you._

_Link: Sorry._

_Tatl: Did you prank Shad? If so, what did you do?_

_Midna: Marry Twili Link._

_Ashei: Can you teach me to fight?_

_Random Torch Slug: Die! *stabs with Shad's dagger*_

_Shad: Here you are. *returns dagger* If an army of slugs comes after you, just blame me, 'kay?_

_-Wildheart_

Ganesh: Should I even comment about this username?

Me: People are going to wonder what you would have said, but I'm going to say no.

Ganesh: Why do I have a feeling that this is going to become something of a running gag?

Me: ...I think it might already be one...

Ganesh: *Smiling* Yay! I've always wanted some sort of running gag.

Me: You mean like my Pocky? *pulls some out of thin air*

In the background, Deku Ganon was firing bubbles at people he didn't like (aka, everyone he saw)

Majora: *is hit* *freezes* Is there _snot_ in my hair? *slowly turns to the nearest person* There is, isn't there?

Postman: *frightened nod*

Majora: *pulls out her whips, growling* He is _dead!_

Michael: I am _not_ to be outdone in this matter! *Pulls out Laevateinn, points it at Ganondorf* _Kill._

Ganesh: And have I just been forgotten? *Twirls staff in an intricate pattern* Rage of Chaos!

Me: HIT THE DECK! *does so*

Everyone not involved in this: *takes her advice*

Ganesh: And just so you know, there is no such thing as overkill in my book.

Suddenly, a loud _THOOOM_ echoed throughout the studio as Ganesh unleashed his power in the form of a shockwave that alternated between grey, black, white, red, yellow, and silver blue and knocked over the Deku, ripping gashes in its wooden skin. Majora soon followed, lashing the transfigured Evil King with her viciously spiked whips until Laevateinn, by now a blazing blur, cleanly impaled the Deku and nailed him to the wall as the flames on the Loki-crafted blade consumed the wooden being.

Deku Ganondorf: *is very, very dead*

Ganesh, Michael, and Majora: *celebrating a job well done*

Ganesh: Should we even bother to revive him?

Shadow: *pops out of Ganesh's shadow* Boo!

Ganesh: AHHHHHH! *smashes Shadow across the face with his staff, then blasts him with four fire-bolts simultaneously*

Shadow: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! THIS REALLY SUCKS! WHY DO I KEEP CHOOSING THE WRONG PEOPLE TO SCARE!

Me: *heals him* I think we should release Shadow from his Dare. He's suffered enough. *pats Shadow on the head*

Michael: Objection! *Phoenix Wright pose, pulls out a Deluxe Pictograph Box and snaps a picture of Sophie patting Shadow on the head* Now he has. *pockets the picture, smiles*

Me: *twitch* …I can empathize with Majora right now.

Majora: You want to kill him?

Me: *glares at everyone* I'm getting sugar. Don't kill each other. *stomps out*

Ganesh: *looks around* I know this is kinda late coming, but Wildheart, your username is awesome in its own respect.

Link: ...For what? The Dares are starting to blur together...

Nabooru: I think that's a sign we've been doing this for too long.

Midna: Didn't someone else already have us get married?

Em: I think so...

Tatl: *sniggering* I replaced a few pages in his diary with pictures of Ashei, and then showed her the pictures. *full-out laughing* That was definitely one of my funnier ones!

Link: You do realize he's right here, and he has a bottle.

Tatl: *sweatdrop* Wha- *is bottled by Shad* Oh...great...

Michael: Now that is karma at its finest!

Ashei: If you'd like.

Torch Slug: *is dead*

Shad: *stares at the dagger* There's still blood on it...

Me: *skips back in* Hey, we have triple-chocolate ice-cream in the fridge! *pause* Or maybe I should say "had triple-chocolate ice-cream in the fridge." I think we're out. *innocent smile*

_Yes, I ruined something! And now I'm making myself look like a complete donkey! *Turns face into Donkey's from Shrek* lulz, Eddie Murphy._

_Truths:_

_Majora-what size watch do you wear?_

_GDT-do you like syrup?_

_Saria-how can the Ocarinas be used like cell phones. Other than magic, of course._

_Dares:_

_Tingle-your turn! Get turned into a complete donkey._

_Malladus-YOU HAVE FAILED! *Sucks you up with a vacuum cleaner* that is incorrect, Master Malladus._

_Ganondorf-eat spinach that has been sitting in between the toes of a weevil for tree weeks._

_I think I'm high on crackficy goodness._

_-Foxpilot_

Majora: ...What? Why would I wear a watch?

Great Deku Tree: No!

Saria: They...can't. Not without magic.

Tingle: *horrified face* NO! Tingle cannot turn into a donkey! How will Tingle be able to find fairies? NO! *is completely turned into Donkey from Shrek*

Everyone: *feeling a wide range of emotions from pleasure (Majora) to horror (Link, Midna, Zelda, and all the fairies present) to straight-up WTF looks (everyone else)*

Malladus: *muffled noises from inside vacuum bag*

Ganesh: Exactly what kind of vacuum was that? The Poltergeist 3000?

Me: The what now?

Ganesh: *teaching voice* The Poltergeist 3000 is an advanced vacuum with subspace storage systems that can hold indefinite amounts of spiritual energy. In addition, it can regurgitate elements such as Fire, Water, and Ice when the appropriate coins are collected. The coins allow Luigi to see the Elemental ghosts as cute little balls with yellow-orange eyes. The Elemental ghosts can then be vacuumed up to provide Luigi with a quantity of a specific type of spiritual energy. When the energy is expended, it drains from the Elemental ghost's power until it runs out, at which point Luigi would be required to suck up another Elemental ghost. The power can be released as either a steady stream or a quick burst. He can instantly refill the ghost's power by sucking up another of the same type. If he vacuums an Elemental ghost of a different element, then the current Elemental ghost will instantly be ejected from the Poltergeist 3000 and the element will change to that of the new ghost.

Me: Ah. Got it. *revives Deku Ganon and hands him the plate of disgusting, rotting spinach*

Deku Ganon: How am I supposed to eat with this? *points to snout*

Me: Majora will be happy to help you, if you need it.

Majora: *cracks her knuckles*

Deku Ganon: *gulps*

Midna: *picks him up with her hair hand and starts bashing him against the studio walls* And that's for killing me! *puts him down and removes the mask*

Ganondorf: *lying on the floor dazed* Oww... everything...hurts.

Michael: *staring at the spinach with a look of disgust* I am actually considering asking that he be released from this one, but nobody would likely want to miss this one. *gulp* Ugh this is going to be disgusting. *reaches out to pick up the spinach, evil grin* On second thought, *pulls out Valmanway, picks up the spinach with an Illusion blade, moves the blade to over Ganondorf's mouth* this works much better.

Ganondorf: *shuts his mouth*

Michael: Stop acting like a two year-old!

Ganondorf: *Opens his mouth* How dare you call me-

Michael: *tosses up the spinach with the illusion copy and then stuffs it down Ganondorf's throat*

Ganondorf: *gagging on the spinach*

Michael: *somewhat evil grin* I could definitely get used to this.

Ganesh: You do realize that they can Dare you as well, right?

Michael: $#!T!

Ganondorf: *has choked to death*

Me: ...Hey, we've succeeded in killing him _twice_ so far this chapter! Must have something to do with overkill.

Ganesh: Again, I say that there is no such thing as this "overkill" you speak of.

Me: Anyway, NEXT! *picks up next list*

_Heyyyyyy!_

_Dares:_

_Zant: since ive been bit lienent on you lately, you are gonna get a mega dare! You have to get high on helium, scream like that fred dude from youtube and while your still high, you have to date an ordon goat who can talk and has a weird foot fetish. Good luck!... Or not...?_

_Link: Hunt gannondorf. You know like as in big game hunting. Do everything you can kill your quarry._

_Gannondeer: you have to avoid Link to stay alive. Unfourtunatly, you will have to wear HUGE antlers (hence the nickname I just gave you), which will be a disadvantage. The get out dare free card will not work on this dare( dont you just love loop holes?) Good luck...?_

_Majora: what was with the flirting with Oni? I thought you were supposed to hate each other? Or are you hiding somthing?_

_HMS: why do you always smile even when you were clearly angry at link that one time in the clocktower?_

_Zelda: Find these things: an egomaniac, all of the free willy movies, a pink goron, and a pair Vatti's shoes. Its just a rediculous scavenger hunt. If you somehow find the pink goron then i honestly dont know what i will do_

_Midna: nice job in beating zelda in that last dare! You may have some ice cream or you can have a snuggie._

_Vats: which one of your forms do you like best?_

_Tingle: i seriously dont belive that someone acctualy turned you into a fairy, so im going to have to tourture you. The tourture will be the chinese water torture. Just be grateful that im not using the bamboo torture on you this chapter ( if you dont know what it is then look it up on google)_

_-Megzarie_

Ganesh: Megzarie, I honestly don't think I would've been able to come up with that username myself.

Zant: *Pouting* No! I'm not going on a date with a goat!

Me: Then we send you to the fangirl pit.

Ganesh: He doesn't have any fangirls. How's that supposed to work?

Me: Do I need to count the haters?

Ganesh: Never mind. Maybe he'll change his mind when he's got the helium in 'im.

Me: *nods and hands Zant a helium tank*

Zant: *looks puzzled*

Me: Just stick the tube in your mouth and take a deep breath, okay?

Ganesh: Are you sure that this is a smart thing to do?

Me: We've had dares for him that are?

Ganesh:...good point. On with the insanity!

Zant: *takes a deep breath of helium, and squeaks* Hey! *clearly likes being squeaky* *runs around screaming*

Ganesh: I hope he realizes that this is really ticking certain people off and, considering what happened a few minutes ago...

Me: Are you implying that he can think ahead? *warps Zant to his creepy date*

Ganesh: No, I'm stating that he can't.

Me: Should we warp Link and Ganon out so no one _else_ gets hurt on their dare?

Ganesh: Be my guest, even though, technically, I am your guest.

Me: *warps them out* *reading list* Let's see... Majora?

Majora: I _do_ hate him. If I had any say in it, he'd be dead by now.

Oni: Honestly! What did I ever do to you?

Ganesh: You "killed" her original form and the mask wraith, although that was as a mask that Link wore.

Oni: She stuck me in that mask!

Me: You pissed her off when she was mortal. Was not a good idea, that.

Ganesh: Indeed.

HMS: I always smile! It is why I am "Happy"!

Tetra: ...By any chance, are you related to "the man of smiles" from Phantom Hourglass?

Ganesh: Do they even know the other exists?

HMS: I have many pupils, though I know not what they are calling themselves by now...

Ganesh: *is looking very mortified*

Em: What's up?

Ganesh: Take note of the creepy person with an even freakier smile.

Em: I'm trying _not_ to.

Michael: NEXT!

Zelda: Impossible scavenger hunts... Why does something like this always show up?

Michael: Not so impossible really. They didn't say anything about illusions. *uses illusionary magic to turn Darbus pink* I feel sorry for the poor sucker who laughs at him.

Zelda: *smiles* Thanks! *glances at list* Egomaniac would be Ganon... Movies are in the rec room. *wanders off*

Michael: *blushing for obvious reasons*

Midna: What kind of ice cream?

Me: There's a box of Mint Chocolate-Chip in the freezer...

Midna: *grabs Twili Link's hand and drags him into the kitchen*

Michael: *shaking head with a strange smile on his face* And yet after quite a measure of time as her bodyguard, she can still surprise me.

Vaati: I prefer to be Hylian, actually. It's safer than Minish and... well, better looking than Demon.

Em: *blush*

Michael: She agrees strongly.

Em: H-hey!

Michael: What? I did this with Link and Midna all the time. *sigh* Those were the days...

Em: *stares at her feet* What's the next dare?

Me: Chinese water torture.

Ganesh: How on earth is that going to work with a fairy?

Me: Same way as everyone else, I think. It's mental torture, mostly.

Ganesh: I know that, but I'm thinking about finding an apparatus small enough for him.

In the background, Tingle was...being Tingle.

Me: I say we change him back.

Ganesh: Now that I can do! *Spins staff over his shoulder and fires a grey bolt of magic*

Tingle: *is hit and reverts to "normal"* What did the fairy man do to Tingle?

Ganesh: *wondered why he didn't use a fire bolt*

Me: Who wants to do the honors?

Ganesh: Let's have Majora do it.

Majora: *evil grin* Yes, I've only done this once!

Me: Okay, go ahead. *watches the demoness drag Tingle away* I almost feel bad for the little creeper. Almost.

**Two or so hours later...**

Majora: *walks back in* That was boring, it only took half a hour before he started screaming, and eventually that got obnoxious.

Ganesh: You got bored of a sadistic activity! Now that is something new!

Majora: I'm not a masochist, and that little...thing has quite the set of lungs on it. *tugs on one pointy ear* Ouch.

Ganesh: I wonder if he'd feel better if he knew what bamboo torture was.

Me: Probably not.

Ganesh: Do you even know what it is?

Me: Yeah! Mythbusters proved it's an efficient means of torture.

Ganesh: They were testing Chinese water torture not bamboo torture.

Me: They tested both!

Ganesh: Hmm, I must have missed that one.

Me: It only works if done outdoors, though.

_Truths_

_Fierce Diety/Oni/whatevertheheckyournameis: Are you aware that, in pretty much fic I've read involving you, you've been attracted to Link?_

_Navi/Tatl/King/Midna: It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Nah, just kidding, I never found you four annoying. Except for you, Kingy._

_Em: What would you do if you had your own man-harem of Vaatis?_

_Romani: ...Your silence is all I needed._

_Dares_

_Mikau: I meant that you were back from the dead. You've been a ghost this entire time. Haven't you noticed?_

_Ganondorf: Sorry about the card. Have some cake instead. Then Warlock Punch the person next to you. Nothing's canon in this thing, anyway._

_Link: Push the person next to you into the fanboy/girl pit of DOOM! Preferably Ruto, I don't think I've done anything to her in a while._

_Four Sword Link: So, you have enough Links drifting around the studio? Then why not make some more?_

_Vaati: Hug Em. All ten of you. Then hug MSF. What? I'm in a puppies-and-rainbows mood right now._

_Tingle: Turn into a fairy, then back into whatever you are (Hylian, I think). Am I evil?_

_-TheBrick_

Ganesh: *shaking head* Thank you very much for that rather perverted truth...Good Lord.

Oni: I am aware, I just don't see why anyone would think that.

Ganesh: By the way, the yaoi fanfare isn't just limited to , there's some on youtube as well, though it's in the form of drawings. I pretty sure that there's something on deviantArt too, but I haven't checked.

Me: That's where most of the pics come from.

Ganesh: *horrified face*

Everyone: *nods sagely*

Em: *glares at her feet*

Michael: What is it with glaring at your feet as if they're the ones you're ticked off at?

Em: It's hard to glare at a crowd when you're inside of it.

Michael: Easy problem to solve! *Explosion warps both himself and Em to outside of the crowd*

Em: *now looks uncomfortable* Okay...Can we go back?

Michael: *shrugs* Okay. *explosion warps them back*

Me: *looking at the list* This one's more of a statement than a truth.

Ganesh: Try rewording it next time, Brick.

Em: *stares her truth* What? Nothing! ...Why?

Michael: *looks over her shoulder, "WTF?" face* I'm currently resisting a very strong urge to make the guy who wrote this feel like he just went three quick rounds with Quinton "Rampage" Jackson on a day when said UFC fighter was ticked off at the world.

Me: *stares* Okay...Would not want to see that.

Ganesh: Trust me, you _really_ don't want to.

Me: NEXT!

Romani: *is silent in her cute, innocent, 12-year old way*

Mikau: Well, yeah, I _noticed_.

Ganesh: How is that a dare?

Me: *shrug*

Ganesh: *watches Ganondorf look at his cake in a strange manner* There is something very ironic about this.

Ganondorf: How do you "Warlock Punch" anyone?

Majora: I think you just punch them really hard. Like this *socks Ganondorf in the stomach and walks away*

Ganondorf: *takes a feeble swing at the nearest person*

Postman: *dodges easily*

Ganesh: I would say that I didn't expect that, but this _is_ a guy who treats mail as a life-or-death ordeal.

Me: In Hyrule, I bet it is. With all the monsters running around and everything.

Ganesh: Good point.

Link: *pushes Ruto*

The fangirl pit opened under Ruto's feet as she fell, then vanished as quickly as it'd come.

Michael: Hmm... Ah, good enough.

Link: Um... Is that a dare?

Michael: Wasn't that the whole point of doing it?

Vaati: Wait, what? Ten? Where?

Michael: Remember the man-harem truth?

Vaati: Well, yes, but I never...multiplied.

Michael: Looks like you're gonna have to. Though I don't think either of the recipients are as apprehensive about this one as you are.

Em: *bright red*

Me: *grinning like an idiot*

Michael: *looking at both of them* Yup, they're definitely looking forward to this.*smiles*

Vaati: *grimaces and casts a spell*

Ten Vaatis appeared, quickly hugged the two girls and vanished.

Michael: See? That wasn't so bad!

Em: I think it was unnecessarily...odd? *bows head* Sorry...

Vaati: *sigh* That's fine...

Michael: I have no comment. Although Sophie probably does...

Me: *tight smile* I'm trying not to squee, please don't distract me.

Michael: *evil grin, starts using Illusion magic to make it seem as though Linkin Park is performing live right now*

Me: Not fair! *bites lip*

Michael: *even more evil grin, switches it to one of the only Linkin Park songs that featured Evanescence, "Bring me to life"*

Me: Fine. *deep breath* _**SQUEEE! **__OMG! OMG! I JUST __**TOTALLY**__ GOT A HUG FROM __**VAATI! **__OMG! _*exhales* Happy?

Michael: Ecstatic. *small grin* But he isn't. *indicates Vaati, sighs* I love my job.

Majora: *whispers something to me*

Me: *smile* Sure.

Majora: *warps out, then back in, dragging Zelda behind her* Think fast! *shoves the Princess towards Michael*

Zelda: *trips and grabs onto Michael to keep her balance*

Michael: Ah, what- *notices it's Zelda* Oh...sorry...*awkward blush*

Zelda: No, it's my mistake. *also blushing almost indiscernibly*

Ganesh: *off to the side a bit* I probably should've seen this one coming. *smiles* Admittedly, though, Sophie, that was a novel idea.

Me: What, who me? *innocent smile* You think I'd...

Ganesh: Why not? But I'll probably have to reciprocate the favor some time soon.

Tingle: *is warped back to the studio* *Termnian-to-fairy-and-back* Yes, fairy-thing is very evil! Tingle hopes a brick falls on his head!

Me: *snort*

_Em: u need 2 stage a pocky intervention for msf!_

_msf: see above._

_oni: make out with majora for 2 hours then duel her!_

_majora: see above._

_sheik: hows the whole twin thing goin with u and zelda?_

_ganon: i think we need 2 see some fierce deity ganondorf!_

_dampe: i make u young for a whole chapter.(enjoy!)_

_shadow link: screw being a shadow! become the opposite, light link!_

_hms: where did u get all ur magical masks?_

_ruto: u are no longer a zora, u are a kokiri._

_link: u r stranded on a deserted island with no food, and only tingle for company.(have fun!)_

_-zeldagamer96_

Ganesh: Hmm...Not really sure what to say about this one other than this not being a very novel idea for an anonymous username.

Em: I'm not sure if I want to get between the fangirl and her Pocky...

Me: *hugs Pocky box possessively* No punishment for skipping this one!

Oni: Um...make-out for _two hours? _*points at Majora*

Majora: With him? No way! *points at Oni*

Michael: There is something very wrong with this picture...

Me: *nod*

Ganesh: And yet something undeniably cute about it!

Me: *smiles and nods*

Majora: *pales* WHAT?

Ganesh: I probably shouldn't have said that...

Majora: Damn straight!

Me: You are _not allowed_ to kill or seriously injure the co-author.

Ganesh: How many times have you said _that_ now?

Me: I've lost count. She really doesn't like you.

Majora: *storms off muttering*

Ganesh: Well, Oni...Looks like we have something of a dilemma here... or something.

Oni: *nods* I really don't know what to do... Can I go back to the restaurant?

Me: Wouldn't that be a reward?

Ganesh: And simultaneous punishment for Majora! I love this plan!

Me: Fine. *warps Oni out*

Ganesh: *evil planning face* I just got the perfect idea for payback...one that involves a slight dose of love potion...

Me: Okay...you do that. Sheik?

Sheik: It's fine.

Ganesh: Michael, where did you put that Gerudo love potion?

Michael: Visual storage in your book.

Ganesh: Oh. *pulls out a small purple vial* What's Majora's favorite drink?

Me: Cactus juice. Or, cactus fruit juice, I guess.

Ganesh: Please tell me we have that in the fridge, cause I'm really not in the mood to go around chopping cacti.

Me: Third shelf on the door.

Ganesh: Thanks. *runs to the kitchen* Holy crap, I did _not_ mean to walk in on that! *runs back out, rubbing his eyes*

Me: Oh right, Midna and Link...

Ganesh: Imagine walking in on two people alternating between eating ice cream and making out so passionately that you feel like a complete pervert for walking in on them in the first place.

Me: ...I'll brave it to see how much of my ice cream they've eaten. They've been in there a while. *walk into the kitchen.* 'Scuse me.

Ganesh: Might I add that the making out appeared to dominate most of the time they spent in there.

**Pause...**

Me: *comes back, carrying a glass bottle* Got the juice while I was in there.

Ganesh: Thanks! *takes the bottle, pours it into a glass, mixes in some of the purple liquid* Michael, you know the drill.

Michael: *walks to face the girl's dressing room*

The necromancer then produced a sheet of some sort of paper from his cloak. Whatever it was, it was an inhumane combination of adhesiveness and strength, as he stuck the glass to it, capped the glass, and threw it up a short distance before pulling out his crossbow and shooting the paper which then caught on half way down the bolt's shaft as it flew toward the open door and stuck itself to the wall inside the room.

Majora: *curiously inspecting the recently delivered glass of cactus juice*

Me: Let's make this a little more...even. *summons her own vial of the potion and adds it to a bottle of wine* I'll be right back. *warps out*

**Back at wherever Oni was...**

Me: *arguing with waiter* Just give him this bottle instead!

Waiter: I am very sorry, but you simply cannot go barging in demanding that we deliver this to him when it isn't even from our stock.

Me: ...I'm a writer, visiting one of her characters. You are going to give him this bottle, or I will personally delete your existence.

Michael: Why don't you just co-operate? We're not trying to kill the guy, though the same can't be said for you if you continue to be a nuisance. *flicks one wrist and watches as the nine-inch blade slides out*

Waiter: *pales* Oh dear...

Me: Oni can't die, anyway! C'mon! *pause* Wait, when did you get here, Michael?

Michael: *casually* Flew in, I was bored and Zelda went back to looking for those movies from the scavenger hunt dare.

Me: Got it. *turns around* Hey, where'd the waiter go?

Waiter: *in manager's office* I'm telling you, there are two crazy people in the lobby, maybe three!

Michael: Well, looks like that's my cue! I am outro! *explosion warps back to the studio*

Me: *sarcastic* Great. _Wonderful_. I _love_ disguises. *transforms into Twili self, complete with waitress outfit, and delivers the bottle to Oni herself* Special order, sir. *puts it down and walks away*

Oni: *is wondering why there are Twili waitresses* *shrugs and pours himself a glass from the bottle*

**Back to the studio...**

Zelda: *still looking for the movies* Now where is that last movie?

Michael: *warps in* Right here! *holds out the last one*

Zelda: *smiles* Thank you!

Me: *warps in, still Twili* Where's Majora? Quick!

Michael: *looks slightly irked* Still in the dressing room.

Me: Right! *warps Majora to the restaurant* And so it begins...

**Again at the restaurant...**

Oni: *finishing off the wine*

Majora: *sits down next to him*

Oni: *looks sullen* Hello.

Majora: *smiles* Hey. *glances around* Wow, sorta like when we first met...

Oni: We first met in a bar that sold two varieties of milk as the only beverage sitting next to a lonely drunk.

Majora: *laughs nervously* And three cackling old witches who wouldn't shut up.

Oni: *smiles a little* Yeah...

Majora: *wider smile than before* I must say, those were the days...

Oni: *laughs* Personally, I might have enjoyed them a little more if you hadn't gotten me banned from that place.

Majora: *starting to sound slightly suggestive* Well, you started it.

Oni: *grins* I suppose so. *glances at her*

Majora: *notices* Yes?

Oni: You look nice tonight, that's all.

Majora: *blushes* Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.

Oni: *laughs* Me? I'm on my fifth bottle of wine, I know I've spilled some on my tunic, and I'll bet my hair's a mess.

Majora: *laughs along* What an odd thing for a guy like you to worry about!

Oni: *raised eyebrow* What? It's not like I'm the only one who worries about how they look...

Majora: *blushes a little* Yes, well, it pays off, doesn't it?

Oni: For me or you?

Majora: *grins* Both, silly!

Oni: *starts laughing again*

Majora: What? It's true!

Oni: *stops laughing abruptly* Yeah, that and a few other things. *leans in towards her*

Majora: *also leans in expectantly* Such as?

Oni: This. *kisses her lightly*

Majora: *is stunned for a moment, the returns it much more forcefully*

**Back to the studio...**

Me: Um...you've had Fierce Deku Ganondorf, is that enough?

Dampe: *is suddenly a kid* *looks just like that kid from the graveyard in Ocarina*

Shadow: ...This sounds familiar...

Me: That's because someone already created the character; Shining Link. (A/N: Go look at the pretty pictures~ lo-wah(DOT)deviantart(DOT)com/art/Shining-Link-Contest-RESULTS-53591019) *transforms Shadow*

Shadow: *tugs on his now white tunic* Ah. That's why.

HMS: I travel the world, collecting magical and valuable masks!

Ruto: *is now a blue-haired, brown-eyed, scantly clothed Kokiri*

Link: No, please don't! *is warped out*

_Hey! I just discovered this fic (I normally only search for complete stories) and I think it's awesome! Here are the dares:_

_Ganondorf: Fight the final battle in TP against Link, but you get a giant bazooka!(Seriously, why do people hate Ganondorf? He's awesome!)_

_Tingle: Fight a giant donut._

_Midna: Let Zant be king for a day._

_Majora: I think you're really cool, so here's a magic cookie that can be both eaten and used as a weapon._

_Zant (after he's done being king): Go on national TV and jump up and down and laugh like in the Goron Mines section of the Zant fight._

_Goron elders: Make a band and call it The Rocking Stones._

_Vaati: Turn into a Minish then fight the Big Green ChuChu._

_Truths:_

_Navi: Did Link ever do anything really disgusting on his journey?_

_Majora: Do you have a crush on anyone?_

_Ruto: Did you know in Twilight Princess, the sage that Ganondorf kills is the sage of water a.k.a. Ruto?_

_SuperMagicPastaMan, signing out!_

Ganesh: SuperMagicPastaMan...I...I just have nothing to say...how odd...

Me: I think it's cool! Pasta all the way! *summons some and strikes a dramatic pose*

Ganondorf: *is warped to the island with Tingle and Link*

**2min later...**

Ganondorf/Link: *warped back*

Me: What happened?

Ganondorf: Ran out of ammunition trying to kill the little green thing with the balloon...

**On the island...**

A giant donut fell on Tingle's dead body.

**Back to the studio...**

Ganesh: *reads next dare, sweatdrop* Oh...crap...

Me: Um... Maybe we should warp forwards in time and work on fixing reality?

Ganesh: As much as I'd love to, I wanna see Michael's reaction to this...especially when Zant tries to address him by an abbreviated form of his name.

Me: ...As entertaining as that would be, I'm going to get out of the way. *warps out/forward*

Midna: *sighs, grimaces, and hands Zant the crown*

Zant: *starts bouncing up and down* Yeah! I'm king, I'm king!

Em: Oh dear...

Ganesh: This isn't going to be pretty...

Zant: *points at Michael* I am now your ruler! You must obey my every command! Okay, Mike?

Michael: *eye twitch* _What_ did you call me?

Zant: *beams* Mike! Under me, everyone must have a nickname!

Midna: That makes no sense...

Zant: Shut up, Middy!

Midna: *looks very mad* _What?_

Michael: *is full-on pissed off* He is dead! NOBODY CALLS ME "MIKE"! *calms down* You know what they say about nicknames?

Zant: *tips head to the side* What?

Michael: They're a little _cut_ off of the person's name, you catch my drift? *evil smile*

Midna: *cracks knuckles* I get a go at him when you're done, got it? So don't _completely_ destroy him.

Michael: Okay. *reaches into his cloak and slowly pulls out a throwing knife so that everyone can hear it grinding against its sheath, pulls out a second one in the same manner* First up, DART BOARD! Midna, if you'd be so kind?

Midna: My pleasure. *summons giant dart board and ties Zant to it* *sets the Zant board on a stand and spins it*

Zant: *screaming* LET ME DOWN!

Midna: *smiles evilly* And why would the true heir to the throne do that?

Zant: *screaming like a little girl* Because I said so!

Midna: That is quite possibly the worst excuse you've ever given. *shoves a sock in Zant's mouth to shut him up* Michael? Go ahead. *gets out of the way*

Michael: OKAY? SHALL WE HAVE A CAST MEMBER CALL OUT THE FIRST THREE THINGS I SHOULD HIT ON THIS GUY?

Midna: Sure. *turns to the crowd* Anyone?

Everyone: *start shouting over each other*

Michael: *makes shushing gestures* Please, please, one at a time. What was that? Left hand, right bicep, left thigh? OKAY!

Suddenly, the enraged necromancer threw both knives straight up into the air, quickly pulled out his crossbow, shot a Dark bolt through Zant's left hand, and put it away just in time to catch the two throwing knives and launch them to graze the maniac's right bicep and left thigh in quick succession.

And the crowd went wild!

Zant: Mmph! Hmmm! MPK! (translation: Let! Me! DOWN!)

Midna: What was that? *elbows Zant in the stomach*

Zant: MMPH! (translation: OW!)

Midna: You'll have to speak clearer.

Zant: MMMMMMPPPPHHH! (translation: I SAID "OW" YOU STUPID B****)

Midna: *frowns* I think I understood that one. *slaps Zant across the face and steps back* Watch your tongue.

Zant: MMph, MMPH MMPH! (translation: Oh shut up you useless-)

Midna: *punches him* I said _watch it_.

Zant: *spits out the sock to say something, but ends up vomiting all over Midna*

Midna: *disgusted and furious* You...you... *goes for his throat*

Em: *grabs Midna and pulls her back* Careful, Princess! You could get in really big trouble!

There was a whooshing sound, and a loud roar made everyone look to where Michael had been standing. In his place was an eight foot tall demon whose body was engulfed in white, sheeting flames. Aside from the giant, bat-like wings, one of the demon's arms shone with a piercing white light, while the other burned with a hungry black inferno.

Zant: *eyes practically pop out of his head* Wha...WHAT IS _THAT?_

Michael(Claimh Solais-Kaladbolg amalgamation): I seem to remember you calling me...was it Mike? *flexes one terrifyingly muscular arm casually*

Zant: *relaxes* Oh, it's you.

Midna: *glares at Zant*

Em: Come on, Your Highness, he's dead. Let's get you cleaned up. *manages to get Midna away from Zant*

Michael: *watches them leave* Oh, look, the only hope for me stopping has just left the room...too bad you had to throw up on her, eh? *grins despite the demonic face he has*

Zant: *smiles nervously* Uh... *is turned upside-down by a random person bumping into, or maybe shoving, the stand*

Michael: *does the non-Jedi equivalent of force-palming Zant in the mid-section with one clawed hand while the other readies a bolt*

Zant: *starts struggling again* I DUN WANNA DIE UPSIDE-DOWN!

Michael: Good point. *turns the stand into match-wood with the Darkness bolt he'd prepped*

Zant: *is half-buried under the wood* GAH! *starts trying to dig himself out*

Midna: *returns, completely cleaned of vomit and in a far better looking outfit* *suggestively* Hello, Zant.

Zant: GET ME OUT!

Midna: *smiles* Okay. *grabs him with her hair hand and pulls him out before slamming him back on the floor*

Zant: *cracks his head against the floor* Ooh...stars...

Michael(still a demon): May I?

Midna: *kicks Zant in the head and steps back* Now you can.

Zant: *still dazed* NO! You can't do this to me! I'm your king!

Midna: *smiles* It's called rebellion. Happens all the time.

Michael(_still_ a demon): And for another thing, _nobody_, and I mean nobody, owns me or orders me around unless _I_ want them too. Guess which side of that line you stand on, fish-head?

Zant: *hopefully* The side that you want to be ordered around by?

Michael: Wrong answer. *takes a few steps back and punts Zant across the room and through the door into the girls' dressing room*

Em: Oh dear. And Majora just went in there...

Screams could be heard from within the dressing room. Whose it was impossible to tell, but painfully easy to guess.

Zant: *literally flies out of the dressing room thanks to Majora's last attack and slides painfully to a halt near Em* Owwww...Help...Emmy...

Em: *glares at him* Don't call me that. *zaps him unconscious*

Everyone: *looks at Zant*

**Pause...**

The crowd surged forwards, quickly engulfing the "king."

**Next day...**

Me: *pops in, sees people sitting around poking Zant's body with sticks* ...Not as much damage as I thought.

Ganesh: *also pops in, yawns* What'd I miss?

Michael (back to normal now): The most fun I've had in a _very_ long time. *grins*

Majora/Oni: *pop in and look around*

Majora: Damn, looks like we missed a good time.

Me: Where've you two been?

Oni: In and out. *shifty eyes* Mostly out.

Me: Okay... What's next? *looks at the list*

Majora: *receives her cookie* *evil grin*

Zant: *is dead*

Ganesh: Ah, what the heck, let's revive him. *looks around* There really isn't much to clean up...hmmm.

Me: Let's not destroy the studio just because we can. *revives Zant and shoves him into a broadcasting room*

Announcer: So, how does it feel to finally be king of the Twilight Realm?

Zant: *has found coffee* *intelligible speed-talking* *bouncing in seat*

Ganesh: *watching from the safety of a room with a TV in it* Oh crap...this isn't gonna end well...

Me: ...Should we kill him again?

Ganesh: Maybe, but I just got a rather unique plan of how to go about it, in the case that we do come to it.

Me: *watching the hyper Twili nervously* Okay... Maybe I'll just warp the room to a safe distance away... *thinks about it* ...Yeah, let's save your plan for later. *warps the room*

Ganesh: *shaking his head* This isn't one of my uber-destructive plans, just my 'Dang, you almost feel sorry for the guy'-kind. If all goes well, anyway...

Me: Still, we've had a lot of Zant torture the last few pages. Let's save some for later.

Ganesh: ...True...okay, for later then.

**Back at the announcing booth...**

Announcer: Hello, your Highness? Are you listening to me? HELLO? *dives under desk as Zant starts to, literally, bounce off the walls* Crap...Security!

Michael: *walks in* Ye-*stares at the situation with a look of horror* ...oh...crap...um...TASTE DARKNESS! *throws multiple bolts of said element at the crazy temporary king*

Zant: *collapses, twitching, on the floor* Ow...coffee...

Michael: *walks out muttering* Mental note: Dark bolts and caffeine never mix well...

**Back to the studio...**

Me: *arguing with the Goron Elders* C'mon! It's just for one measly chapter!

Gor Ebizo (aka the elder who looks older than God): NO! We'll have nothing to do with your new-age, new-fangled 'rock 'n' roll'!

Gor Liggs: I agree with my elderly colleague, this simply goes against our peaceful life...well...peaceful if you consider the fact that we live in a volcano/mine.

Gor Amoto: I would also agree with them, this is simply not becoming of a Goron of my stature.

Me: *grumbling* Why did it have to be the only characters for whom the fan-pit holds no terror? *sigh* Fine, we'll skip it.

Ganesh: *looks at the next dare*...umm...I really don't know what to say about this one...Though it might not be safe to transform into a Minish while in the presence of the, quote unquote, fangirl author.

Me: I'm recovering! ...Not that this story is helping, but I am!

Ganesh: Yeah...sure...Vaati, let's just get it over with already.

Vaati: *pales despite his near-albino skin* *turns into a Minish* Well, where's the Chu monster?

Chu: *crawls across the floor toward him*

Michael: *looks at the tiny minish Vaati* I don't know why, but I so wanna try doing that.

Vaati: *uses wind to blow the Chu to little pieces* *changes back in a hurry* Done.

Ganesh: Well...that was easy...I was somehow expecting something more...dramatic...

Me: I'm a little disappointed too...

Em: You just like his Minish form, don't you?

Me: He's so _cuuute_~

Michael: Well, the author isn't, by any means, the only one who likes Vaati's Minish form, and I'm not talking about Fuu.

Em: *blush* Shut up!

Michael: *looks at Em* ...Now I feel stupid for trying anti-shyness therapy, all I need to do was make the same kind of humor that I used while in the company of Link and Midna.

Me: *looks at list* What's next?

Navi: Well...huh...Oh, I remember! Back at the Gerudo fort, Link had just found out that shooting the Gerudo's with arrows would net some rupees and stun them. Well...he tried it once, and somehow his aim went slightly downward and to the side...And if you know how skimpy those Gerudo "uniforms" are...

Link: Hey! Not my fault I got distracted!

Majora: *laughing until she sees her Truth* Oh...um...

Me: I think we've made _that_ very clear.

Majora: Um...well...actually...there was this one deity I kinda liked back in the Chaos Realm.

Michael: Oh god, not some other story about the Chaos realm, I've had _way_ too much firsthand experience with them.

Majora: *scowls* Fine, I'll shut up.

Michael: Please do, as much as I like them, they can be kinda creepy at times.

Ruto: *still Kokiri* *reads her Truth* Um...No, I didn't...

Michael: AHHHH! Where did you pop up from!

Ruto: *tries to look cute* I was right here the whole time.

Michael: AHHHH! Why is everyone doing that to me...and aren't you supposed to be infatuated with Link?

Ruto: *sad* Of course, but he's hiding.

Michael: *demonic smile, thinking:* I just got a great idea... *speaking:* No he isn't, he's right there. *creates Illusion of Link standing a slight distance away in Zora armor*

Ruto: *starry eyes* Yay! *tries to glomp the illusion* *falls flat on her face* Ow...

Michael: *uncontrollably laughing while rolling on the floor* AHAHAHAHAHA! That...That was...great!...best ...faceplant...ever! AHAHAHAHA! I love my job!

_yay! another review by me and my friend! (and make it good. they're always a little lame.)_

_Linebeck/Ciela: hmmmmmmmmmm... *taps foot trying to come up with a good one* I'll come back to you._

_Link:...I'll come back to you as well._

_Ganondorf: You didn't answer my question! If you wanted to remake the world but never put any effort into it, then why did you want to remake it in the first place?_

_Ciela:again fight with Navi but this time you will both be human._

_Msfcatlover: why have you made my dares/truths somewhat lame?_

_Ciela(again): you now a sadist like Majora. TORTURE LINEBECK!_

_Link: why were you not mad at Linebeck for him kissing Tetra?_

_Jolene: why do you have a person who looks exactly like you in ST?_

_Linebeck the 3rd/Jolene the3rd(or game person?): Are you related?_

_Linebeck the 3rd: Who was your Grandma?(Please be Ciela,Please be Ciela)_

_you're lucky Linebeck: I wasn't able to come up with any dares for you! but I came up with a truth! Why did you look at Ciela so sad at the end of the game? (admit it, you do like her!)_

_well that's it._

_~Linebecky29._

Ganesh: Well, then...nice idea for the name...unoriginal and cliched, but still...nice...

Ganondorf: *eyetwitch* If I could get the Triforce, I could just fix all the damage. Therefore, there was _no point_ in me going through the effort to work on it at the time.

Ganesh: *reads next dare* Oh...damn...not this again...remember what happened last time?

Me: Apparently it was not satisfactory.

Ciela: NO! I am not going through that again! *is turned into a human*

Navi: What! N- *is also turned into a human*

Me: *gives them both clothes*

Ganesh: Sickos, every last pervert who enjoys this is hearing it from me! Is there any harm in skipping this one?

Me: I normally skip repeat Dares.

Ganesh: Oh, hoorah! *fires twins bolts of gray magic that restore the fairies to normal*

For whatever reason, there was a collective groan throughout the studio, though sparse in voices, loud in its complaining tone.

Ganesh: Excuse me?

Me: Ignore them.

Ganesh: Next one's yours.

Me: *sigh* I was probably tired at the time I wrote out those responses.

Ganesh: Hey! Don't hate on other writers before you try doing what they do!

Me: *smiles* Thanks.

Ganesh: No problem. *reads next dare* Oh...great...more torture... *sigh, pulls out a potion* Here, take it if you want.

Ciela: What's that for?

Ganesh: Reversing the required personality change as soon as possible. We don't need two Majoras running around here.

Ciela: Oh. *quickly takes and drinks the potion*

Ganesh: Good, now that potion binds to certain receptors in the brain, it'll activate after you come off the inadvertant adrenaline rush you'll get from torturing Linebeck. Long story short, when you're done, so is the sadist side of you.

Ciela/Linebeck: *warped to the backroom*

Soon after, loud screams started to issue from the room, each one preceded by some sort of cracking sound, likely that of a whip.

Me: *rubs ears and makes the backroom soundproof* There we go. Next...

Link: It was just a Dare...

Tetra: And it doesn't really change anything between us...does it?

Link: Of course not!

Me: They're so cute...

Ganesh: Agreed.

Jolene: *shrug* Why does Linebeck? Why does Link? Who knows, who cares.

Ganesh: Well, they have plausible reasons, both being descendants of their Phantom Hourglass counterparts.

Jolene: *shrugs again* Fine. Sure. Let's go with that.

Ganesh: Wait, the person who looks like you could be a descendant? I've never played either game, so I wouldn't really know.

Jolene: I didn't say she was descended from me. She could be my little sister's grandaughter, or something.

Ganesh: ...okay then...um...moving on now...

Linebeck the 3rd: Not that I know of...

Ganesh: Though it would be understandable if you were, being the third of that bloodline with that name.

Linebeck the 3rd: *small sigh* I suppose.

Ganesh: But anyway, onto your next question.

Linebeck the 3rd: Grandma died before I was born and my Grandfather didn't like to talk about her, believe it or not.

Ganesh: ...okay then.

Linebeck (the 1st): We're all friends. Wouldn't you be sad about saying good-bye to two good friends?

Ganesh: I understand, but you know what they mean by that question.

Linebeck: *sigh* If there's anything between Ciela and me, it's from farther along in time than I was plucked from.

Ganesh: "plucked from"?

Me: *sweatdrop* I yanked them all out from right after the ends of their games.

Ganesh: *raised eyebrow* Oh...hmm...

_Navi: Getting revenge because some one did something bad Is not a bad thing It's payback (So long as you don't Kill them) so you can get back at Tatl for being a jerk to Link and it just means your a good friend not a mean person_

_GDT: Why can't the Kokiri leave the forest? I dare you to use your magic to allow them to_

_Zant: Get Raped by a Redead_

_I get rid of the fairy bottleing Taboo In Kokiri forest (But only if they deserve it like trying to embarrass their Kokiri partners or causeing a lot of trouble not just for the fun of it)_

_Spryte (What I call Saria's fairy): Have you ever tried to humiliate Saria to no end?_

_Sophie: hear I a chalupa_

_Ganondorf: Here is a cookie from my fanfiction (Sophie I'm sure you know what happens after he eats it XD)_

_Nabooru: You are now the Leader of the Gerudos_

_Ruto: You are now married to Mikau and fused with Lulu_

_Raruu: why didn't you just use magic to age Link 7 years instead of freezing him in time for 7 years and alowwing Ganongorf to gain power!For this Link is the new light sage_

_Kokiri Link: Bottle Navi Then hear how she felt about it_

_Saria: Same as above with Spryte_

_all Kokiri: Party In Studio (everyone else can join in if they want)_

_-Kozan the Darkainian Kokiri_

Ganesh: Ahh, Kozan, nothing like a repeat reviewer with fresh dares...

Navi: Didn't I already say that I am not a vengeful kind of person...What is it with these reviewers wanting me to attack Tatl?

Me: If the fight were unfair, then it would qualify as "funny." If it were perfectly balanced, then it would be "action." I think that's what they're after.

Michael: *grin* Hey Navi, do you mind if I show you Valmanway?

Navi: *puzzled* Um...I don't think so, why?

Michael: *pulls out the softly glowing sky-blue sword* Watch.

The necromancer held the blade in front of him, facing Tatl, and moved it down rapidly, with the pommel with a sizable emerald set in it first. Suddenly, Tatl dropped in her altitude rapidly.

Tatl: Hey!

Me: *giggle* That never gets old...

Michael: I think that's the first time I've done it here...*swings it down again*

Tatl: *drops* Stop it! Not fair!

Michael: So? Didn't you just hear the author's discourse about fair and unfair fights? *hands the blade to Navi* Here, you try.(Co-A/N: In case you're wondering how she can lift it, Ciela can swing the Hammer from Phantom Hourglass, so there!)

Navi: Okay... *swings it down*

Tatl: *drops* That's it! *lands, and walks away with what little dignity she has left*

Michael: Not quite, can I have the sword back?

Navi: Sure. *gives it back*

Michael: *makes a small dome out of the Illusion blades over Tatl*

Tatl: *looks up* ...I hate you.

Michael: Hey, I'm just trying to act as Karma here, you did act like a real jerk to him in the beginning...*removes the dome and sheathes Valmanway*

Tatl: Hmmph! *goes back to strutting off in what would have been a stately fashion, if she weren't so small*

Michael: Eh, hopefully she'll get over it, cause I've got no idea how to get her back in a good mood...

Me: Next one.

GDT: Well, they can leave the forest, but by doing so they sacrifice their immortality and so are no longer Kokiri. My magic only reaches as far as the forest's edge, after all.

Ganesh: I see a problem with that. You die after Link kills Gohma, but the Kokiri don't age seven years in your absence.

GDT: Though my son, the Deku Sprout hadn't grown very large, his very presence kept my magic alive.

Ganesh: ...technicalities? Maybe...I don't know... *reads the next dare* ...How...tasteless...

Me: I so don't want to see _that._ *shudder* ReDeads...

Michael: *sigh* Fine, I'll do it...*notices some people staring at him* What? I'm a necromancer. *makes a ReDead, points at Zant* Go get him...

ReDead: Muuuuuuon! *jumps on Zant*

Zant: *starts flailing around like crazy* AHHHH, get off me! Get off!

Me: *puffs out really fast*

ReDead: *starts sucking the life out of him*

Zant: *struggles for a few minutes, collapses, dies*

Michael: Let's never do that again.

Zelda: Agreed.

ReDead: More! *starts walking towards Zelda*

Michael: How can you be more dead? *decapitates it with Laevateinn*

Saria: A taboo isn't really like a law, it's just something that's frowned on...

Me: No thanks, I'm not a huge fan of Mexican food. ...Or is it Spanish? *goes to double-check*

Ganondorf: *looks at cookie suspiciously* Hmm... *eats it* (A/N: ...I don't think you've written a scene for that yet, Kozan... *sweatdrop*)

Nabooru: *slightly angry* I would've been leader of the Gerudos if _he_ *points at Ganondorf* hadn't been born a male! You know how it goes, a man is born in the Gerudo tribe every century and he automatically becomes king.

Rauru: If I had merely aged Link seven years, without letting time run its natural course, there would've been a chance of some random and quite fatal anomaly occuring, such as a time paradox or an actual splitting of time itself. And besides, if I hadn't, then how would Zelda be able to send him back seven years to relive his childhood without causing _another_ paradox!

Link: So! I lost seven years of my childhood! I know Zelda sent me back in time to relive it, but I kept with me all the memories of my adventure. I still remembered _everything_. How could I truly enjoy the innocence of childhood with the mind of an adult! *is suddenly wearing a robe identical to Rauru's* ...Man, these robes are stuffy, how do you wear these all the time?

* * *

That was as far as we got, sadly, before every computer I had access to up and decded it hated Gmail and GoogleDocs, so I couldn't get back. I'd like to appologize to Ganesh for not showing up for so long before this, I was trying to fix the computer. I'm very, very sorry.


End file.
